LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
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o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-09-10 - 12:41 a.m.

but how can I be sure in a world that's constantly changing?


of course I have been known to get distracted myself at times... and sometimes, it's a the simplicity that leads to genius left for posterity to click on and see that inspires me to continue linking (though I think I shall save pages to my server whenever poassible from now on... so how do I go about downloading an entire web page with all the files it needs to show as it is?... I'd really really really like to know, and that too)...

pausing to remember to thank those who actually remain, I visited one today in this moment (as opposed to all the nostalgic links prior to this moment) and found myself writing this:

depraved sex acts and pasta salad, loneliness will drive us to some strange thoughts (but then, it wasn't you putting those two thoughts together, was it... I may never look at pasta salad the same way again, but then again, you're so cute I'll get over it... especially if you still don't mind my teasing)...

I was wandering through old entries in my old diaries and found many dead links because many people either deleted their pages or DLand did or they locked their sites or something and felt sad that all that babbling and linking was altered by powers beyond my creative control... then I found you've still got your archives up and open (cuz one of my links lead me to something you wrote in 2003) and I smiled...

so thanks for the smile, then and now, and I hope you get your pasta salad... I'd bring some myself, but it would probably spoil by the time I got there and besides, I just started a new job and it's not a good time to take off and I think I a have a sore throat germ trying to move in so I'm gonna nurse myself and rest this weekend... maybe someone will bring me pasta salad...

sending good thoughts to you cuz you remain on of my favorite internet people who seem real enough for me to like to think of as real :)



I so miss conversation, but much much more, I so miss intimate conversation and physical intimacy... and sure, sex and horniness are part of that mix, very much so at times, but the primary much much relates to a deeper intimacy than sexuality, a sensuality based on unconditional trust... I think of this when I remember people who inspire me to believe they have the right combination of personality traits (a rather unique, most would say odd mix at that) that I could relate to as someone I might trust unconditionally... that is beauty that can melt me...

and I don't merely mean the physical, though it does show in eyes and body language and is the most beautiful adorable, attractive look for me... it is not the typical sense of beauty as this culture seems to see it (though I've been told often that my ideal personality and perspective combination does look beautiful to many people)... it is more mesmerizing than typical beauty... and even more, I miss someone potentially able to relate to and trust me unconditionally (which is, ironically, one of my most intense personal turn-ons)...

sigh...

before this turns into yet another lament of loves lost (which may be brewing under the covers lately according to some of the voices in my head, but we'll leave that for another time as we simply do not have time for a good cry tonight and what good is a lament of lost loves without a good cry), lets stick to the point of lost links...

yeah so I was getting to a point that was about staying connected, especially relating to staying connected online... so many entries are full of links that no longer work as I skim through my archives... and as is so many other things in this life that involve or are created by humans, even when there is a chance at longevity, people accept such transience in their sharings and creations... so rarely do I find anyone who does not stay in the shallows... so rarely do I find anyone who keeps a record of their life to explore and enjoy as it grows and develops...

most seem eager to erase their past as if they are ashamed or thing they can change who they are by forgetting what they've done (or put online)... it makes no sense (to me at least) cuz you can't run from yourself no matter how hard you try or where you go... it is such a shallow way to live... but then, life is transient... we are born, we live, we die... the same trip for everyone... and maybe it is easier to go through the experience without close bonds, but especially without maintaining all the connections we could maintain... every link broken is a loss and it is easier to desensitize and not feel it...

but that is a pretense to believe we don't feel it... we might be able to somehow disconnect our consciousness and kill off memory cells, but that is a greater loss to me than the pangs of pain that come from being conscious of all the little losses... I'd rather feel than kill off my own brain cells... rarely do I meet someone who chooses this path or even someone who understands that it is possible and the most life affirming path to choose... most do not understand that erasing the past is self harming...

but it seems to be the normal human way...


CONTINUE







. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
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stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

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