LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2005-12-18 - 10:51 a.m.

getting better all the time


thank you for your recent comments
thank you more than words can say
you help me feel less alone
in this life today

I wish I could tell you something
that would make you feel as good
as your comments make me feel
if only I could
I would

you may notice, if you look beyond this entry (and bless all you regular readers who do), that the dates are kind of out of order and I seem to be skipping around in time... well, I am, sorta... not in your Quantum Leap way (I think), but in a days go by faster than I've been uploading kind of way so I come to the date it is in RealTime and write an entry and when time permits I put together the unfinished entries from priod dates and slip them in with their original dates even though they are not being uploaded in that elusive RealTime...

it makes sense if you think about it...

though you may have to twist your head a little...


anyway, if you blinked, you missed some odd entries that included a brief snippet of my personal calendar (for those of you who actually want to know the me I know as me behind the candoor) and the first actual video included in this diary (imagine, it took more than eleven hundred entries to do that), which is not exactly child or work friendly as our culture stands today (that oughta get you looking for it, huh?)... we also had a bit of an exposee on Betty Boop, for the perverse in all of us... well, some of us...

I shared thoughts about the new King Kong and reached #1 at Google (and at MSN) for my expertise as a masturbatory aide (what an honor, huh?)... I had a cold-flu bug and healed myself and waxed poetic about this season of cheer and philosophized and rhetoricized and even plagiarized a bit... a couple more of those loved and hated Things lists were added (and a couple more are in the works) and I've confessed to being unfukd (but am so unfukd I am even an embarrassment to the unfukd community, which is something special in a twisted sort of way)...

and here's some more ways I found myself expressing myself in the past weeks... I found Peace is the Way and joined... not surprisingly, I am the first Orlando member... there are just over 5,000 members at the moment... about half did not provide a city location, so my hope that this might actually be a grassroots community organization does not seem to find fruition, but I'll keep hoping our collective cultural paranoia will give way to the survival instinct and we'll open our minds to realize we must take the risk to love or we will destroy ourselves (always love, hate will get you every time... the lyric is hauntingly beautiful and I am very happy that it's been the most frequent search phrase bringing people here lately)...

the site asks for a word or phrase, encouraging a three single word answers to each of the seven questions and with that in mind, this is my soul profile:

1. What is your purpose for being here?
-honesty
-innocence
-curiosity

2. What will be your contribution to the world?
-love
-caring sharing
-learning growing peace

3. What do you see as your unique talents?
-nurturing
-understanding
-helping

4. What are the best qualities you display in your closest relationships?
-trust
-passion
-compassion

5. Who are your heroes in myth and legend?
-(uncertain)
-Harry Chapin
-John Lennon

6. Which qualities do you most admire in others?
-honesty
-innocence
-love

7. At the peak moments of your life, how did you feel?
-euphoric
-peaceful
-infinite


I pondered question 5 a while before realizing that I do not know enough about people from myths and legends to consider any single person a hero... I thought of Buddha, Jesus, Einstein, Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Mandella, Lincoln, Joan of Arc, Da Vinci, Copernicus, Gallileo, Newton, Schwietzer, ML King, and many others... but I do not know enough about any of them to call them my heros... I do know enough about the words of the two people I did list as second and third answers to call them my heros...

I found for the other questions, at times, phrases did come to mind, but I did my best to restrict my answers to single words as asked... after registering and the answering seven questions that form what they call my soul profile, I discover that it's Deepak Chopra's website, or at least he's the host...

the site is not set up to easily find a profile, except for Chopra's profile, which is what we find when we click on the like for "Soul Profile" and when we do broase the directory and finally find our name and click on it, we find Chopra's picture above our answers... seems his ego is rather dominant, but perhaps that is a skew in my perspective and he can justify his picture on every profile by claiming it gives the site a more personal touch... still, I would not want people clicking on my profile to assume it was my picture when it was not me... is that my ego or just my quest for clarity and wish for, at least when I am seriously trying to introduce myself on a serious website, as little misunderstanding as possible?...

I clicked on the chat link and found nothing happening... I clicked on the 'chat the world' link and was sent to another website that, surprise, surprise, crashed my browser... when will they ever learn, when will they ever learn... an old song, but still so valid...

in this case, when will these people with great ideas realize that the internet and personal comuting is in it's infancy and only a fraction of the interneting public actually have the cutting edge computers that can handle the cutting edge memory hungry software and website designs and the vast majority are turned away from great ideas for community action because their computers simply can not handle the downloads and connections...

anyway, for whatever it's worth, I hope the idea gets off the ground and the site develops features that allow easy communication and a real sense of community and purpose... to feel empowered we must find ways to actually connect and see results from our actions... clicking a chat window and finding no way to leave a message, or clicking a link and finding the page is too big and crashes the browser is certainly not empowering...

so I wander into this meme-thing (I think the idea is post and comment anonymously with the answers to the seven questions):

Tell me in an anonymous post

1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note. It doesn't have to be for me. In fact, I think I'd prefer if it wasn't. I want to know your insides.
5. Who's it for?
6. Lyrics to a song.
7. And a hint to who you are.


and to prove that rules are made to be broken, and my oddly enigmatic exhibitionist tendencies, here are my answers that I left anonymously somewhere, but to twist the rules even more, I won't tell you where:

1. I would love to love you and do not know why, so maybe it's just loneliness or something in your eye, but I would love to love you and I'm afraid to try, so I'll remain anonymous and end this with a sigh...

2. Your charisma is even more powerful than your charm, your charm even more powerful than your smile, and your smile could melt the coldest heart...

3. You could re-define beauty for the whole culture if you wanted to, but I think you're afraid to fail...

4. She gave me everything I ever dreamed of, every hope for love came true, she was the perfect person in my fantasy, but still I find more in you...

5. My dream of you...

6a.
"maybe, maybe I'm wrong,
to go on thinking, to sing my song...

slowly, the ice melts away,
call on the choir to sing, and turn no one away"

~ Moody Blues



6b.
"and when you know you've found a real friend somewhere
suddenly all the others are so much easier to bear"

~ Jackson Browne



7. in the shadow of the mouse...


deeper into personal obscurity that can reveal so much if you only take the time to explore the possibilities, like these references to CDs that would be played at my wake (as it winds down after days of celebratory revelry of all sorts and rhythms and cultural respects)... it's the softer side of the headbanger... you can learn even more music about me from these lyrics... and of course, like the list of CDs in storage and the unwritten list of many thousands of vynil recordings also in storage, it is unfinished, incomplete, and never enough...

but it's a fair start...

Elton John
The Beatles
John Denver
The Eagles
Jackson Browne
Cat Stevens
Buckingham Nicks
The Eagles
Elton John
Harry Chapin
Bob Dylan
Melissa Etheridge
Jackson Browne
The Beatles
Pink Floyd
CSN&Y
The Who
Tanya Tucker
Patty Smyth
Melissa Etheridge
Bob Dylan
Harry Chapin
The Beatles
John Denver
Fleetwood Mac
Cat Stevens
James Taylor
John Denver
Billy Joel
Elton John
Pink Floyd
Moody Blues
Harry Chapin
John Lennon
Moody Blues
Carole King
The Telling
Elton John
Abbey Road
Seasons of the Heart
The Eagles
Late For The Sky
Tea For The Tillerman
Buckingham Nicks
Hotel California
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
Legends of the Lost and Found
Highway 61 Revisited
Melissa Etheridge
Lives in the Balance
The White Album
Wish You Were Here
Deja Vu
Tommy
Can't Run From Yourself
Patty Smyth
Never Enough
Blonde on Blonde
Dance Band on the Titanic
Sgt. Pepper, Revolver, Rubber Soul
The Flower That Shattered the Stone
Fleetwood Mac
Teaser and the Firecat
Sweet Baby James
Poems, Prayers, and Promises
52nd Street
Made in England
Dark Side of The Moon
Seventh Sojourn
Short Stories
Imagine
Blue Jays
Tapestry
Blue Solitaire


I broke my piggy back and bought myself a present as I ordered all of bornearly's CDs (and all of her trio's CDs, a whole bunch in all... something I've been meaning to do for years and finally almost can afford it... and go wish her a belated happy birthday and while you're at it, buy her CDs! cuz you know you want to)...

and as if I had something to prove (like I'm crazy irresponsible and have no respect for my budget director), I even more impulsively bought all three Lennon Murphy CDs and I am all excited about getting new music...

and I've been reading Smed's music entries and remembering and learning and I'll have more to say about the insiprations I am finding there in upcoming entries...

I've even taken a couple of nights off work (back in RealTime, which is actual two days from the date above, but now it's not a secret, if it ever was) and am doing laundry, finally... can it get any better than this?...

well, maybe a little J






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
Blogarama
Globe of Blogs
blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




~ BLOGROLLING ~
(Blogroll RSS)


Blogroll Me!

published
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blogazoo
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blogmad?
bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






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and if you want to leave
take good care
hope you make a lot
of true friends out there