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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2006-09-23 - 7:03 p.m.

ADD, the blessing, the curse


and now we begin to babble on
again as if we were never gone
and if tomorrow never comes
then at least yesterday was fun

or last night, even


yes, five entries were uploaded since you last blinked... you don't have to take my word for it, they are right there on the right under the AND WHATDYA MISS? ... they were all written in one long weekend, so you might as well get yourself a snack and drink and sit back and relax and start at the beginning...

though I suppose I should warn you that most of this session probably belonged over in the RealTime blog because there's a whole lot of mundane details and meaningless babble in the entries... but then, some of you like that...

and bless you for your choice J

so anyway, I come to this babbling tonight asking the multi-faceted question, what is it about ADD that is so appealing and yet so infuriating?...

the infuriating part is kind of obvious... for the person with serious ADD, concentrating on anything and getting anything done can be an impossible dream... and for anyone trying to get and keep the person's attention, like to cooperate on a task or simply hold a conversation (or hope for some consideration that depends on short term or environmental memory), feels get hurt because the person forgets you exist in the middle of a conversation...

what?...

and you wonder if the person is simply bored with you, blowing you off, or deliberately being rude... or if the person is actually gone and no longer aware you were just sitting there talking... factor in television and even a slight case of ADD can become a full blown disappearing act...

and so goes the relationships at casa de candoor...

Rasputin is in the consistent habit of coming into the living room, scanning through channels for ten or twenty minutes, and not hearing anything said to him unless it's repeated loudly a few times... Precious isn't quite so ADD, but then, she's usually in the living room seeking attention in the first place... I couldn't tell you how I react, because I'm on the inside looking out and don't talk to myself in the physical world...

what?...

not that I dis myself... I mean, I like me and would be happy to have a conversation with me and, in fact, I do all the time inside my head... I just don't have any reason to open my mouth and ask myself something aloud that I might ignore because I am so zoned into something I didn't know I was zoned into that it would appear I didn't even hear myself ask myself the question...

I think the difference between my peculiar ADD (in the physical world) and others is that I want to share everything so I am always alert to anyone around me who might want to share something and when someone does start sharing something I stop my manic browsing and focus on the person and whatever he or she wanted to share...

left to my own devices, I am bouncy... especially alone in my own head... that's why I love the web, because there's almost always a variety (sometimes a plethora) of paths to explore no matter where I start or end up... since I love exploring the unknown and enjoy new experiences and much as old familiars, virtually wherever I wander can offer something fun for me...

wherever I wander... there's a Waterboys lyric from long ago... relatively recent, in the eternal time line, but the early nineties can be considered long ago in the span of our lifetimes... I miss The Waterboys... I miss the people from the early nineties... I miss the people from other times too... but the early nineties was fun because I was on an extended vacation... for years...

and I definitely could enjoy a life without work (and be healthier and more social and have more fun), I proved that... some people need structure, but not me... and for so long I've been in search of a rose...

metaphorically, of course...

meanwhile, Raspy is eating Taco Bell... he woke hungry and foraged a few times to the fridge and kitchen cabinets where he found very little food other than stuff I bought that requires some heating up, at least, if not actual preparation and cooking... the sink is full of their dirty dishes and he doesn't like to cook...

I suppose that if we didn't know each other so well and someone else headed out the door and returned with lunch and didn't ask if I wanted anything I might feel like they didn't care... but Raspy was focused on getting himself some food and that's all there was in his head...

so I love him... besides, he really sick... head cold and flu symptoms... they get them a couple of times a year it seems... I try not to and usually succeed... they don't respect cleaning and washing as much as I do (at least not in their daily habits) and basically do not avoid germs... still, he's a good soul deep down...

so is Precious, who often epitomizes all of my bad habits, which can irritate me at times, but then, she's a fine example of how I overcame most of those habits and why I don't want to slip back into them... she's out at a play, again... she's spoiled that way... her room is cleaner, but she still didn't do as her dad asked... there's five big garbage bags full of garbage though and you can see her desk and part of the floor...

it's really quite amazing...

meanwhile, over in my space, you can see everything... and by my space, I mean my bedroom and office area which is a little alcove off the living room (not myspace... and by everything, I mean the floor, walls, space (not that I'm naked)... everything is where it belongs... all the shirts are hung up neatly and all the pants and shorts are folded neatly and all the socks and underwear are in their drawers and everything is in a neatly organized place...

and then I finally slept...



and then this happened...

no really, it happened... the link didn't work the first time, but it did happen...

yay universe for the joke J






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