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2005-12-18 - 10:51 a.m. getting better all the time thank you more than words can say you help me feel less alone in this life today I wish I could tell you something that would make you feel as good as your comments make me feel if only I could I would you may notice, if you look beyond this entry (and bless all you regular readers who do), that the dates are kind of out of order and I seem to be skipping around in time... well, I am, sorta... not in your Quantum Leap way (I think), but in a days go by faster than I've been uploading kind of way so I come to the date it is in RealTime� and write an entry and when time permits I put together the unfinished entries from priod dates and slip them in with their original dates even though they are not being uploaded in that elusive RealTime�... it makes sense if you think about it... though you may have to twist your head a little... anyway, if you blinked, you missed some odd entries that included a brief snippet of my personal calendar (for those of you who actually want to know the me I know as me behind the candoor) and the first actual video included in this diary (imagine, it took more than eleven hundred entries to do that), which is not exactly child or work friendly as our culture stands today (that oughta get you looking for it, huh?)... we also had a bit of an exposee on Betty Boop, for the perverse in all of us... well, some of us... I shared thoughts about the new King Kong and reached #1 at Google (and at MSN) for my expertise as a masturbatory aide (what an honor, huh?)... I had a cold-flu bug and healed myself and waxed poetic about this season of cheer and philosophized and rhetoricized and even plagiarized a bit... a couple more of those loved and hated Things lists were added (and a couple more are in the works) and I've confessed to being unfukd (but am so unfukd I am even an embarrassment to the unfukd community, which is something special in a twisted sort of way)... and here's some more ways I found myself expressing myself in the past weeks... I found Peace is the Way and joined... not surprisingly, I am the first Orlando member... there are just over 5,000 members at the moment... about half did not provide a city location, so my hope that this might actually be a grassroots community organization does not seem to find fruition, but I'll keep hoping our collective cultural paranoia will give way to the survival instinct and we'll open our minds to realize we must take the risk to love or we will destroy ourselves (always love, hate will get you every time... the lyric is hauntingly beautiful and I am very happy that it's been the most frequent search phrase bringing people here lately)... the site asks for a word or phrase, encouraging a three single word answers to each of the seven questions and with that in mind, this is my soul profile: 1. What is your purpose for being here? I pondered question 5 a while before realizing that I do not know enough about people from myths and legends to consider any single person a hero... I thought of Buddha, Jesus, Einstein, Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Mandella, Lincoln, Joan of Arc, Da Vinci, Copernicus, Gallileo, Newton, Schwietzer, ML King, and many others... but I do not know enough about any of them to call them my heros... I do know enough about the words of the two people I did list as second and third answers to call them my heros... I found for the other questions, at times, phrases did come to mind, but I did my best to restrict my answers to single words as asked... after registering and the answering seven questions that form what they call my soul profile, I discover that it's Deepak Chopra's website, or at least he's the host... the site is not set up to easily find a profile, except for Chopra's profile, which is what we find when we click on the like for "Soul Profile" and when we do broase the directory and finally find our name and click on it, we find Chopra's picture above our answers... seems his ego is rather dominant, but perhaps that is a skew in my perspective and he can justify his picture on every profile by claiming it gives the site a more personal touch... still, I would not want people clicking on my profile to assume it was my picture when it was not me... is that my ego or just my quest for clarity and wish for, at least when I am seriously trying to introduce myself on a serious website, as little misunderstanding as possible?... I clicked on the chat link and found nothing happening... I clicked on the 'chat the world' link and was sent to another website that, surprise, surprise, crashed my browser... when will they ever learn, when will they ever learn... an old song, but still so valid... in this case, when will these people with great ideas realize that the internet and personal comuting is in it's infancy and only a fraction of the interneting public actually have the cutting edge computers that can handle the cutting edge memory hungry software and website designs and the vast majority are turned away from great ideas for community action because their computers simply can not handle the downloads and connections... anyway, for whatever it's worth, I hope the idea gets off the ground and the site develops features that allow easy communication and a real sense of community and purpose... to feel empowered we must find ways to actually connect and see results from our actions... clicking a chat window and finding no way to leave a message, or clicking a link and finding the page is too big and crashes the browser is certainly not empowering... so I wander into this meme-thing (I think the idea is post and comment anonymously with the answers to the seven questions): Tell me in an anonymous post and to prove that rules are made to be broken, and my oddly enigmatic exhibitionist tendencies, here are my answers that I left anonymously somewhere, but to twist the rules even more, I won't tell you where: 1. I would love to love you and do not know why, so maybe it's just loneliness or something in your eye, but I would love to love you and I'm afraid to try, so I'll remain anonymous and end this with a sigh... deeper into personal obscurity that can reveal so much if you only take the time to explore the possibilities, like these references to CDs that would be played at my wake (as it winds down after days of celebratory revelry of all sorts and rhythms and cultural respects)... it's the softer side of the headbanger... you can learn even more music about me from these lyrics... and of course, like the list of CDs in storage and the unwritten list of many thousands of vynil recordings also in storage, it is unfinished, incomplete, and never enough... but it's a fair start...
I broke my piggy back and bought myself a present as I ordered all of bornearly's CDs (and all of her trio's CDs, a whole bunch in all... something I've been meaning to do for years and finally almost can afford it... and go wish her a belated happy birthday and while you're at it, buy her CDs! cuz you know you want to)... and as if I had something to prove (like I'm crazy irresponsible and have no respect for my budget director), I even more impulsively bought all three Lennon Murphy CDs and I am all excited about getting new music...
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. . . . . the moment we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)... connections . . . . AND WHATDYA MISS? Can You Laugh At The Sky? DSandDrew It's Been A While Just a Moment (Proof of Mice) A Moment of Forever older still random chance who me? leave a note? (read archived notes) send me mail? you want to know me? soundtrack 101 Things The Sequel The Trilogy 202 Things 200 Things 202 More Things 202 Things Again testing123 have time, love words? sleepwriting (where the heart dreams) and now, in RealTime� and then, (e)thereal and now, briefly, in case it matters and now, the dirt, drama, and details (babbling) DO ME! (Johari Style) DO ME WRONG! (but do me right) SOAP! (EPISODE ONE) (the dark side of candoor) loving linkers other loves A Diaryland Survey other surveys small world your profile matters (search for you & find me) tell others read others applause? favor? gift? get your own! saturn rings and other places googlisms browsing where've ya been? the searchers favorites 911 HEY AMERICA! LOOK AT YOUR CHILD STOP THE ABUSE (GET THE CODE) THOUGHTS ON GOD ( temporary attractions ) BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE! WAS #1 @ MSN! (for a while, now on page (EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS) RSS? who links here blogwise Blogarama Globe of Blogs blogthings ~ BLOGLINKERS ~ ~ BLOGROLLING ~ Blogroll Me! published blogadvance blogazoo blogexplosion blogmad? bloglines (PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS) TSUNAMI INFO fantasy sports? BLOGGIES? sorry everybody Orange Blossom Music Festival Deland Music Festival MIT Survey brilliant idea Celebrate Birthdays FOR FREEDOM CONTINUE... talking dog SAY HELLO 407-325-1482 and if you want to leave take good care hope you make a lot of true friends out there |