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Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

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Harry Chapin Lyrics
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OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

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utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
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fallout shelter
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reason
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nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
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3Hive
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REFERENCE LIBRARIES

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AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
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the guide
purple
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glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
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CULTURE

the superficial
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this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
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Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
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send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-03-13 - 9:06 a.m.

something about the philosophy of blogging, maybe


. o O ( psssst... if you blinked, you missed an entry ) O o .

the blogMad factor seems is a powerful one in the blogosphere (are we elite yet?)... at least among those using blog exchange services... it is a great way to get more people to notice your site and a great way to find other interesting diary/journal/blog sites... I've even noticed people changing their designs and formatting their pages differently (probably listening too much to the design snobs out there, but then, if you are trying to sell something, I suppose packaging matters more than content)...

We sell nothing here...

but feel free to send money anyway...

who's not serious?... ah, don't let my irreverence get the best of you, I mean every word I say... sometimes...

aherm (throat clearing, ya know), the irony most that the self-proclaimed experts don't seem to see is that their advice (or rants) are a bit arbitrary since these same critics also complain about same old boring default designs, in the same breath, insist you conform to their idea of what is good design, which is basically very similar to those most popular newspapers and magazines have been using for years... for me, it's the thoughts and feelings and then the words {cuz they attempt to express the thoughts and feelings} and then the presentation, with conforming to popularity last on the list of priorities)...

you've noticed?...

you must be perceptive too (and to those laughing, thanks for trusting me to remain me... no worries, I'll remember all the little people when my head gets so big that it falls off)... yeah, I'm so impressed I am prostrate with humility... as with so many things in this life, it amazes me how some people choose to turn any fun and pleasure into hard work and judgmental anxiety... I say that if blogging is stressful and work for you, you need another hobby... if you like me, cool... if you don't like me, oh well, stay positive and hope you find someone you do like and focus your energy on them...

of course I am not beyond kissing butt now and then, as the amazing and wonderful Smed knows too well by now, I have been known to pathetically beg for music, but that's another side of my self-mocking personality that we'll get into some other time...

and now, as I slow down my blogMaddening rush to accumulate credits so other blogmadniacs can rush blogmadically past this diary accumulating their credits so that other blogmaddicts can rush in blogmadistic frenzy past their blog, journal, or diary and so on and so on, I read somewhere (link to be spared, I suppose) that digg mentioned a site that helps you download videos when it seems you could not before... and so I find a video here that I would like to save and wouldn't you know that the first video I find is on a site not listed on the sites they help you save videos from...

it's a great idea though...

and I've already chatted with one of the blogmad creators (one of the four apostles of blogmad (holy holy man, Batman!) and I felt even more positive about the site and service after that (it was a clearly religious experience)... in fact, I'm buying the first communion wafer T-Shirt they sell when they get around to selling merchandise... I mentioned a question I had on the shout box that they have on their member control page and within moments he invited me into a private IRC chat... he was very responsive and helpful and a fun guy for a chat...

further along in my travels (still exploring the philosophy of using blog exchanges to increase visitors), guppyman brings up a good point about how numbers increase, but few stop to comment or actually read (are you reading?... it you had to stop and check, you oughta be laughing too)... that inspired me to leave the following comment (in which I mention tickles, who is another commenter there, who suggested that a lot of people passing through for the first time might have nothing to say about a writer's specific topics):

...especially in the beginning (and especially during a 2 for 1 credits day), page hits will skyrocket and comments will dwindle... I say don't expect too much too soon...

tickles has a point too... hundreds, maybe thousands of new people passing through your web space does not mean they are interested in your topics...

the way I see it, if one new friend comes of my signing up with a blog exchange or community, then it was worth it... if a few extra meaningful commenters come along, great... but I sure don't want a whole lot of empty words from total strangers just because I signed up for a community... I can find quite enough pretenders out in the real world :)

the irony of my thinking about the real world was quite intentional, after the fact (as many of my rambling thoughts are)... between reality television and soap operas and sit coms and serious drama, television people and celebrity personalities dominate so much of our culture that they seem real to us in our minds... but if we ever sat down with any popular personality and were not interviewing, but rather getting to know the person, would we be getting to know they image we've created in our minds?... would we be disappointed if the real person let down his or her guard and did not live up to the image we've created and assigned to their name and face? (or body, in some cases)...

I play ego games with myself (and you) a lot here in my babbling and will continue to because that's part of the fun of writing for me, playing with delusions of grandeur, as if everybody must care about what I have to say because what I have to say is vital to the future of humanity... the words that pour forth from my mind are essential for human enlightenment and peace on Earth... if this page does not reach maximum popularity then our whole civilization may crumble under the darkness of age old fears, repressed dreams, and the doubts of insecurity...

kind of like climbing the cliffs of insanity, if you get that reference...

inconceivable!

and of course my topics are what everyone should be talking about because they are important to me... how can you not want to discuss fantasy baseball statistics or Oscar voting or why Britney got so fat or how lame or righteous (depending on your perspective) Avril might be this week... how can you not be fascinated by the pictures of space (outer, inner, wherever) and Mars and the possibility that life exists beyond this planet and, like Mulder said, the truth is out there... how can you possibly not have a favorite American Idol pick or be fanatically desperate, like Tony Danza, to know what's going to happen next on 24... how can you not be waiting with baited breath anticipating the next words from Stephen Hawking about the unified theory?... the nature of the universe?... the essence of God?... and the quniverse, how can you not be devastated when I do not go on and on about that?...

can you imagine if I wrote an entry without sarcasm?...

of course I do, don't be fooled by the fool typing the words, my sincerity is unfailingly pure behind the curtain, behind the candoor... if you were sitting here right now you would see the glint in my eye as I imagined what you looked like without your clothes - or perhaps we'd discuss classical music... was Beethoven really deaf or did he just tire of human voices, lose himself in the music, and ignore everyone really well?...

but your breasts have value too!

I mean, these questions have great value... it is not just a matter of investigating the mysteries of the subatomic spectrum, the spiritual crescent, your fertile triangle, or the quniverse... no, it is not just a matter of gaining another reader or slipping in (or into) the subtlest of titillation, no no no, we're not merely pandering to the masses... what hiss?...

there's a Pope for that...

and certainly it is not a matter of writing merely to throw controversial ideas, provocative quips, or clever innuendo out and about, baiting debate, trolling for conflict, provoking a rant... that is not what we are about as a clutter, I mean culture, right?... of course it is about the typos, but that's just one of the secrets buried beneath the Sphinx and perhaps, the Aztec or Mayan piles of dust...

you do see the point here, don't you?...

of course you'll remain silent because you're not sure if I am serious or rhetorical in seeking your opinion and nobody wants to be wrong, even if it would make for better comedy than my solitary ramblings... monologues can only take us so far as a species, after all... as Socrates knew too well, there comes a time when dialogue must begin and at other times, hemlock must be drunk (or some strong fermented liquid, perhaps)... I'd prefer a nice clean joint, myself, but then, cultural mores are vital to normalcy and we all do want to be normal, right?...

so welcome my son, welcome to the machine of the brave new world where the thought police sing won't your turn on your red light and you too can wonder if you still haven't found what you're looking for... the crowds will cheer as books are burned and peace is ensured through conformity and all responsibility for everything will be lifted from your shoulders so you will be happy in your little box doing your little task running your little wheel over and over again...

no wonder Beethoven went deaf...

meanwhile, in another part of the cranial cavity, we celebrate the virtue or drinking water... when was the last time you pondered the miracle of H 2 O ?... chemistry class?... never?... what manner of being takes the magical qualities of such a molecule for granted?... probably the same ones who did not notice that in the news this week there are reports of scientific evidence of the shrinking of polar ice caps... ah, but who can be concerned about the possibility that by the end of the century we might be in an unstoppable cycle of melting that will rival the story of Noah... there's plenty of time to built an Ark, after all... and by then we'll have politicians promising two arks for every garage...

it's not like this is a cult or anything...

yes, we don't have time for such trivial future fantasies... like when will Paula and Simon have another go at each other, because we can not miss that... raise your hand if you think they are secretly doing it after the show?... and come on, which Survivor couple are you fantasizing about?... what, your thoughts are puerile?... it's not all about sex for you?... it's about the rich contribution Fear Factor makes to our culture?... ah, my apologizes, I mistook you for a cave man...

please, nobody tell the Geico cave men I just said that... I can not afford to take them out for roast duck in a mango salsa... personally, I prefer a mango chutney, but there's no accounting for taste, I suppose...

but getting back to the point, of course I play the occasional ego trip here, wandering off in tangential parentheses (and even without parentheses) to wherever the music in my head might take us, but that's just a phase...

eventually this unquenchable thirst for mass popularity will fade as it always has before and I'll be back to rambling on as if nobody existed outside of the myriad of characters in my head (cuz that is reality, isn't it?) and you'll no longer be able to follow my trains of thought as they leave the station in various directions kinda simultaneously... yeah, but only kinda... I mean, not every entry has a coherent theme running through it like this one, after all...

meanwhile, back to blogMad... it is with bittersweet respect that I report about Atariboy won a zillion credits (actually, about 25,000, which is quite a lot as each credit can be a new visitor to his page) in the lottery... yeah, so my spending 200+ credits on 20+ tickets was a waste of credits, except to him since he got them, but I'm not bitter, no, I don't hate him, really I don't...

we all know I am the special one who deserved them most, which is what matters...

maybe I should rethink my design...

no really, stop laughing, I am only half sarcastic there... truth is I've been pondering a three column design for some time now simply because that left column has gotten so very long and my madness to write entries that go all the way down to the bottom of that column has stretched some entries far beyond their ordinary life span... but now if I actually do that, I'll be thinking I'm just pandering to the blogging elite and grumble as I mock my weakness... it's not groveling, really, you believe me, right?...

see, I use a 21 inch monitor now and the page leaves a whole lot of space on the right side of the screen... on the other hand, I don't want a page that scrolls off to the right on smaller screens (cuz I don't like that when I am on a smaller screen), so I must go back to using use percentages in my tables and columns and I haven't had design time (just as I don't make edit or re-write time cuz I'd rather be babbling than anything else), so maybe one of these days, but not today...

yeah, well, ever the rebel, I just took five minutes to create a basic three column newspaper style template and we'll see how long it takes me to actually consider using it... this is still life in black and white ya know, so don't be expecting all sorts of colors or even gray scales...

that will be for when the rainbows return...

oh, do you hear the sudden musical segue into the theme from your favorite soap opera or night time drama?... how about violins, there must at least be violins... well, ok, so maybe you actually do want to know me... this is something I thought about recently and while I have a slew of pages on the left that lists things about me or my life, I am not sure I actually have a bio page (even in my bios)... a long time ago I set up my web world with a main gate that lead to a few primary entrances...

the written gardens brought you to a site map of most everything I have on the web, almost... the front door was the way into my house, the home of a babbling fool 4 year old toon who went by the name of anonanonanon in various chat rooms back in the nineties... my first (and maybe most fun) persona, at least for the manic world of chat rooms... then there was the back door that was more personal and crossed into the real much more than the abstract babbling fantasies and characters... I figured that just like at our houses, neighbors and acquaintances come around back, hang out in the yard, and have access to the more personal rooms of the house...

then, for anyone who wanted to be a friend and hang out with me more one-to-one, I created the window entrance cuz friends climb up a tree or the side of the house or a ladder to come in through the bedroom window (hey, I am a child inside and it's my house idea {and a very very very fine house it is}... in fact, my second ID online was childinside and so often on ICQ I would be asked "when are you due" which was a fun ice breaker since I had to explain I was male and meant inner child and if laughter ensued we were cool and if not, we moved along to more compatible senses of humor... but this is a tangent that could go in a million directions and I was trying to be concise here)...

ha, concise, me...

anyway, people could choose the entrance of their liking and get to know me as they wished and even though the pages there are at least a few years old, the basics about who I am and what I like remain the same...

I mean, if you want to know...

and then there are personal ads and profiles out there and then I realized that most of the critical demographic info I give about myself on the web is not consistent because I know how easily identity theft can happen and I don't want to make it that easy, so I rarely give my full real birth date in the same place I am giving my full real name, and so on... this lead to this next bit of introductory fodder that has yet to actually be completed and uploaded anywhere, so it's premiering as yet unfinished right before your eyes, here and now:

Things you should know before assuming you know me:


the one thing I am most sure of being right about is that I may be wrong, so please do not take my word for anything as gospel and if you wish to argue a point I make, try not to assume I disagree with you simply because I expressed an opinion you do not agree with... if that's not clear, well, try again...

any profile you find on the web about me as likely contains inaccurate personal information as it might contain something accurate. In this day of electronic surveillance and identity theft, I deliberately do not put my actual birth date, age, gender, or any information in a single package anywhere... it is simple enough to find all that out by doing a search, if you are really interested...

besides, I'm afraid if you all found out I was an 4'4" 350 pound, bald, 87 year old cross dressing hermaphrodite arachnid with false teeth and dandruff born on April 1st and secretly into sex with young fruit, nobody would like me...

just when you thought I might be getting serious, huh?...

but then, they're only words...

ah, the irony of this internet life is that it comes at a point in the overall life I loosely call mine when I am as far from my core, as far from actualizing the person I am, as I've ever been... I do not express myself as I know I can or am, I do not live life as I know I can or am... if my words confuse you at times, that's to be expected for I love word play, but the challenging fact to face is that my words confuse me at times, too often, in fact, and that is the bittersweet irony of this internet life... for even if you read every word, you'd not know me... but beyond this distant cyber sharing, even if we shared living space, you'd barely scratch the surface and even if my head, you'd be unsure of who I am...

how did it happen, and why?...

mostly boredom... not to downplay the profound hurts, the betrayals of trusts, the attempts to destroy me, deliberate and unintentional, on every level by those trusted with my care the most... not to downplay my hesitation in trusting even myself more than ever before... but ultimately, it's mostly boredom...

kinda like Beethoven going deaf, perhaps...

meanwhile, in keeping with my content over design theme (nothing like a sudden segue to heighten the suspense and reinforce whatever enigmatic qualities I might still have left, aye?), I love this page... I mean the words on it... and the content on the site feels a lot like what I find in a friend's mind (or is that my mom's head)... fun and serious and wise and simple (though simplicity on the surface does not always reflect what is underneath, I like simple and deep much more than complex and shallow... even though I think I may be all four, but that's a tangent of another self-indulgent introspective entry)...

so we come to the close of yet another entry inspired by my insatiable ego (with a supporting cast of blogMad and a few I found there, and Beethoven), and as is often, or at least sometimes the case, I've slipped, even if you don't have time to follow the linkage, some deep personal information about myself amidst the rambles, like diamonds on a white coral beach, and leave it for you to make of what you will of what you read...

my primary purpose here is to mind dump, that is, to get the excess of thought matter out of my head so I might be a happy idiot struggling for legal tender and all that daily routine stuff... yup, I'm first and foremost here for myself... but being an insatiable lover of sharing and hopelessly hopeful romantic dreamer of finding a soul mate and friends who will make this world a much better place, I pour my personal self-therapy out here on to the web... hopefully it doesn't attract too many flies...

when I tell you I love you I mean it, no joke or doubt there... I care because caring feels better than not caring... I share because shared caring feels even better than caring alone... and when given the choice to feel, I always try to feel the best I can feel... even when it's a double entendre, which it wasn't when this paragraph started out...

I hope you've had some fun in your reading, because it was a great pleasure writing these words and I'd like to think they can be used again by you to pleasure yourself, or at least take your mind off the smell while you're in the bathroom... everyone should have the internet in their bathroom, I mean, you never have to change the magazines cuz they'll never get old and just think of all the porn...

yeah, well, if you have not been laughing along with me at the appropriate times of irreverent banter, then you'll just have to have your head examined... feel free to bring your head by anytime for a free examination... I do free pelvic exams as well, if you happen to be hankering for one of those... after all, you can never be too careful... sorry, I gave up anal exams for lent...

at least half of what I say might have multiple meanings and the other half does... so if you still have a hold of your mind I suggest you wander over to your left, which would be on the opposite side of your right, but not at all wrong, and check out a link of your choosing... many are wonderful diversions from the mindless babble you've just experienced and some dare to even teach if you're willing to learn... a few might even make you go hmmmmm...

and enjoy, above all else, after doing no harm, enjoy J






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
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