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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-03-09 - 10:57 a.m.

let's just face it, I'm a pervert


please don't ask me to keep in step,
it's hard enough to stay in line

they didn't like that T-shirt when I wore it off duty back in basic training, but hey, that's me, always ready to challenge the sense of humor of anyone, anywhere, with almost anything harmless (especially with ideas or different perspectives)...

if you want in on blogmad, just ask - I've got invites

I realize that most of you are coming from BlogMad! (thanks for stopping by... my stats are going nuts) or google searches (and you still haven't found what you're looking for) so I may as well tell you right up front that I babble... ramble... write a lot... but not just write a lot, I meander and free associate and sometimes, make no sense to anyone but me...

ok, more than sometimes...

so if you love words and wordplay and wondering what in the heck the writer meant... if you like having your head played with by someone who means no harm, but who finds amusement in writing from unexpected perspectives... if you like wondering if the writer has gone mad (or just how mad the writer has gone...

then you've come to the right place...

if you're looking for brevity, concise concepts, crystal clarity, or some sort of specific themes, you probably won't like it here... but check the links on the left (some are my sites or entries) before you go because I just might have great taste in other sites even though I don't seem to show it here in my ramblings all the time...

oh,m and grammatical conventions?... forget it, I pay no attention to the strunk and white behind the curtain (the wizard of ooze has spoken), nor do I employ a spellchecker or make much attempt to review or edit much (and I tend to be redundant for effect, humorous or not, or for no particular reason)...

and typos are fun...

and I frequently add something to an entry after it is uploaded and still don't edit or correct or do much with the words already there... sometimes... so anyway, welcome warmly and profusely and hope you enjoy your stay... if you stay... hope you do...

and I've been too busy at work the past two nights to ramble on (I could say dang job, how dare they expect work to be done, but actually I'm doing a few other people's work simply because I know they are managers and don't know how to work and the hospital needs what I am doing done and hopefully management will not do what they usually do, which is twiddle their thumbs and delay deciding everything until they are forced into decisions by outside auditors which isn't nearly as amusing as saying something like how dare they expect work, so never mind)...

meanwhile, this entry started one morning after coming home from work and nodding off in front of the television and just kind of happened without much input from my consciousness (and maybe too much from a lonely libido with a memory that doesn't quit) so I won't promise any sort of meaningful journey (or cohesive thought), but since that isn't what you really came here for, it's all good...

sometimes I'm serious
and sometimes I'm silly
and sometimes I'm not sure just which

but maybe you don't
always want to be told
and if you do well ain't that a
boring way to go through life?

the following events happened just the way they are told... only the names have been changes to protect the innocent... and the guilty too... remember Nicole Eggert from Charles in Charge days?... she was such a sweet kid... what happened?...

I mention her because What Lies Above just came on the TV... never heard of it, but she's in it... she's still got a very cute lower back... and what lies below too... she just got proposed to on the top of a mountain... something tells me this is not going to work out too well...

so anyway, the following events, snips and comments, and whatever, happened just the way they are told... only the facts have been changed to make it more interesting... and the clothing too... remember Kristy McNichols from Family days?...

I mention her for no apparent reason except for the fact that I had a crush on her and seeing Nicole Eggert reminded me... whatever happened to her?... something tells me this entry is going to meander a bit...

yeah, well, the movie just got spooky...

but that's just the distraction from the entry in progress, which is full of following events, blips and blurbs, and illusions, that happened just as they were told... only the words have been changed to make it seem more mysterious... and the position of the bodies too... remember Natalie Wood in Miracle on 34th Street days?... she may have been my first film crush... that's why I mentioned her... something tells me nothing...

I find such amusement in babbling and that's why I do it... sure I love responses (crave attention and praise and adoration and love and dream of friends and a soul mate finding me through the words I send out into the ether), but even if I was the only living being left in the universe, I'd be babbling away most of my days... it's my own personal video game... my drug of choice... my fun for nothing...

and so of course putting both legs behind your head got my attention (trying to stop my imagination from visualizing isn't easy), and the fact that I love being on the bottom, but I don't like my nipples bitten, so it probably won't work out (hello, do I know you?... please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man who doesn't give a, well, I am relatively indifferent and quite irreverent and if you laugh then great and it you don't then oh well, maybe we weren't meant to enjoy a few moments of words)... I love your supernatural power and have no interest in politics or religions (but I can fool myself into believing I still have a social conscience sometimes)... I relate to Depp's odd film roles a lot, because I am odd too... I adore rainbows, love them too... and dream dreams most people laugh at, like pots of gold and true love and happily ever after and peace of Earth and all that... imagination is reality in my world... blue rocks (so does chocolate, which is well worth a tongue ring...

now that could have gotten juicy if I was not such an irreverent pervert... and chocoholic, which is the difference between me and Jeffrey Dahmer... well, one of them, anyway... what can I say, I am addicted to teasing and pushing the limits of decorum, good taste, and that last bit was a comment left in response to bluperspex's 101 Things and I suppose I should apologize for being so lazy (you thought maybe it was something else?) about responding to a 101 Things so briefly, but then, briefs are good too...

meanwhile, back at the point I was almost making, these events, preceding and following, happened just as they are occurring... only the readers have been changed to protect your sanity... and the fava beans... remember Mila Kunis from the That Seventies Show days?... wait, that isn't actually going back too far for a crush, now is it?...

so there I was, skimming through channels on the TV, before the Nicole Eggert movie which lead to the opening of this entry that somehow just called out for the comment to be inserted, even though it was written a bit earlier, and came across a movie (while skimming through channels on the TV, remember?) with Alicia Silverstone (remember Alicia Silverstone from, ummm, the Mickey Mouse Club days?), who appeals to me in a perverse sort of way, and I see the description says adult situations and strong sexual content, so I switch back and forth between Green Acres on TVLand and this film, True Crime...

of course I was hoping to see the strong sexual content involving Alicia, but then, I read somewhere that she never did nude scenes and always had a body (or booty) double in the few films that showed her body... of course I don't want to believe what I read, so I kept switching off the classy TVLand shows like The Munsters and Dick Van Dyke in the hope of catching some strong Alicia sexual content...

but geesh, this was one bad movie...

I remember that I enjoyed Blast From The Past and Clueless once upon a time... maybe these are drug assisted memories... there's also this movie where she plays a teenager who seduces the guy renting the room over the garage, I think... I admit it, I found her hot... but in one fell swoop she erased all of my strong sexual content fantasies about her with this film... she doesn't seem to be too good at choosing films, not like, say, Johnny Depp who, in my seldom humble but occasionally modest opinion, is a genius at choosing roles...

I think maybe it's time to watch Meg Ryan In The Cut again... I mean, that movie pretty much stunk too, but she sure did take us one step beyond the When Harry met Sally diner scene in that one...

I also belong to the cult of Wild Things...

and speaking of wild things, Alex has the most amazing eyes... two of them, actually... but I've fawned over her physical beauty more than enough in the past (except perhaps for her) and shall discuss her future with the company, errr, her other assets now...

remember June Allison in her White Christmas days?... I really had a crush on her, but that's besides the point mostly to distract you from the fact that I forgot to change all of the names so the innocent may not be as protected as they might have been had I remembered to change all the names... and the pistachio nuts...

besides rewriting the bible and writing new fiction (which may or may not be redundant), our girl Alex keeps busy bringing us the news, forming a local band of superheroes, and talking with god (though God's telephone service has been temporarily disconnected at this time, we should not read that as any sort of condemnation for rewriting the bible cuz god wouldn't do that... though she might)...

I love the way she places her tongue in her cheek as she writes... other visuals of her tongue are equally loved, but this is the chaste portion of this entry, so continuing right along, additionally, Alex is continuing her intimate and seductive personal diary where cute meets snark and subtle intellectualism meets ridiculous distractions and if you are not amused and enlightened, then you are reading with your eyes closed...

saving our lust for hairplay's creativity and cuteness for another episode of the pervert's prowlings, we drool intellectually as Alex's creative talents do not stop at words as her web designs and photography demonstrates (she's also learning some really neat stuff and I expect she'll keep adding to what she knows and adding to her online portfolio in her every waking moment (or whenever, especially when she has time... I don't think her brain ever actually sleeps as it keeps coming up with clever ideas about, well, everything)... one read of her resume will inspire you to not simply want to hire her, but adopt her (ok, maybe I'm a little bias, but maybe not)...

cutething.net... it's not just a website, it's a rainbow...

and in closing for today (or at least maybe this entry is starting to conclude, not that we ever reach much of a conclusion around here), I shall shift gears as I am apt to do and let you imagine that I am not real pervert, but a playful tease with a heart of gold and purely platonic devotion to those who inspire me out here on the net... anything's possible, after all... and since you're not here to look me in the eye and see what might be real and what might be play and who I really am, well, it's fun to leave you wondering...

or maybe you really do know...

it's a perspective
it's a look in the eyes
it's a literary feeling
but is it a disguise?

it's the thought of the moment
reaching for the end of time
it's a feeling of loving
and laughing and knowing
no harm is intended
as I have fun in rhyme

everything's relative
it's a cosmic dance
it's what we've got to give
it's taking a chance

it's the trust of the moment
reaching for a friendly hand
it's a feeling of being inspired
of being high of being wired
and nothing is planned
hoping you understand

thanks for the fun
thanks for the thoughts that tickles my mind
thanks for the inspiration
to feel the feeling that is most kind

thanks for the look
thanks for the feeling that warms my heart
thanks for the beauty you are
you remind me that life is art

and I do not want to pretend I'm in love with you
if I really am
I'm real as I can be
the moment you take my hand
do you understand?

it's a perspective
it's a look in the eyes
it's a literary feeling
but is it a disguise?

it's the thought of the moment
reaching for the end of time
it's a feeling of loving
and laughing and knowing
no harm is intended
as I have fun in rhyme

yeah, repeat some more...

maybe my perspective in life and everything comes from being so alone and alien and different and separate from others... being an orphan, adopted into conformity and refusing to conform therein being an unacceptable disappointment, and being happy with myself and comfortable as I am even though life's been a lonely ride...

maybe I am lucky I never had real family other than distant adopted family cuz I never experienced this sort of loss... I wish there was an easy simple resolution to accepting death but I don't know one that works for anyone except me (and that may be because I never believed anything in this physical life was permanent because of my experiences)...

still, my losses have been profound because invested everything I was, owned, and believed in and most important of all, trust, and all was taken and I was left for dead, but I am still breathing and hoping all I was and believed was (and is being) rebuilt and I can still trust as I've always done (it's not exactly something I can test on my own)...

I read back as far as I could before the computer started choking on the graphics and audio and I loved the mind behind the site... I saved images and sounds and realized I had been in his world before, via other sites, including his wife and adorable family... and all the other sites I visited over the years (very limited due to graphics) like theyknew (political, but interesting when I am in the mood to know what's going on in government)...

speaking of politics, did you know that Diaryland is hosting Saddam's diary?...

oh, what?... you expected maybe that I'd close on a sweet sentimental note?... remember, the one thing you can be sure of here is to expect the unexpected and then, I will forget that rule too cuz I don't follow rules much, except honesty without harm... so, well, I love you cuz loving you is the best feeling I know and I like feeling the best feeling I can feel (altruism and unconditional love is all very selfish, really)... yeah, I love you and I'd like to know you and if you know me you know that's the truest truth of all...

love life today J






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