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2009-01-06 - 2:29 a.m. tapping the rainbow the entries start flowing again and the words pile up (or line up like impatient debutantes), waiting for the upload button to be pushed for them, and so many pass into the archives unnoticed... such is the life of the babbler in the written world... unless, of course, he/she finds a way to channel the bable into a commercially viable format like monty python or douglas adams... perhaps you need a british passport, or accept, at least...
maybe, like i say in another recent entry, all the pondering comes from the fact that some days i wake up lonelier than others... i don�t want to settle for someone who doesn�t turn me on it�s not all about me but i wouldn�t want someone to settle for this either life�s too short to settle for less when too soon we are gone but i stay alone� because i want no part of the illusion that only leads to confusion the pretense that we are a perfect fit i am alone because relationships are so seldom real it can take years to know how someone feels people lie and i want no part of it i know that in most cases the person is lying to his or herself a self-fooled participant in proper etiquette i seek someone not afraid to be honest on an open shelf but i have not found this person yet so i stay alone� maybe there�s more, to be a song, there�s more, and maybe i�ll write it someday� so many rhymes and entries remain unfinished, as i leave as many decisions about myself and life undecided cuz i want to share the creation of a mutual-being, two becoming one, in a relationship� and most probably think i�m just flakey :)
i force myself to remember how i want life and love (and her) to be there are just too many people alive not to be a closer match, you see i want to want her as much as she wants me so settled into my beliefs and ways and dream am i that i accept the lonely wait as life, unwilling to chance my routine of hoping for the one, unwilling to give up my blind faith in love, unwilling to move on to a looser, easier, less compatible standards because i am so settled in knowing what i want� so in this way, i am a stick in the mud� a stick in the mud of love (somebody grab a cr�me pie)� nite nite :)
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