yes, well... no wonder why I am a complete failure at this matchmaking process, I seem to have baffled the computer and it spit out random facts and personality traits... and once upon a time I thought I had so carefully answered page after page of questions to provide a scientific representation of who I am... maybe I was thinking of cybersoulmate, which you can find linked over in the RealTime� blog if you are really interested in sharing more than the cyber passing with me... in fact, I probably was thinking of that other profile...

anyway, this is what eharmony said about communication styles and supposedly compatible traits...

Many different factors determine the communication styles with which you are most comfortable. Some individuals thrive on the challenge of pointed criticism, while others are at their best in a nurturing environment where criticism is offered as a suggestion for improvement. Each of us has a unique set of requirements and preferences. Below is a list of communication styles that will mesh well with your own. Having a partner who understands and practices these traits is important to your long-term happiness.

so as I understand that, these points are supposed to describe the person I'm looking for based on the mostly inaccurate readings eharmony already gave me about myself... shall we continue? (just for the fun and clarification of it?)...

Provide time to analyze the data before making a decision.

yes, but I need very little time to make a decision and do not like foot dragging, subterfuge, or hesitation based on insecurity or fears... know yourself and what you want and share it honestly and be open to compromise and we'll most likely get along well...

Use a tone of voice that shows sincerity.

duh... having to list this suggests phoniness to me... how about you?...

Listen sincerely.

if you do not listen sincerely, what's the point of listening?... another duh, but then, I suppose there are enough people who do not do this for it to be needed on this list... which is sad for humanity and love...

Move casually, informally.

yes, but deliberately... no wishy washy indecisive hemming and hawing please... know yourself and what you want, be yourself, express yourself, and don't lag behind... then we can relax and enjoy the comfort of trusting each other...

Provide personal support and assurance.

duh?... what's the point of any relationship without this... if you need to be reminded of this, please go away and until you learn some interpersonal skills... you might benefit from counseling or even intensive psychotherapy... especially if you are not laughing right now...

Start with a personal comment to "break the ice."

if there's ice, it's wrong... move along... we will not have to break anything or work at comfort... we will recognize each other as old friends at first sight and feel relaxed and enjoy ourselves with no effort at all...

Work to achieve mutual satisfaction.

it's seldom work, especially if we are honest (and if you have a problem being honest, go way)... it is about communication and a desire to compromise because making each other happy is as much a priority as is making ourselves happy... and above all else, believing in and actualizing honesty without harm...

Have facts and ideas in a logical order.

wrong... well, at least not every time... it's fun to feel confused and puzzle something out... there's no need to analyze everything and if you're obsessive compulsive you might want to pass me by (unless you love a challenge and can have fun with it)... be intelligent and enjoy learning about everything... have confidence in your mind and be open to new ideas... lists and schedules and maps are fine and have a place, but that's not what life is about and plans are often a waste of time... unless, of course, we are writing a story, teaching children, discussing academics, or putting together some physical object that comes in many parts marked place widget A into whatsit B and so on...

Respect quiet demeanor.

Show sincere interest as a person.

Show patience, especially when drawing out information.

yes, be patient, but share information openly and honestly and freely... nothing should need drawing out (unless we're in therapy and ideally, we shouldn't need any to communicate with each other)... if communicating is anything like pulling teeth, we're not compatible... so much of this seems obvious and yet, all this clarification is probably needed after the way eharmony first presented me... I welcome and encourage your feedback, even if your first impression of me is that we'd be a waste of time...

Be responsive toward ideas and commitments

what, you mean don't ignore each other and don�t be unreliable or unfaithful?... duh duh duh... does it eharmony think we are idiots or just socially inept?... it's almost sad, no, it is sad that people might need to be told these things, but I'll try to stay amused if you will as we move along to page four...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
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