LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


JOIN OR RE-REGISTER NOW

welcome blogmadians... and the rest of you, while still in beta, you can still join the latest greatest party on the web, blogmad!

SUPPORT BLOGMAD! BUY STUFF



o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-07-15 - 12:12 a.m.

dam the hesitation


omigosh, have I become something I loathe?... prejudice is a stupid mindset that I've mocked and avoided to the best of my ability throughout this life (and hopefully anywhere else I may have been)... when I think about it, I don't do it... I think...

so why the doubts?...

well I've started noticing that I get a twang of hesitation (and occasionally a depressed negatory response, though I am not sure which comes first, the response or the downbeat feeling) from the communication center inside of my when I wander around the web and find inspiration and want to reach out and hug (literarily or literally) the person who wrote the words or uploaded whatever it was that inspired me and notice that the person is a lot younger than I am...

kick me please...

you see (hopefully), I spent a childhood in the sixties raging against the machines and spitting on prejudice and subjected to all forms of it from many quarters, especially in the form of ageism... I was psychoanalyzed at four years old by adults who labelled me genius with deviant tendencies (luckily I talked them out of locking me up by learning to hide most of what I was think well and how to be a zombie without the drugs they offered... the drugs came later at my choice, but that's another story) and was routinely subjugated to dismissal all through school and beyond for being too young to be taken seriously by adults who could not come up with logical reasons to answer my questions or convince themselves that I was wrong about whatever it was they ran out of patience or mental capacity to continue discussing... I was so offended by the ageism I experienced that I almost reverse-engineered prejudice for all people bigger than me because I did not find anyone bigger than me with what was to me an open mind...

and now as I find gray hairs peppering my sideburns I hestitate to reach out to people based on their age?... I am obviously proving that age does increase supidity and close the mind (and hopefully, with this self-exposing reminder, I am retarding the mental retardation)...

maybe I am afraid I will be mocked or misunderstood by youth who've succumbed to ageism themselves? (it happens, I've experienced it, and it sucks as much as any prejudice I've felt, maybe even worse, cuz where is the hope for humanity if not in the open minds of youth?)...

maybe I am afraid of becoming a pervert? (it happens, I've experienced it, so stop laughing {note to self: self-mockery in the midst of an attempt to make a serious point distracts from the point, duh} cuz I'm lonely and too easily seduced by nubile young flesh or any fit body that fits libido criteria for arousal?)...

maybe I am afraid I have nothing left to offer (and maybe afraid I never really did) so the rejection of my words or me is deserved (ouch, that would seriously suck)...

maybe I am just being stupid...

anyway, I am not a number and age is much more than a number of years... personally, I experienced more in my first ten years than most people experience in many lifetimes, and yet there are still many experiences I've not known that many have experienced... being old or young is both an advantage and a handicap... Harry Chapin had a verse

strum your guitar,
sing it kid
just write about your feelings,
not the things you never did
inexperience
it once had cursed me
but your youth is no handicap
it's what makes you thirsty

in a classic auto-biographical epic song (22 minutes long enough?) for anyone (or at least for many of us) who actually experienced the last forty or fifty years with an open heart and mind... of course you must give into your madness to appreciate it all fully, but that goes for anything...

some of you might hesitate or even write off any meaningful interaction with me because of the numbers, the stats, the differences... your loss... hopefully the rest of us won't be brought down by the prejudices and stupidities that come from closed minds and arbitrary rules... but in the moments when self-pity or depression bring us down and we fall victim to the fears that lead to accepting "no" when "yes" would be so much more rewarding and interesting and fun, hopefully we will find a way to keep hanging on, keep breathing, and dam the hesitation...

here is my hand, my heart, me in words...

love me or leave me...

no doubt...






. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
Blogarama
Globe of Blogs
blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




~ BLOGROLLING ~
(Blogroll RSS)


Blogroll Me!

published
blogadvance
blogazoo
blogexplosion
blogmad?
bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






SAY HELLO
407-325-1482





and if you want to leave
take good care
hope you make a lot
of true friends out there