the sad thing is that this entry was about twice as long as it is because i elaborated and inserted all sorts of amusements and asides and pure genius and then, ms bs happened and the typing was lost� so get over it and continue with the remnants of the brilliance in the dark� and then, fall asleep in mid-sentence and wake to watch everything erased again and waste time and go mad and find the one behind the walls of the madhouse�

meanwhile, there are still some wonderful people in this world and i am lucky to be finding a few� of course perception is easily skewed when emotions are involved� we always think better of that which we like� which leads me to i wonder if these slide show photos would have inspired laughter if i didn�t know how much fun the person taking the photos was (and was having)� be a dolphin� whatever you think, some people simply have adorable minds�

but then, you just don�t wanna go start predicting human beings cuz they are all different and they even act differently, sometimes� but they can be manipulated persuaded to be kind of nice every now and then� maybe this will explain it more succinctly, or, for even more babbling with your explanation, you know RealTime� will provide the necessary blunt instruments, but then again, maybe i ought just do the �splaining right here, being that this is an entry right here and all� you see (or there is a fair chance you might see, eventually, if i ever get around to explaining what i am not quite yet talking about)� i forgot all about paying rent this month and instead of calling me and reminding me, i found a very harsh formal legal three day notice on the door with a late fee penalty�

the nerve, aye?�

so i did what any self respecting madman would do, i burned down the clubhouse and ate the charred bones of management� what?... i should have burned it down at night when nobody was in there?... what would i do for dinner then?... after staring blankly at you for a moment of shocking wonder, i continue�

naaaa, not really, i�m just kidding (written with such a straight face)� i wouldn�t burn down the gym� at least not while i still lived here and wanted to use it (oooo, so evil today, aye?... could be my true colors coming out, maybe� well, what can i say, they got my dander in a frizz, my flabber in a tizzy, my wibblewobble was completed gasted, he says as he giggles)� so i decided to make amends and be all sorts of responsible and i went down to put a check in their drop box (dressed in gym clothes cuz i finally decided to go to the gym on a work night again as retribution for my sins, real and imaginary) and what do i find if not a bold cold unrolled told-off laminated message blocking the drop box entry flap that was there just to inform me that my rent was late and that�s not all� it went on to tell me that my check was no longer an acceptable form of payment, that i had too run around and find a cashier�s check or money order (and, of course, there was the small print that mentioned the 10% penalty)�

needless to say, i stuffed my hair up under my hat and would have went in to ask them why, but they were closed, so i stuffed my check up into their box and walked over to the gym to burn off some calories and amused frustration and what do my eyes see there at the gym but (yes, much but, i mean, serious but, the kind of but that makes one wonder how anyone in a gym can have such a but, i mean, how it even got through the door is a puzzle, but every machine i might want to use (which is many) was busy with big buts moving in slow motion pretending to exercise� so i gasped in angst, shock, awe, and frustration (i don�t think they noticed much) and came back upstairs and cooked meat, yeah, animal flesh, and then, i ate the meat� of course it�d is altogether possible that have been better off beating the meat (certainly the meat would have been better off), but eat i did� and then, burning with the frustration (as only i can do cuz i find myself so amusing when i am frustrated that i start laughing and that makes it very challenging to stay frustrated, but anyway) that only comes from people who are paid to �take care of you� but who, under the sheep�s clothes, turn out to be actually �taking you� as in to the cleaners or for all you�ve got� humans are so like that�

and so i expressed my frustration as i express most everything, in a bit of babble directed at the management people with the ultimate goal of talking them out of the extra $81 they wanted to charge, but also to amuse myself and mock them without really being too impolite and playing that ever so politically correct game of customer service courtesy in reverse, i so took my rage and spewed it at them thusly:

Hello neighbors 

Well, I did forget what day it was, now didn�t I?... and now you have a choice 

I hope you enjoyed your holidays and this new year starts off much better than mine has so far (nothing horrible, just an enormous workload and this forgetfulness, for which I apologize).

While I really think the neighborly thing would have been to pick up the phone and remind me, I understand it is business. All the �welcome home� and �friendly neighbor� appeal can be a let down when we realize that we�re not really neighbors and all the friendliness is mostly for sales. You make money by not reminding me. The American Dream is not free, after all.

My challenge is that I am conditioned to pay all of my bills electronically. The checks I�ve written to Cypress Lakes are the first checks I�ve written in many years. I spent four hours looking for the checkbook the first month. It is my responsibility to change my habits, I know, but I do wish you would consider providing the courtesy and convenience of some form of electronic payment. That way the funds would be in your account as soon as possible.

You still do have a choice though.

You could say there are no waivers and no exceptions and make me jump through hoops running out to find a place to buy a money order, as I have at least twelve hour days ahead at work until I catch up at the hospital (Holidays or not, kids still get sick).

You could deduct $81 from the from the enclosed check and remind me how unhappy I was the first month I moved in due to roaches (that cost me $100 to get rid of) and several other major disappointments in a place at this rent.

You could send me a notice of eviction if I do not find a way to find a money order for the full amount you want in the time allotted, even though I am willing to electronically transfer rent in advance, given the opportunity.

You could, because it�s good for business in a down economy, to keep a new customer happy, accept this enclosed second check (I dropped one in your box on the way home tonight) as February�s rent in advance, waive the late fee, and caution me that it is a one time exception.

Life is about opportunities. Some you can offer and this is one. I am hoping you take the opportunity to make me feel like I am welcome and at home in the apartment I rent from you. Then maybe a positive feeling about Cypress Lake will be passed along in my professional and social encounters and there won�t be as many empty apartments here.

Please let me know what your choice is and I appreciate you considering my thoughts. You can call me at the number you have for me, 407-325-1482, or leave me a note on my door and I�ll read it when I get home tomorrow night.

Whatever you decide to do, I mean, even if you don�t put a smile on my face when I get home tonight, I really do hope you enjoy your day :)

i mean, i easily could have just burned the place down and ate their bones, but then i�d have to pay for a gym somewhere until they rebuilt the place and besides, the writing was much more fun� and i could have vented and added the list of other things i do not like about the place, but i;m no complainer, no, not me:

1. the only-for-show clubhouse and business center hours 2. the extremely awkwardly placed light switches 3. the annoyingly inconveniently placed smoke alarms 4. the expensive and very inadequate lighting 5. the minimal kitchen counters 6. the dog feces on the sidewalks 7. the monopolizing utility company that prevents me from using the phone, internet, and cable services I prefer (and have been with for more than a decade)

but i wouldn�t want to rub it in�

i�ll save all that for the newspaper article� of course if they choose to be the enemy as so many property managers do, at least around here, that is, if they deliberately cost me money when they could save me money, then at least i know they cannot be trusted and i shall treat them accordingly and have the best reason of all to not renew the lease� but first, i�ll hope they get the message above, smile, and look out for the people� yeah, man, power to the people, right on�

meanwhile, who ever told katharine mcphee she was an r&b singer and in spite of her talent, why would she turn out just another mediocre same-as-everybody-else r&b cd?... disappointed is just an understatement� she completely sold out in the music, the packaging, the whole thing... if she couldn�t get decent song writers, she should have done covers of classics or some more sophisticated music instead of the simplistic drum machine r&b packed whiney emo crap that every other girl singer is doing� i thought she had some talent, but she�s drowning it in the fast-food processed sounds she or somebody chose for her� and she�s trying way too hard to look sexy in the photos� alas, what a waste�

there was a lot more to this entry once, but i nodded off and somehow erased it and the auto-save option seems to be not working or non-existent in word 2003� i miss word 2007� i thought there was an auto-save feature (not just an auto-recovery feature)� i must be losing my mind again� i must be getting tired� i must be something� i did get back to the gym after all though, by the way, and on a work night no less� this is a good sign of life and there i watched some bowl game while waking this body up a little more� and where is the partner to appreciate all this? (whatever this might be referring to at this point, or this point, for that matter)...ah, missing out� yeah, what-evah :)

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)

see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


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