LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


JOIN OR RE-REGISTER NOW

welcome blogmadians... and the rest of you, while still in beta, you can still join the latest greatest party on the web, blogmad!

SUPPORT BLOGMAD! BUY STUFF



o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-08-04 - 8:31 a.m.

waiting


I just heard John Mayer's Waiting on the World to Change for the first time and while I did not catch every word, I caught enough to call it a potential classic like Marvin Gaye's What's Going On, maybe... but then, did Dylan's Blowing in the Wind or Buffalo Springfield's For What It's Worth have any real lasting effect on the population?... it did on me, but then, Harry Chapin was my musical hero, so I left words in deep when I listen to music... how about you?...

and suddenly Amanda Williams' Children in the Garden comes to mind...

of course it could just be a mood... ever notice how something is profound or amazing when you are in one mood and how you can wonder just what you were thinking about when you declared something profound or amazing at some later time when you are in another mood?... or sometimes it's the person or people sharing the experience... like Harry said, it's funny how a city can put on a different face, when it holds someone you care for it becomes a different place...

meanwhile I sit here munching on a Ding Dong waiting for myself to pick myself up and take myself seriously again... wake up and put down the coffee... and the donut, step away from the donut sir... ah, self-mockery is the fool's delight (and I've been a seriously profound fool for a while now, aye?...

and there I was just last night (relatively speaking) feeling so good as the body was waking and muscles were tightening and moving to the music amidst a crowd of almost two thousand people and hunger for the snacks was a thing of the past (last night) and here I am just over twenty four hours later and the night shift habit of snacking and long work hours where I don't want to get sweaty take me back to the sedentary life...

and coffee... we are such a self-drugged species... but worse, so many hypocrites condemn kids experimenting with something like pot and feel so above people who take illegal drug, but it's perfectly acceptable (and even expected) that they down a six pack (or case) of beer each weekend (or more often, or harder alcohol) and smoke a pack or few a day and the 16 ounce shot of coffee is a physical demand before many can function through their day... it's just like some people consider beating children (or wives) the right thing to do and some thing it's not right to hit kids, some drugs are ok and right to take and some are not... if the people in power, the government and drug companies, were producing marijuana or hash cigarettes and cocaine soft drinks, it would be just fine to do those drugs too...

and I am worse when I give up my Vegan healthy ways because I know better and I know how good I feel when I live Vegan healthy ways (or at least less unhealthy ways) whereas most people don't even realize it is a possibility for them because they never tried...

and once again I wonder just how long I'll let this go on before I wake up and remember I can do as I wish and even though this hospital has no facilities for staff to work out or shower (it really is the most unhealthy hospital environment I've ever worked in on every level), I can figure out a way to work out for an hour or few every night right here on the job and I am a true moron for not taking advantage of that opportunity... and waiting for a partner is just a cheap excuse to avoid the laziness and wallowing that is truly behind the lethargy...

this is a very old song...

meanwhile, the brain craves intellectual and creative stimulation (even after all this time of vegetation)... sometimes I think it is simply a matter of upbringing or conditioning as spending all of my childhood years in the wilds of New York City and soaking in as much of the stimulation as I could come in contact with has simply spoiled me and anywhere else seems to have way too much down time and nobody who seems to understand that my manic mind is not a case of ADD (I can concentrate on minutia for days when I want to), but just operating at a neuron firing rate much more accelerated than the TV watching masses...

yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it...

stand up comics might understand what I mean as there are probably less than a thousand of them per million (or maybe per hundred million) people... and then there are the rest of the crazies who see the world and everything from a perspective that starts out several standard deviations from the norm... I am proud to be one and will happily accept being farther from the norm than anyone if nobody wants to be so labeled because it's more fun out here... lonely, yes, but it's an honest loneliness born of actually thinking and perceiving differently rather than a loneliness born of the insecurity and self-pity that comes from wanting to be unique but being afraid to be anything too different for fear of not fitting in, not belonging, not being accepted...

I've got the dichotomy going wherein I have no interest in simply belonging or being accepted when it might mean compromising who I am or what I believe in... I am wide open to learning and expanding my perspective, but am secure and satisfied with my ideals and beliefs and if that ostracizes me in some ways from the norms, oh well, that's not changing what I believe in or feel is right... so ultimately, if I never find another partner who shares similar enough perspectives, I'm perfectly happy with me alone...

but wanting to share a partnership (wanting to do that so much), life would be fuller if I could find a partner (cuz it would sure be nice to let someone else drive so I could relax completely and focus all of my energy on looking around at the world once in a while)... life, like driving in a car, is such a different experience from the passengers seat... some people spend a lifetime experiencing life from there and miss out on driving... I am just looking for a happy balance (cuz I love to drive {physically and metaphorically} and wouldn't want to give it up completely)...

so I sit here rambling on in my own fool's errand way of crying out (like Roy Orbison or Jay Black {from Jay and the Americans}, ya know?) for the one person (or a few) who truly understand that to really know where I am coming from you need to climb up on my back and walk around in my shoes for a while to experience life as I experience it and listen to all the nuances and voices in my head without prejudice or selfishness interfering... and who can do that?... who even wants to?... and would you want me riding around in your knapsack for a few weeks?...

perhaps you'd prefer me in your pocket?...

too close for some, perhaps, but all metaphoric closeness aside, I firmly believe the joined-at-the-hip bonding experience should be tried by anyone interested in taking a relationship seriously before any formal (or legal) bonding ceremony or promises are even considered... I think that would lower the ridiculously high divorce rate and lead to much healthier relationships, but I wonder sometimes if the family values people really want that (healthy, or even honest relationships)... or logic...

on a completely unrelated (if anything is actually completed unrelated to anything else) matter, I've succeeded in neglecting my fantasy sports leagues for another two weeks, at least, which means I actually looked in and set my teams once in the entire month of July and much like last year, I will probably look in and realize I could have done a lot better if I spent more time there, but I'll be satisfied winning a league or few... there is just not enough time to do a daily check and line-up setting as there are things to do higher on my list of priorities that don't get enough time...

I'll be fine as soon as we figure out how to slow the planet down to a 42-hour rotation...

and now we come to the close of this entry... there is a bit more time left here at work, but unfortunately, the last hour here at work is busy with unnecessary noise as our excellent cleaner arrives and seems to not notice the quiet sleeping environment we are trying to maintain as she hustles through her cleaning (often complaining about how nobody picks up after themselves, which is true, but then, it doesn't help the kids sleep to hear it and we're supposed to be here primarily for the kids schedules, not for our own... and it doesn't matter how many times it's said, when the person in charge is by far the loudest of all, the daily reminders just don't break the habit of talking loud for a group of loud talkers...

so whether you are waiting for Godot or not waiting for anything, dance as if no one is watching (unless you enjoy an audience) and make the most of your time... and if you know someone who seems something like the person you are reading (crazy, but harmless), please make some introductions (my number and address are on this page)...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
Blogarama
Globe of Blogs
blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




~ BLOGROLLING ~
(Blogroll RSS)


Blogroll Me!

published
blogadvance
blogazoo
blogexplosion
blogmad?
bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






SAY HELLO
407-325-1482





and if you want to leave
take good care
hope you make a lot
of true friends out there