LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-04-26 - 9:08 a.m.

just a moment


it's going to my head, I can feel it... in just a moment... and it feels so dang good (please pardon my grin, it's a harmless madness, truly)... you are inspiring me to believe in humanity (why?... a cynical voice asks) because you... because you... because you care? (oh, how fragile yon ego seems, could it be such a fool as this pulls the levers and turns the wheels behind the curtain?)... go write something mushy in candora (the writer self-berates with tongue at least partially in cheek, this is the real life in black and white, after all... and it sucks as much as it is beautiful (a beautiful suck?... don't we all wish, but that's not meant to be funny even though I'd be rolling on the floor given half a chuckle out of you... if only you were here, huh?)... you beautiful wonderful attentive people... you did this... and when my heart swallows my ego and my head explodes, it'll be all over you...

why?... I keep hearing why?... this nagging doubt deep inside that calls from beneath my covers... in just a moment memories rise to blacken the sky and haunting silence calls from the darkness... abandoned by all lovers... lost all friends... betrayed by my own trust, how can I ever trust again?... and here you are, you beautiful people, giving me encouragement and telling me you find positivity in my words (that is what you said, right?) when there is a voice still sitting back and repeating absurd, it is all absurd... this life in black and white is laced with fear that I might be nothing more than tainted meat and yet, you see something worth while in these words I write... what if you're right?...

and all the doubts are wrong?... heck, that's a cue for a beautiful love song (in just a moment everything is reborn... I can't help it, I was raised on Dr. Seuss... or Suess... and rhymes are on the loose... it's just the way I think... I think in rhyme and feel in meldoy and hope to find some peaceful harmony... harmless harmony is my dream to be shared by everyone in reality and if it remains just a fantasy then that's where I'll live (wanna live with me?)...

what?... get serious?... I'd buy a big house where we all could live... name that tune (even though I paraphrased... come on, it gets plenty of airplay even today on soft rock stations)... I don't have much money, but boy if I did... yeah... I would too, I'm just that crazy enough... only this time I would hire someone who's sole job is to make sure I don't give it all away (cuz I've been giving it all away everyday)... yeah... I'm getting too old for this starting over from scratch again... especially all alone... oh no, don't get me into my bag of lonely songs...

go see candora, I mean from the start and maybe you'll get an idea of where I live (it's a beautiful place, inside my head... they can beat me, ridicule me, betray me, torture me, abuse me in any way they can imagine, lock me up and throw away the key and they can't touch the wonderland inside my head... it's so much fun to be secure, even if it's crazy, for sure)... or you might find me amongst the funda, a strange species of beings from who knows where who came to Earth for who knows why and do who knows what to who knows whom (and we're still not quite sure how, but they did leave their number)... beginnings, remember, everything starts at the beginning... except, of course, this rambling slice of life diary which is as close to my almost original journal as I maintain today... that phase seemed to undergo mitosis (or was it miosis) and become several more (and still others not listed there)...

understand?

there is a main gate, you know... and a back door for more personal entry into my head... and if you understand (looking up) that she came in through the bathroom window, then you'll accept that I carry that weight a long time...

in just a moment...

once there was a map, but I may have lost it... buried treasure, me bobkins, (what about Bob?) and many mores the like ya (dialect, mine)...

what I meant to say before I got carried away by my self-indulgences and shameless plugs (and naked exposure of this playground I rather arbitrarily, I think, call my mind which contains me and many imaginary characters and room for lots more... come on in {spoken in the most reverent Robin Williams}... what parentheses?) was that you inspire me to take it higher, to reach for the moon and the stars and the wingless flight of believing in humanity and goodness and happiness and peace and love again... people can be kind, even on the internet where it seems nine out of ten people agree, they want to seel something or somehow manipulate others with words out of boredom or some psychological need they are not fulfilling in their offline lives... yeah, even though all of that, you give me the gift of your words and your words renew my hope... oh now, not you life up my life again... you liftme up where we belong too?... this mutual admiration society we've created is getting out of hand... please continue...

deeper still, there are voices of panic (where's my towel?.... anybody seen my guide?), of fear and doubt, from memories still hauntingly fresh (especially since I just heard from the darkness again)... while I drag this carcass to the gym and wake this body up and maintain my eternal child inside and rejoice in your favor, the one at the center of my heart driving me in circles still lingers in a desert of despair, a pause of precarious balance... where is the music today?... when was the last time I sang?... where are the books and records and tapes and CDs, the music and movies I left behind?... **---

mourning comes candoor a... a... a... uh-huh

I've got just a moment to spare as I pushed out another workout at the gym before falling over after work this morning and now it would be a good idea to get some sleep since my head has started it's bobbing exercises and I am not, contrary to appearances, a car ornament... but I just had to come here and tell you thank you again and show you what sort of bubbling over the love you gave to me (so much more than equal to the love you save within me) creates around here... it's a mess, really, mush everywhere... I wish I could show you better...

what I may need most are two arms strong enough for me to collapse in without letting me drop... I mean that figuratively, literally, and whatever the going -ly is today... what I've got are your words, your eyes, your comforts and inspirations and and and... yay J






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


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tell others
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applause?
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get your own!

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browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


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