LIFE

IN
BLACK
AND
WHITE



last---past---next---now
( FEATURED OTHERS 'n STUFF )

MEG AND DIA!

ORLANDO?

WHERE IT BEGAN


ARE THEY SERIOUS?
(how far are we from censorship?)

ONE. . . WHY
(find your social conscience)

Barbara Waters: so candoor, what all this fuss about blogmad?

Candoor: Blogmad? It's better than ever! Get more visitors (or find me in chat there). Register now and tell me for extra credits. VARB?


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o O ( ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE ) O o

CONVERSATION WITH GOD

MEANING OF LIFE
FORWARD THIS ENTRY
INTELLIGENT DESIGN

(SEE WHAT THE POPE SAYS)

o O ( AND COMING SOON! ) O o

ABOUT ZOOPLA

o O ( AND CURRENT EVENTS ) O o


blogadvance blogazoo
blogexplosion blogmad?
bloglines


o O ( SOCIAL CONCERNS ) O o

HELP THE RED CROSS
MESSAGES FROM MISSISSIPPI
BLOG FOR RELIEF
NEW ORLEANS JOURNAL

(MIRROR OF N.O. JOURNAL)
(INCLUDING LIVE CAM AND PHOTOS)

HELP AND BE HELPED
HURRICANE HOUSING
LINKS TO HELP
IMAGES FOR HISTORY
New Orleans News
Buloxi News
THE FAILURE


FREE SPEECH
(tell them what you think)

The White House
(202) 456-1111

Senate and Congress
(202) 224-3121

YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHTS
USE THEM





FAT MAN WALKING
BLOGATHON!
INDEX BEGIN
FACE FUN!



last---past---next---now



SITES I SEE A LOT
IxQuick Search
Google Search
itools references
movie database

Giga-Quotes

Harry Chapin Lyrics
SSA




OLD AND NEW READS
(WISH I HAD MORE TIME
TO READ and EXPLORE)

mother jones
utne reader
common dreams
the progressive
mediate
the other side
orion
harper's
rolling stone
reel classics


fallout shelter
the memory hole
song meanings
truth out
wil wheaton
bugmenot
global news matrix
break for news
are you generic?
neil gaiman
h2g2
daily kos
the truth laid bear
reason
capitol hill blue
boing boing
nobody here




SITES I AM CONSIDERING
SEEING MORE OFTEN

3Hive
metafilter
comics
digg





REFERENCE LIBRARIES

questia
wikipedia
gutenberg
internet public library

itools references
movie database
Giga-Quotes
rare-lyrics
all musicals




AMUSEMENTS

Diaryland Times
home star runner
hell
hell too
sinfest
ill will press
the guide
purple
despair
maximum awesome
86 the onions
straight dope
something awful
glossy news
eric conveys emotion
odd todd
cracked



CULTURE

the superficial
darwin awards
this is true
urban legends
news of the weird
church of the fsm
the onion
god checker
faqs
fark
iGod
post secret
webby awards
meetup
the white house
ragged trousered philosopher
the smoking gun
the defective yeti
landover baptist
evil bible


COMMERCIAL CRAP (AND PRON)

(Note: pron is porn worth a look for amusement much more than passion, so if you see a (p) next to a link, be aware naked people may appear if you click it, m'ok?)

beautiful agony (p)
(a turn on or a laugh?)
real doll (p)
(the ultimate self-indulgence)

(or it could just be a typo)




PROMPTS
(IF YOU KNOW ONE LET ME KNOW)


Unconscious Mutterings
Friday Feast
Wednesday Whatevers
Sunday Brunch
Monday Madness
Thursday Threesom
Saturday Questions




(make it real)

PO BOX 780398
Orlando, FL 32878

send me some music
your favorite music
old or new
blissful or blue
let your message come through
and I will love you forever



last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2016-05-12 - 2:54 a.m.

Laughing Lament


I will keep coming back to see
if you or anyone missed me
I will keep checking in with hope
that somebody will care

I will keep giving
loving and living
hoping someone will stay



I have a surplus of Taco Bell Diablo sauce packets for sale. Most of them have not been opened. Make an offer.

So the world still whirls around, aye? Me?... I am still writing too much every day somewhere, here and there, for instance. It's an addiction for me, this blogging life.

And you, are you still whirling around? How many years are you willing to remember? I spent the past week, a few hours a day (or night), reading this diary (still a diary, not a blog, aye?). What interested and excited and amused me even more than my own writings were the comments left here. My smile kept widdening and I kept saying to myself, "I remember you" again and again.

Dear sweet lovable Smash, how I miss your growling sense of humor and damn near pure heart. Don't worry, I'll never tell what a cuddly teddy bear lives inside the giant moster suit (wink wink, nudge nudge, blind bats can see what we all miss). If you want to explore the creative mind (and heart) of a mad rocker biker masher (as in gas peddle masher), there is one place to go which leads to the following lament.


Once I was a star online
but the story disappeared
my ego lost a hundred pounds
and my long mane was sheared
still I was never Sampson or
any sort of great man
so it is fitting that I end
up in the garbage can

but no more woe is me for me
I did it to myself
what should I expect when I
put my friends on a shelf
and leave them there for many years
like unread books and dust
who'd believe that the silence cares?
or that sillness has lust?

it's a betrayal of trust
but I shall overcome my fears
and admit I still love you all
as simple as it appears
I still see rainbow through the tears



I don't know, was that lament? Maybe it was an ambivalent cheer for hope. There's always hope, right? I used to remind myself of that regularly, daily even. It must still be true because here I am again, remembering and feeling smiles all through me. Anyone who needs an apology for my disappearing, I will happily apologize in any way that works for you. I meant no harm. That's my primary philosophy, if you recall. Honesty Without Harm. Yes, capitalized. You may also note that I am using punctuation. Some of you may be calling out, "Who is this imposter?" but the babbling might be familiar in a few more paragraphs. I use punctuation in my latest blogs. I practiced and practiced and decided to try it. I may not have it just right, but then, I am not trying to be just right, I am trying punctuation.

The lament is real though, even if I didn't express it clearly (I doubt I did, I mean, I am older and less adept at this free associative creative magic now, after all). The saddest lament is finding so many diaries locked. People I adored (really, I adored you DandyDandy... sigh... and stop pouting everyone else, I adored many of you. HissandTell, locked. That's just wrong. Deserves a HissyTelly fit, even. Kung Fu Kitten silent since late 2013 and oh no, TranceJen, where art thou?... I am still loving the Mix CDs you sent me). Already I am rambling without a ruddder.

So many more... f-i-n is a blank white page where so much wonder (for me, at least) used to be. Maybe that is the wonder, create your own?. Just look, PoolaGirl locked. Moon Baby, locked. Naked Barista, gone. Erases, locked. Ellipse, 2005. Anna Rain, 2007. Abby Normal, locked. Lady Leroy, gone. SquirrelX, locked. At least Uncle Bob and Bien Soul said a real goodbyes. Sighs galore.

Of course some of you might recall I am an emo kid from way back and often get ridiculously emotional about obvious that's life stuff. I mean, I am still mourning the loss of Smoog and McEarstix and Erato and recovering from the tragedy of when Clarity25 and Cutething locked away their respective geniuses as they were some of my absolute favoritest people and reads. I miss my online heroes. I could go on all night it seems, so many people simply closed or deleted or locked their online presences at Diaryland. Am I the strange one for leaving all of mine open and even though it's rare, occasionally sprinkled with words?

So many others pausing a year or few in the past with no forwarding address leaving me to wonder... are you alive? Are you writing somewhere else? Do you ever think of me? How are you? Will you answer? I still really really really want to know? How can I be sure? Do I really really really want to be sure? I am not sure of what I may want to be sure of and I think I may have lost that sincere lament that was pouring out before this run on sentence started, but I miss you, I really really really do miss you. I miss Smed and SmedIndy too.

Tim Dangerous, where have you walked off to? Were you consumed by a potato? Did you start your fast again and waste away to nothing? BornEarly, gone since 2012, I still listen to your music and other music you turned me on to. Maybe some of you will come back like Not Bob did. Hugs for the challenges you've survived and hugs of hope for better days continuing.

All the wonderful people on my Profile Lists, where have you gone?

Still, it is not all a barren wasteland out there. There are some bounce-up-and-down-cheering surprises too, like Golf Widow moving to a free standing website that is, get this, actually about golf!. Who'da thunkit? Evanelle, do I know you, I feel like I do. Or should. Weetabix moved, but still shares online. And I am smiling to see the 29th yay, kind like me in a hit and run hello and well wishes, but I know your sincerity... mine are sincere too... hope you are well too.

There must be a wondrous place out there where Nicim is blessing someone with her light and wonder and hope and belief in love, but alas, it has been some time between entries. I miss you my friend.

Pushing through the lament like determined daisies (feel free to substitute a macho metaphor or other reference for those of you who do not like being referred to as daisies) were some amazing diariest still diarying, ummm, writing in their diary. Dangerspouse seems timeless, endless, ridiculous, but in a wonderfully endearing way (respect, much respect to the brain behind those words)... Raven72d is a stallworth (does that word still exist?) restoring my faith in the passion and addiction of writing online (I am not the only one in the asylum, yay)... it is good to see Mistress Matisse is still whipping up entries regularly... and Stepford lives!...

Reason to celebrate (Yay!).

Not to be outdone, Bindyree is still breathing words into this place, wonderful to see even if my laptop is currently soundless. I remember Don't Remember too (I was never good at following instructions like that). And the ever increasingly inspiring Melody Metuka continues to pop up and remind me, without really trying, that no matter how challenging my life may be or has ever been, I am lucky to have the challenges I have and not the challenges she has. Thank you all (so many not mentioned) for the continued inspirations.

And now we pause for a moment of reverent reflection...

Dear deepest memories and long lost favorites, so many, so it seems so sad that Autumnal is not accepting new notes and only left five entries on dairyland, alas, but she left a note saying she is on tumblr, so there is hope?

Hope and excitement continued to bubble as I found Nebulous was maybe not completely gone... oh dear Nebby, so much like family I adopted and fell in love with so long ago, I hope all is well.

Speaking of family, Moo! must be somewhere, you just must. There you are! (and Facebook too... Facebook, I wonder how many of my wonderful Diaryland memories are alive and posting on Facebook? It seems to be the thing to do these days. I was there for many many years myself. Bugs Webbot was the name for about ten years until Facebook blocked that account {I am suffering from PCTS... Post Cyber-Trauma Stress... ten years of lost posts, photos, and thousands of connections. All cuz I do not like Hillary much, but that's another rant for another blog} and I had to create another one. Ric Held, look me up if you like. I am not there much. Facebook betrayed me and disillusionment is all I feel when I go there. I'll get over it, I mean, overdramatic emo doesn't last forever).

Time keeps on ticking ticking ticking...

Obviously this entry is incomplete, far from satifying, and certainly not the free flowing babble that I expect of myself here, but hey, this may continue, even without a little encouragement :)







. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)




see me - - - feel me - - - touch me - - - heal me


< last one < < < < BURP! > > > >next one >




.

.

.

.

.

the moment

we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)...

you know that box to the right on the dland entry page called recent public entries?... what do the asterisks mean?... and the bold?...

. . .

connections

.

.

.

.

AND WHATDYA MISS?
Laughing Lament
stranger brews
once upon a diaryland
babbling through computer concerns
stunningly missing
older still


random chance

who me?

leave a note?
(read archived notes)

send me mail?

you want to know me?
soundtrack
101 Things
The Sequel
The Trilogy
202 Things
200 Things
202 More Things
202 Things Again
testing123
have time, love words?
sleepwriting
(where the heart dreams)

and now, in RealTime�

DO ME!
(Johari Style)


DO ME WRONG!
(but do me right)


SOAP!

(EPISODE ONE)
(the dark side of candoor)


loving linkers
other loves

A Diaryland Survey
other surveys
small world
your profile matters
(search for you & find me)


tell others
read others
applause?
favor?
gift?

get your own!

saturn rings and other places
googlisms
browsing
where've ya been?
the searchers

favorites

911
HEY AMERICA!
LOOK AT YOUR CHILD
STOP THE ABUSE

(GET THE CODE)

THOUGHTS ON GOD

( temporary attractions )


BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE!

WAS #1 @ MSN!
(for a while, now on page 3 5)




(EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS)
RSS?



who links here
blogwise
Blogarama
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blogthings

~ BLOGLINKERS ~




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(Blogroll RSS)


Blogroll Me!

published
blogadvance
blogazoo
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blogmad?
bloglines



(PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS)
TSUNAMI INFO
fantasy sports?
BLOGGIES?
sorry everybody
Orange Blossom Music Festival

Deland Music Festival
MIT Survey

brilliant idea
Celebrate Birthdays
FOR FREEDOM



CONTINUE...
talking dog






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