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(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

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PO BOX 780398
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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-04-28 - 9:44 a.m.

slice of work


what's today?... middle of the week, sometime, I think... yesterday was a blur (and a blurry entry for yesterday very well could follow this one, maybe tomorrow, but one never knows as time bends to the will of the writer (I am definitely influenced by Stephen King's Dark Tower series these days as book five, Wolves of the Calla has arrived and I am devouring it (slowly, take your time, dear reader) the last two nights at work... unfortunately, I must attend some daytime meetings and trainings so I am struggling to stay alert (though the LPN is up to her power trips again, which raises everybody's blood pressure... insecure and immature people who live on pretenses and negativity just do not handle positivity well, but I'll just be me and I'll keep trying to provoke an argument I suppose) and reading is a great sleep inducer when I am tired, so tonight and tomorrow night may be more challenging... but I shall enjoy the slow read all the more...

meanwhile, in case you are interested in the work-related nonsense in the parentheses above, I shall vent a bit and therein provide some details... for the past half a year or so the LPN (who, I'm reluctantly concluding, is is a negative energy vortex that demands that everyone around her feed her all the attention in the space) has been trying to subvert my relationships with my co-workers and encourage me to transfer off the unit... she apparently doesn't like me, but is a master at two-faced smiles and social pretense, so she fools some people, mostly those who do not work directly with her or younger, more impressionable staff... others see through it and laugh at her... she probably does not like the fact that I see through it and work directly on the unit each night... for the last three months, a day or two before the monthly meeting with the manager, she has set up a confrontation and presented the confrontation as an on-going problem to our manager... she tried it again last night (the next manager's meeting is tomorrow)...

LPN: I want the process to change, do it my way.
US: why?
LPN: because I want it this way.
US: what is wrong with the way we are doing it?
LPN: I am not going to argue with you.
US: we don't want to argue, we just want to know what is wrong with the way we are doing it, since it has worked well for years and your way will not work as well.
LPN: if you have a problem doing it my way, I have no problem writing you up.
US: will you answer our question?
LPN (walking away): I am not arguing with you.
US: if you won't answer a question, will you address the fact that your way violates hospital policy?
LPN: (no response, she's walked away)


this was directed to everyone, but specifically about a task I do every night... she has been trying this sort of provocative arbitrary inference that I am doing something wrong since she arrived, but every time she is confronted by our manager, she can not give a specific example of what she complaining about and it comes down to generalizations about attitude... when I suggest to her and the manager that she appears to be projecting her own negativity she becomes frustrated and storms off with veiled threats like "keep it up" and "I'll just have to do what I have to do"... when I suggest she is power tripping and nit picking over minutia and making arbitrary changes to tasks I perform and ignoring transgressions she and others do daily, which points to a personal harrassment that is not professional, she becomes even more flustered and angrier... when I ask her what her problem is, she say she doesn't want to argue... so I suggest that she stop stirring the pot and trying to provoke me with her petty power trips... she has suggested I transfer off the unit several times since she was dumped on us...

ya see, she was forced to accept a transfer to night shift to our unit because they did not want her on the day shift on her old unit... for one thing, she is grossly obese (must be at least 500 pounds) and did not get out of her chair enough to work day shift... she sends staff on errands to get her food and snacks and expects everyone to cater to her... she might not like the fact that I know this and while I am polite, I do not treat her like she is queen for a day... and then, I am friendly with the staff she considers her enemies and staff she is frequently badmouthing behind their backs... add that she is apparently a control freak and did not like the fact that I had been on the unit for almost three years before she arrived and had set up most of the systems the night shift uses and trained more than half the night staff in the hospital... she does not seem to like someone else knowing more than she does, so I suppose, in her mind, I had to go... as I said, over the last six months she's tried subverting my peers, setting me up with distortions to our manager, and provoking me and spreading rumours and out and out lying and at first I was perturbed because my two primary co-workers who are young girls easily influenced bought into her games and last month I told my manager I wanted a transfer and she and my peers talked me out of it (which is better for me, since I am better off not transferring to another unit)... my peers are not buying into her manipulations anymore and so she is trying different tactics...

what matters most is last month my manager gave me a glowing evaluation which translated into a maximum pay increase (laughable amount, but maximum is better than less than maximum) so the powers that be are still aware and documenting my worth to the organization... if nothing else, the LPN keeps the night shift interesting with her weak attempts to manipulate and provoke...

meanwhile, dancing away from typical human negativity, life continues to be missing the partner (and therein less shiney and bubbly than it could be), but still more fun than anything else I can remember doing... life, I mean... within this life I have had more emotionally fulfilling periods and definitely more socially interactive periods, but the basic fun of waking and breathing and experiencing the senses in this physical world remains relatively constant on the inside... and the body is waking, gradually, now that I am working out just about daily... I wonder what I'm gonna do with it once I wake it up enough to actually want to do something...

ah, that's better (the irreverence returns... 'tis amazing how much energy can be sucked out of a person by dealing with humans and their self-created problems)... I have cooled down from my workout enough and it is time to get some food in this body and shower and get back to work (not necessarily in that order) cuz today is a four hour refresher course in first aide for hospital workers (having been an army EMT/paramedic the rudimentary details are boring, but it's a requirement for the job so I'll go and do my best not to fall asleep since the instructor is a good person and work-friend (I expect he'll only have to wake me a few times... it is the middle of the night for me, after all... and they want me to do this three days in a row... the wisdom of absentee management permeates the place, but it's a paycheck and I've been in worse systems... well, maybe... at least we can share laughs about it)...

so how was your day (or night, as the case may be)?






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