LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


JOIN OR RE-REGISTER NOW

welcome blogmadians... and the rest of you, while still in beta, you can still join the latest greatest party on the web, blogmad!

SUPPORT BLOGMAD! BUY STUFF



o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-02-14 - 3:31 a.m.

eternal questions about the end of loneliness


and what would I do if I reached out to you and I felt you reaching back out to me, if I felt your touch on my hand, on my heart, in my mind... would I run into silence or scream like a banchee or drop to a knee or assuade cleverly whatever might be beyond what human eyes might see?...

that would probably be a bit long for a title for this entry, so it was abbreviated for posterity and the DLand database... and what does create the illusion of loneliness in this all too crowded world?... and why?... and must we know how it begins to know how it ends?... and must we know how it ends for it to end?...

let it be?...

I may never sleep again (oh child of mine) alone... sugar chocolate caffeine bad movies, a few minutes of Play-Mate of the Apes reminds me of how uncomfortable people appear in their bodies, especially when they might actually be stimulated... and so I switch to a few moments of Pendulum and wonder why producers or directors think that some visuals of flesh are enough to overcome mediocre writing and poor acting... and so I return to the legacy on Sci-Fi and leave again, bored, to find Loaded Weapon, where I give up, sufficiently distracted (with a little help from Kathy Ireland) from the potential depths I might have dug to before this paragraph, but still semi-satisfied with the link... and what can be done about it (though you could join his email group, not that it would help, but it couldn't hurt unless you don't have room for large mails as was the case on my old laptops, but this is besides the point and off the subject)... I mean, Gnaphalium Polycephalum is serious business, or this discussion, for that matter... morning glory?... what eternal questions?...

is death the only end to loneliness?...

not that the time of day (or the season) would have anything to do with the content of the entries, for waking engorged can happen any time of the day or night or year... it has more to do with waking up than time... or age... but still, the cycle of life is not always a circle... sometimes it is more cylindrical, or shaped like a half peach with the pit removed... but that doesn't have much to do with the eternal questions... more like midsight confessions (around kidnight)...

I have a new cellphone... a Motorola T720, the free one that comes with new contracts... they changed the network format and sharged $18.95 to upgrade my service to the new format... I think ripoff was even spelled out in the contract I signed, especially since I was just talked into upgrading my phone and service last year... no return on the phone, so now I have two non-working cell phones and have a new toy to play with... more minutes too...

it was not just frivolous purchasing power that lead me to the cellphone store to upgrade... it was getting Precious a phone... since I use the house line for the internet most of the time and most of her calls are long distance, Rasputin decided a cell for her was best, especially when we got a coupon in the mail for $9.95 a month for a second cell phone line... turns out that deal ended ten days ago, or maybe thirteen... so much for waiting until Friday the thirteenth to get her a phone... just $240 extra dollars, not including tax and extra fees... yes, on February 1st the rate went up to $19.95 a month... capital ripoff, and very bad timing... Rasputin needs to ask for a raise...

meanwhile, I bought a box of Girl Scout cookies for $3.50 today... it was an impulse purchase at work... I am munching on them now, just to give you some culinary details... which reminds me, we ate at the Macaroni Grill tonight... excellent food, after the corrected the error to my order... good correction, especially the discounted price due to their error... even better, Rasputin paid for the meal... I got the tip... sometimes, life is not as expensive as it could be... and good, life is also good...

even if it is exceedingly lonely in some other ways...

yes, to answer another question... I am alone in my bed, in my head, in my intimate life... living with two people is both great and intrusive, great because some of the loneliness is distracted away and intrusive because there's no complete privacy so falling asleep in the living room can be rather revealing for reasons eluded to above... another benefit to falling asleep with the laptop on my lap, but that's another distraction...

ultimately, I appreciate knowing you are out there... even if it leads to eternal questions about the end of loneliness that can only be answered with the help of another pair of hands, or at least someone else breathing in proximal space... intimacy requiring a level of eye contact, minimally, I mean... and yet, the words remain aloof, irreverent, and distant... in spite of their revealing nature, don't let the candor fool you...

when I tell all the world that I love you...

I don't always italicize lyrics, you know... but that is not to differentiate between the ones that ask or answer eternal questions, or any questions, for that matter... it's mostly random impulse, pressing the keys and all... is a man with a gun somehow suddenly more virile?...

now when you get this message, you should be awake, for if you are in REM sleep you might not be reading it too well... and the question of whether females experience a similar engorgement during REM sleep or waking is another discussion for another time, unless, of course, you wish to express your desires, or opinions, right now... notes, in lieu of comments, will be amusing, or at least dramatically appreciated... as they are... as they have been... as I ain't been too proud to beg, but I get the feeling that I've been doing it a little too often lately... or of late, for that matter...

a lot of chocolate went down today too... or yesterday, technically... and no sleep... except for a flurry of momentary naps in the past couple of hours here in the big green chair... interrupted by chocolate and the occasional glance at the TV and words slipping through my fingers... the phone is cool, I guess... flip phone and all... I can play Star Trek now... beam me up, and all... and there are games and features I really do not want to pay for... so I won't use most of the icons, so much phone potential wasted... I wonder if it will feel neglected and get dysfunctional...

yes, so these and other questions are left for the ages, osterity, or at least for you cuz you care... it's not all fun and games at this hour of the night, ya know?...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
Blogarama
Globe of Blogs
blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




~ BLOGROLLING ~
(Blogroll RSS)


Blogroll Me!

published
blogadvance
blogazoo
blogexplosion
blogmad?
bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






SAY HELLO
407-325-1482





and if you want to leave
take good care
hope you make a lot
of true friends out there