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2005-12-04 - 3:50 p.m.

202 Things with Cutething

well, you know that the moment I saw cutething had a 101 Things the gears in my head set off to respond and therein create a whole new 202 Things in this ever expanding narcissistic madness of Lists of Things things that has infected me and this diary like the sweet soul of rock and roll full of rhythm and blues shot through and magic, don't forget the magic...

you'll find links to the other Things lists over there on the left as you scroll down a bit... it's really quite amazing that after years of avoiding these lists of things we're seeing what, the sixth such list?... and there's at least a few more in the works (ahhhh, run away, run away)...

I am bound to sneak some extra commentary in when I find time, especially past #50 when I started getting sleepy and when I start getting sleepy I tend to think in one-liners... I might be a sleepy sarcastic bad stand-up comedian... but for now I shall not rattle on and on in an introductory fashion any more than I already have (now that"s amazing, huh?)... ah, all self-engrandizement and mockery aside, here we go:

202 Things with CuteThing

1. i love chai tea.
I don't know if I've ever had chai tea the way it's supposed to be made because the only chai tea I've had is a tea bag in water labelled Chai Tea... somehow I think the experience of ordering it out win public, with friends, even, makes the whole Chai Tea experience more than just a tea bag in water... I hear about it a whole lot, especially in little out of the way tea rooms...

anyway, I usually prefer iced tea to hot tea most of the time, but then, I live in Florida so I usually prefer iced drinks of any kind to hot, unless I'm not feeling well or really cold... and it's got to be sweet... very sweet... in the end, I think I still prefer coffee to tea though... french vanilla triple chocolate mocha with sweet cream, that I like hot...
2. i'm afraid of being bored.
I don't understand the concept of boredom too well... I enjoy what I do and change what I am doing when I feel like changing it... I don't know if I've ever actually let myself get bored... as long as I can babble, I find my way out of boring moments pretty easily... maybe it's because I am so easily amused... I enjoy staring at trees until I see faces and scenes and characters acting out stories, especially outdoors at night under stars... but indoors stucco ceilings and mosaic tiles can suffice... maybe amused easily is another understatement...
3. i'm pro-choice.
the right to choose what happens to your own body, I am definitely for that... people need to take care of their own lives and stop trying to run everybody elses... though being adopted and not very wanted by a few different families, personally I am happy my biological mother, whomever she is, did not abort me...

I am pro-choice, yes definitely, but I wish people would think about their choices before and after intercourse a whole lot more than they seem to these days and I am very pro-adoption as a choice for an unwanted embryo, fetus, child, or grown person of any species...
4. i'm shorter than i look.
you're cute... I know, you hate me now... I love you too, shorty...
5. i'm blonde.
and I think you have great thick amazing hair... I love hair (more on this later)...
6. no one who knows me has made a blonde joke about me.
that's because they are intimidated by your intelligence... hey, wait a minute, I'm not supposed to be responding here, I'm supposed to be reflecting on myself based on your list... what happened to the narcississm?... like there are rules to these things?...

ok, I don't know how I look to other people, I haven't been told in many years... and I seldom paid attention... my hair is dark brown, looking darker almost black when wet, though some strands of grey have appeared... I think about coloring it now and then, more for fun than anything else... it's lower back length... frizzy, wavy, weird depending on what I do to it with chemicals and hair grooming instruments... without a whole lot of conditioner, a comb will break trying to go through it dry... I get compliments on my hair... I lose more hair in the shower each day than many people have on their heads and yet my head is still thick with it... I think I'm part orangutang, except I have a hairy butt... and it doesn't protrude much... that might be more information than you needed... and people make jokes about me all the time, though usually following my lead...
7. i have a really strange collection of books.
me too... I used to buy books by the carton from wholesalers and libraries and yard sales though many were given away or taken over the years, I still have more than ten thousand still left in storage... and twice as many magazines... I love to read reference books, especially obscure knowledge and trivia... and science fiction stories... and lots of what are called classics... and textbooks, I actually like to read textbooks, though ironically, I never opened one while I was in school... such a silly rebel, I was... and oh, I miss my library... I've got to pay the annual storage fee this month, thanks for the reminder...
8. i'm not religious, but i read the bible, and various other religious texts.
same here, though I haven't read any formal religious texts in years... the words in religious papers have influenced so many people so deeply that it might explain much of what people do, though the why and wherefore is still rather weird to me... way too complicated and contradictory (not to mention intrusive) ways to simply say "be good... I did read about Glooscap and The Flying Spaghetti Monster recently...
9. i'm addicted to su doku and logic puzzles in general.
I found su doku and tried it... numbers, logic puzzles, I could play them for days and forget to eat... so since I could get addicted too easily, so I am forgetting I know where it is... for the moment...
10. i love a really cold can of diet dr. pepper.
Code Red, Mountain Dew, that is... when not available, Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb or root beer will suffice... and sometimes I crave a good orange soda... Dr. Brown's Black Cherry was my childhood favorite... yes, sweet drinks... always ice cold, from the freezer with a little slush in it...
11. the only meat i eat is fish.
I lived a Vegan life for a few years when I had the time and money in the nineties and most of the nineties I was a vegetarian, most of the eighties I was an almost vegetarian eating some fish and occasional meats... I ate no meat or fish as a child by my own choice, except for the occasional hamburger or meatballs, but breading and spices were half of those, at least... I've gone back to omnivorous ways in recent years, but ethically I believe in the book Diet For A Small Planet and know that it takes 16 pounds of grain to make one pound of beef and 16 pounds of grain can feed a whole lot more people than one pound of beef can, so if we stopped raising and feeding cows grain, the grain and fed people then we'd take a big step toward the solution to the hunger problem on this planet... and the cruel penned in food-animal farms and antibiotics and hormones they are shot up with sucks for them and for us... fisheries aren't very kind to fish either... and I think without a whole lot of coaxing I could share a Vegan life once again if my partner was into it...
12. i'm straight.
I prefer one on one sexuality with females, particularly petite females with honest open faces and healthy bodies (this is an imprint on my libido formed by my first meaningful emotional and sensual sharings)... I've experimented with other experiences with both genders, so I am secure in my preferences, humans, mostly...
13. i'm single.
I've never legally married, though after seven years there's common law in some states and I did live with someone just over seven years...
14. my longest relationship lasted 4 years. it was platonic.
8 years for me (same person as in #13), not platonic, but not a fall in love the one for me... I don't recall an anniversary date being celebrated, unless it was February 11th or somewhere around there, because it was, from the start, a roommate and best friend relationship for me... in those 8 years I returned to school and built a 24/7 career, so I was not home much... we still were very comfortable together and had much fun when there was time to share...
15. i have a habit of surprising people with my gender. they seem to expect me to be a guy.
and I find the opposite, especially online...
16. i have weird hobbies.
now this begs further query... weird is a weird word with an elusive definition... different to the point of shocking, perhaps... unpredictable... anyway, writing is my primary hobby these days... playing with words... I used to communicate much more than I do... I don't have a video game machine or I could get lost in some sports games that keep a lot of stats on players, teams, and coaches (the more numbers the better... EA Sports makes some great ones, the college football one may be my favorite)... music used to be as major a hobby as writing, but...
17. i make a lot of mix cds.
the excitement of finding new music that moves me can only be compared with falling in love or amazing sex... even chocolate is too transitory, too temporary... once upon a time I made a lot of mix tapes... the music in me kind of mostly died before CD burners were so prevalent... music and love walked hand in hand and my trust in both was shaken to it's roots (and I stay away from both now?... how domb)... someday I hope to wake up and live music as I once did and have my music collection back and a computer that can handle it all (a few dozen tetrabyte drives oughta do it) and then I'll recreate my musical heaven again... there's always hope...
18. i also do needlepoint.
I know how to sew, but don't do it much... these days I don't do much much of anything nut work and write and daily maintenance, actually... sigh...
19. when i'm spending many hours doing something tedious, like sitting in class, or working my last job, i'll invariably create intricate and colorful designs which eventually wind up in drawers or in the trash. even though people think they're really cool looking.
I would love to have one of those... I'd frame it... I'd love to get a few mix CDs too... I used to doodle a lot, but never saved anything (and I don't recall getting any praise, but then, I doubt anybody ever saw my doodling... I was a closet doodler)...
20. i hate having my picture taken.
I love it when I am feeling good, feeling myself (not actually feeling myself in a voyeuristic sense, I mean when I am really in touch with me)... I despise seeing pictures of myself when I am in my current state (ambivalent, apathetic, and not taking care of the body I live in much, bloated)... I tend to instinctively close my eyes when a camera is pointed at me so rarely does anyone do it...
21. in bright light, people notice my eyes.
the trouble with being a mostly hermit who sees the same few people day in and day out is that nobody remarks about anything about me cuz we're all so used to each other... but then, considering #20, it's probably better this way...
22. the sun makes me sneeze.
sometimes happens to me too, especially when I lived up north... not so much lately...
23. i get migraines every once in a while.
I rarely get headaches, maybe a couple of times a year, or any sort of maladies, actually, which is amazing, I suppose, considering how I neglect my health mostly...
24. if i had my way, i'd be nocturnal.
I am nocturnal... I accept it and work night shift jobs... when I work any other shift I forget to sleep for way too long...
25. i'm content with my breast size.
so am I... actually, I would like mine to be a bit smaller, but yours are just right...
26. in recent years, the cold has bothered me a lot.
I spent half this life in NYC and other cold climate places and stay in Florida primarily because of the climate... I love tropical heat and thought about moving to Hawaii... you are welcome to come visit anytime when you want to warm up...
27. i don't tan easily. i almost never burn.
this used to be me until I spent so much time out of the sun that my pigments pooled and become whatever those dark dots are called and now I can burn badly, though I used to get very dark... I don't recall actually trying to get a tan since the early nineties when I cooked by the pool and danced all night for a few years...
28. tarot readers think i'm interesting. i avoid them for that reason.
me too, and while I don't particularly seek them out, though I don't avoid them...
29. i have seen five therapists in my life.
I was taken to a few as a little kid and they wondered why... I work with quasi-therapists now and worked as a 'Mental Hygiene Therapist' (that was the title) in New York for almost a decade and as a quasi-therapist in a few other places... we're all crazy...
30. four of them were impressed. i don't know why.
yes you do, you're a genius, a very deep and profound genius, and you don't want to be treated as a genius so you try to fool us all with your cuteness, but it only works for most people who only see your outer beauty... the doctors they took me to see as a kid were mostly speechless...
31. when i was twelve, my grandma sent me hate mail.
wow... there's a story to that... when I was fourteen the only grandma I ever knew died... she never yelled at me or raised a hand to me once... she was a special person... she was made of pure love, or so I'd like to remember...
32. i get weird stuff for free.
I used to when I was on a zillion mailing lists and the mail person needed a wheel barrel to get my mail to my house... I also published a couple of magazines and corresponded with hundreds of people and used to exchange tokens and memories and gifts regularly... I seldom get anything from anywhere anymore...
33. i like polishing silver.
shiney... I like shiney... polishing silver is not much of a hobby for me, though I like shiney things so if I had silver stuff these days I'd probably polish...
34. i have really soft skin, for no good reason.
oh no, there's a very good reason, but we don't have to get into that just now... hopefully one of these days you'll be sharing your skin again and... I am responding again, aren't I... well, at least I'm not fantasizing, I've got respect... sometimes... soft skin, me, yes... I have very soft skin... for no good reason...
35. i type at 85wpm. approximately.
I have not timed myself in a long time... I probably rattle the keys anywhere between 50 and 70 WPM... people think I type a lot faster because I type with two fingers and my hands move around a lot... I like the exercise...
36. i have a really lousy stalker. he has the wrong address.
at first I thought this might be me, but then, I'm such a lousy stalker I don't even qualify for the label stalker... I'm the amnesiac stalker, I forget who I am stalking with great proficiency... I'd be happy to try to improve my stalking skills for you... actually, most seriously, I've had a few stalkers along the way in life and on the internet... I sent Jehovah's Witnesses after them and they ran away... well, maybe not most seriously...
37. my mom worries a LOT. and i don't help.
your mom is cool... my adoptive parent people used to tell me they worried a lot when they wanted something from me, but they didn't actually act like it... they used to yell and judge me quite negatively every time I called because I wasn't living the life they wanted me to live so I stopped calling... hopefully they are still alive and enjoying their lives, though they don't seem to miss me...
38. i have done some amazingly stupid things in my short life.
me?... multiply by two and add a few, at least... sometimes it's fun, with the right person or people...
39. i tried cocaine once. that wasn't one of the amazingly stupid things. i knew i'd try it once, and i've never done it again. but i had the experience.
once upon a time I experimented (and lived with) most every drug available on the streets, including coke... there was a time when the coffee table in my apartment had a pound of cleaned pot and a few ounces of cut coke on silver platters like normal people might put out chocolate and mints... we had chocolate and mints too, of course... the only ones I miss sometimes are pot and LSD... that was a long time ago...
40. despite not being religious, i respect people with strong faith.
for me, it would depend what the faith is in... I don't have much respect for people who have strong faith in hypocrisy or lies or greed or fear-based concepts... I have a lot of respect for people who are consistent and have faith in themselves and goodness and life... I have unwavering faith in love and the energy that connects everything...
41. i periodically consider joining a convent.
me too... but I'd have to have a computer so I could ramble on and on in my babbling fantasies and literary madness...
42. i've had sex. but i've never made love.
both, making love is much better, though sex can be phenomenal... which is probably why I haven't joined a convent...
43. i believe there is someone or something waiting for me.
me too... always have... thought I found it a few times... false alarms... I hope I'm still breathing when it finds me... or I hope I find it before I stop breathing... whichever comes first, I hope I stop breathing last...
44. i have a wide and varied taste in music.
ditto... double ditto... of so dittily ditto... and I (extreme major understatement) miss music...
45. i'm fascinated by mythology.
I used to enjoy exploring mythology more than I do now... that may be because I see too many people living their lives in mythology today and would rather live in the here and now...
46. i'm in school as a communications major. i'll probably pursue a career in advertising.
Cutething Conquers Madison Avenue!... news at eleven... I took extra science credits just so I could say I can BS in Psychology... I started going for More S (an MS to PhD path), but decided I wanted to actually try to help people and all I was doing in school was playing games and stroking my own ego...
47. i like shoes. but i'm very particular about them.
my feet wear shoes and my feet are very particular about them, but both me and my feet prefer to go barefoot... I like feet... clean feet... cute feet... oh, there's that word cute again... massage, anyone?...
48. i used to chain smoke.
I smoked cigarettes for a couple of years in my teens, mostly when I drank alcohol, and decided it was hurting my mile times and stamina too much, so I stopped... I stopped smoking other things about ten years later...
49. i used to have an unnaturally high tolerance for hard liquor.
same here... it's a self-discipline mind over matter thing that impresses people, especially therapists...
50. i'm honest. as much as a person can be.
yes, this is true of me too... I suppose I've mentioned my reverence for honesty a few times along the way... without honesty, there's only pretense and nothing is real...
51. i love toffee.
not me, I prefer smooth melt-in-my-mouth chocolate... too much so of late...
52. i don't like milk chocolate. i much prefer dark semi-sweet, but i can't stand the waxy american chocolates.
I've learned to love waxy chocolate, Nestle's Crunch... but prefer not to indulge in the really cheap stuff... and I prefer milk chocolate to dark, but any chocolate has me drooling most of the time...
53. i don't have any cavities.
I have a few from little person times, but one dentist I went to when I was seventeen questioned the need for the drilling that a previous dentist did and I've not had a cavity, questioned or an unquestioned, since...
54. i don't think chivalry is dead. i think it's rare, and always has been.
agreed... I like the way you put this... I've been a knight and it was much fun and very rewarding... I've been a damsel in distress and it felt really stupid, especially when no knight ever came along...
55. when i was a kid, sometimes i'd wake up and find scratches all over my body. self-inflicted in my sleep.
ouch... until recently, like the last few years, I slept like the dead... flat on my back... people would wonder if I'd died and listen for my breath because I never moved... I'd sometimes wake up and find someone staring at me... they said I looked so peaceful and content... thanks for the attention people...
56. obstacles get on my nerves.
me too, especially when they are unnecessary (and there are so many in our culture, especially fear-based walls and complexities)... though with friends, obstacles can be fun challenges... I love challenges if friends are with me...
57. i'm very sarcastic. so much so, that i don't notice it until people point it out.
sometimes, me too, though my work keeps me very in touch with simple and direct statements that express what I think... I don't use that skill much in my diary... my sarcasm often takes the form of obvious understatements...
58. i love to laugh.
me too... I used to laugh a lot more and a lot deeper than I do these days... I miss sharing laughter on deeper levels...
59. i am many things, and those things often contradict.
again, me too... I perceive most everything as a dichotomy and would probably pass for bipolar and manic depressive if I was to be categorized psychologically, but that is because psychology, like most every field of study, does not really understand that everything is relative and anything is possible...
60. i am a cynical optimist.
ditto, again... very much so...
61. i've never considered myself idealistic, but i've been called idealistic many times.
I consider myself idealistic sometimes, deep down, but I've been called a cynic almost as many times as I've been called idealistic because people perceive what they want to perceive, usually...
62. when i was a kid, i wanted to change the world.
me too, I still do... I should start with myself...
63. i don't think i could deal with being a cop or a lawyer or a firefighter.
I never had any interest in those professions... though I have a great deal of respect for anyone who does any of them seriously well...
64. if i were so inclined, i could be an excellent criminal.
we've got to stop agreeing like this... or not, actually, that's one reason I like you, the agreements... good thing neither of us are so inclined...
65. while i pride myself on being honest, i am a fantastic bullshit artist.
and once again, same here... remember the BS...
66. i work well independently, and with others.
yes... mostly... I do not work well with lazy people or incompetents, especially not when they are supposed to be in charge...
67. i love indian food and beer.
I do not love beer, I love Indian food...
68. i sleep poorly when i am alone.
I sleep better when with someone, but I still sleep well alone... when I sleep... though I do not sleep nearly as deeply in recent times...
69. sixty nine holds no appeal for me.
I like the number, but as a sexual position it's not a favorite...
70. i have a tattoo.
no tattoos, no piercings, no appeal for either...
71. i'm not impressed or awed by lots of money.
same here... though it makes many things easier (and some things much more challenging)...
72. integrity and compassion impress me.
yes, again... very much yes... maybe most of all if we add honesty, but then, honesty is part of integrity... perhaps honesty is the ideal and integrity is honesty in action... and come to think of it, compassion is honesty of the heart in action... yes, I definitely love you more now...
73. i wear a ring on my left hand.
no rings, no jewelry... I used to have a chain with a chai on it, silver, in fact, and I polished it... I used to have a white gold blue sapphire ring... I loved those things because they were gifts...
74. i can't give a satisfactory explanation for why, but i've worn a ring there for years, and it rarely comes off.
can't?... dig deeper... I miss the people who gave me those things...
75. i like stuff having to do with the moon and stars.
me too... for so many reasons... the visuals, the theories, the superstitions, the fantasies, the potential...
76. i love technology and gadgets.
yes again... one of the things I miss about having money to burn is being able to go into stores and get the best latest toys...
77. i sleep with a laptop.
yup, since 1997, though it doesn't work much anymore... I'll have another before too long...
78. i often shock people.
from my perspective, people seem easily shocked... I seldom do it intentionally...
79. but they usually like it.
I'm not so sure about that for me...
80. i seem pretty intuitive.
yes... you do... and I think I am too when I want to be... I definitely do not always want to be...
81. i hate tofu and sushi.
not a fan of either here, though I've learned to tolerate tofu in hot and sour soup and certain other dishes... and I do enjoy some other soy-based foods... though I prefer rice milk to soy milk...
82. i crave independence.
it is all I've really ever known, though attempting to share a balanced partnership in life is wonderful...
83. i write letters to my future self.
I used to, and perhaps I still do though everyone else is welcome to read them...
84. i'm a sucker for big fluffy towels.
I love those... which leads me to realize more of what I've lost over the years... and comforters... I have not owned a comforter in almost a decade...
85. my cat thinks he's my shadow.
Happy Dog used to... she rarely needed a leash and followed me everwhere... I miss her a lot...
86. i think that sometimes, a coincidence is just a coincidence. no matter how many of them there are.
yup, and there sure are a whole lot of them here... I enjoy the connections...
87. i like rainy days.
me too, again... and I love storms...
88. it takes a lot to piss me off. i almost never lose control. when i do, i've been told i'm terrifying. all 5'4" and 120 lbs of me.
again, same here... intensity intimidates shallow people... honesty scares people who are not honest with themselves... that covers most people I've met...
89. i have a peculiar relationship with new york city.
as do I, having lived there from the time my eyes opened until... actually, one never really leaves the place once it's become part of them...
90. i find most first date conversation clich. my dates rarely appreciate my response.
unfortunately, I agree... I wish people would just admit their discomfort and insecurity right from the start so we can get to the laugh-about-it part and start some meaningful sharing...
91. i like kisses.
I love kisses... I miss kisses... kisses are one of the most precious things in the universe... I can lose myself in kissing, though I am very particular about who I kiss...
92. i do not suffer fools gladly.
I try to find fools amusing, unless they are in a position to harm me or someone else...
93. i love egg cheese and tomato croissant sandwiches.
with mayo?... I am very into condiments... I'm suddenly hungry...
94. boys who know how to play with a girl's hair are priceless.
I love hair, long beautiful hair, shining and gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen... shimmering, glimmering, oh the sensual pleasures of hair... dang hippie... and still loving every minute of it...
95. satisfied or jaded youth freak me out.
me too... I still don't think I am either, though I am both from time to time...
96. people have a tough time intimidating me. which in turn, intimidates them.
agreed, again...
97. i yearn for a physical embodiment of "home"
oh... so... yes...
98. i love pineapple.
second only to cherry in my fruit flavor group... and cherry pineapple is the juice of nirvana...
99. i hate sweet girly drinks.
I love sweet girly drinks... and they can keep the alcohol...
100. i like southern comfort, though.
it was my drink of choice once... including beers, I had at least a dozen different drinks of choice during my drinking years... brandy, rum, tequila, vodka, whiskey all had their turns... I was not a fan of the taste of any of them though, for that would be a betrayal of my sweet tooth which is the heart of my flavor center... I mean really, what four year old really likes the taste of any alcohol?...
101. i love good surprises.
well, hopefully this entry is a good surprise, or at least a good or a surprise, because one or the other is better than neither when it comes to things we love...

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fantasy sports?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays

talking dog


and if you want to leave
take good care
hope you make a lot
of true friends out there