something could have been something so beautiful if I could only remember what something that was� but I don't really want to longer in lament any longer tonight� I want someone to respond to something I write, but not because I ask and not to pass the time, I want someone to be drawn into the meaning of the rhyme and understand what I feel at the bottom line� someone free to come to me and share some space in real time�

dang, the loneliness is thick in the air tonight� which should mean that the desire to share is high (since I am only lonely when I want to share and no one is around)� and those around here at work are not the kind of sharing I seek� not that we could chat, but the hunger for sharing reaches way beyond what anyone I know has offered and I do not want to be satisfied with what amounts to superficial sharing tonight� and yet, I do not wish to lament either� would that suggest I am ready to go out somewhere and seek more people in the hope that one might offer the deeper sharing I seek?� alas, we will not know the answer the that question as I am going to be here at work and it is 2:00 AM�

so I write�

and so it goes� in my original online journal I'd let the words flow into rhyme without any filtering or editing (and, in fact, those who knew me in personal correspondence know that I'd send dozens of pages of prose mixed with rhyme as it flowed without any omissions at all), but here in this place I tend to pull out the rhymes more often than not and leave only the prose� it is an experiment in editing my babbling flow for public presentation as I know some are rather dramatically turned off instantly by even the format of a poem or lyric that they click away (or rate poorly, judging by candora'sVARB) and miss the point because they don't read the words for content�

I find that many do that online�

form and design is all some seem to see, which is ok, because everyone has the right to choose what turns them on and what they make meaningful in their lives� and if centered prose or a lyrical rhyme or the colors or design of a page prevents you from seeing there is a person pouring him or herself into words in the hope that someone might relate, well, maybe it's a lost opportunity or maybe it's for the best� in any case, I've chosen to spread my endless stream of words over many web sites over the years and here, behind the candoor, you'll find mostly the prose that flows between the rhymes�

if you enjoy lyrical rhymes, just click on the links (though in fact most links are not to my other writings, some are rhyming expressions of the prose and if you get the feel of the flow of my words you'll probably be able to distinguish when a link is telling you that a rhyme came next in the flow and when a link is simply pointing to someone else's page that related to the content I tried to put in the words� when in doubt, just ask, cuz it'd be a shame if you actually would appreciate the rhymes and you miss them because they were omitted here in this experiment in prose)�

but there I go distracting myself with housekeeping, with form and format�

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)