apparently we have become a decadent society (what Faustian bargain have we bought?) and here is just a little of the proof (shhhh, we're full of secret sauces today, and how are you?)...

ah, I come to you today with the sweetly pungent stench of rotting meat and decaying food in the sink and on kitchen counters, now this makes me want to come home from a long night of sitting around and reading to my nice comfy big green chair to tell you (and all the world, or at least that small microcosm of the world that we can call my loyal {and occasional, haphazard, even} readers, each one deserving of the nobel prize for readership) all about my life in black and white...

maybe if I stick cotton up my nose...

naaaaaa, I'm a nose breather (there's a technical name for our kind, but it slips through the cracks in my memory at the moment... feel free to nomenclature me)...

it is, rather obviously if you've been returning regularly, kinda late for my morning entry... this is because I stopped to shop on the way home from work... my household stock of food supplies was running very low on protein foods and what with my renewed efforts at become all that and a buff duff (that is, apparently going to the gym daily nowadays), eating protein regularly is a might important for the old bod... so I figured I'd spend a few sawbucks on some basic fat-free and low fat proteins like the sliced turkey and the veggie-soy protein products I regularly consume, and maybe a few other things...

don't let me go shopping...

$213 and three trips (that would be about 16-18 bags) from car to apartment later, I had to rearrange the fridge and freezer to squeeze my food in there and I filled three more kitchen cabinet shelves with food... since 80% of my roommies food storage needs consists of Pepsi, they'll just have to live without twenty four twenty four ounce bottles in the fridge at all times... a six pack each will have to suffice... pondering the imbalanced diet and such a bit further, I recall taking out five bags of garbage this week... I might have filled half a bag myself, the rest was fast food and restaurant containers and empty bottles of pepsi... shame they don't recycle around here... crime, really... did I mention I worked on recycling lines in 1998 in Buffalo, NY?... Buffalo, the delightful (if decaying) little armpit of the old industrial northeast US, and there recycling awareness is higher than here in so very environmentally dependent water-soluable area of Central Florida... any wonder the education scores for this state are consistently in the bottom five out of fifty states ends with this simple fact (of course Florida would like you to look elsewhere)... of course Buffalo (ok, actually Niagara Falls) did have the Love Canal (look it up)... seriously, go ahead, I'll wait... it's important history (movie, even), after all... a Presidential order for a state of emergency doesn't happen every day and learning is not just for kids (or students... and could that be where the term hooker really turned foul?)... the innocent are guilty of ignoring the truth, so that is why they are punished and the guilty are reaping their souls... or something like that...

the preceeding distration was not in any way inspired by the current living conditions here at casa de candoor, except to chuckle at the apparent coincidence (and some voice in my head chimes in with as if there are any real coincidences and the chuckle turns to a Cheshire cat-like grin)... Rasputin emerged from his room (he got home while I was at the gym) and we started talking baseball again... studied fantasy stats for a while... and then his phone rang so I returned here (while recording a CD, by the way... did I mention I was multitasking?)... food might be another good idea, since I skipped what passes for my lunch due to the set up at work where we are short staffed and managerial cowardess (or just plain weakness and ineptitude) and inexperienced easily manipulated young staff enabling a fat person to get away with sitting 98% of her work time... pity, cuz she might be a nice person if she wasn't so buried in insecurity, obsessive compulsive hungers, and self-abuse... definitely not a healthy person I want around me much... and technically she is the supervisor, being the nurse, and she enjoys power tripping, manipulating attention and opinion, and trash talking behind backs... still, there is probably a scared little girl who could be a nice person hiding somewhere in there...

all this noticing the unhealthy people around me will probably pass once I get used to my new-found awareness as I remember what being in touch with my body and senses and... excuse me, pausing again...

hours later (ducky)...

once again, in case the ducky didn't give it away, What A Girl Wants (you remember her, right?) is on the TV... now it is cuz the library sent the CD Precious ordered (now that there's no limit on how many CDs that can be taken out at once, we have several dozen, maybe many dozen CDs around here... and a few DVDs too)... the teenager in me is totally jealous of the energy and excitement that teenagers are allowed to (supposed to) have and that adult types like me are not supposed to have... no wonder I never did like the term supposed to... or did, for that matter...

so meanwhile, social graces (and my loneliness) won out over prudent (or was that strict) dietary and budgetary plans... so instead of dealing with my hunger and fatigue by either eating food I bought or by going to sleep, I went along with them to get food... after going out the get Boston Market dinners and forgetting the garbage bags which ended up in my trunk cuz Raspy forgot his keys we forgot to take the garbage out of the trunk so it's stinking up my trunk and I'll just have to go down and get the bags and their week old pizza box over to the garbage before I fall asleep (and before the Florida bugs move into my trunk)... so I took out every bag of trash this week too... seems to be a pattern, huh?... well, as long as I'm laughing at my good nature (that is obviously too easy to take advantage of, huh?... luckily, nurturing is my favorite thing to do {and it's spoiled sometimes by my wanting appreciation, so I must remember to enjoy when I give and let the rest come as it may) and nurturing, at it's core, servitude, like Bob Dylan said, and with all the people in the world who seem to need nurturing, no wonder I am so happy so much of the time), all is well...

hopefully that made sense to you cuz it sure did to me...

now all I need to do is remember...

shall we one day explore the dumbness that leads to numbness, the pitiful stupidity that leads to the end of lucidity, the foolish insecurity that least to pretentious impurity, the indifferent crime that leads to the end of the rhyme...

oh, was that a question?...

lum dee dum de da (interesting ceiling, isn't it?... do they do stucco where you live?... if yes, what patterns have you seen in yours?... you do stare at it occasionally, don't you?... yes, I did some coke... I had to try out my new freezer cup... you see, you freeze it upside down and the liquid in it's walls stays frozen while it chills your drink... I had this small collector's bottle of coke left over from Valentine's Day when I got one each day of that week as a gift from my secret Valentine at work and I found this errant bottle when I unpacked some boxes last weekend and it was sitting there all week in the fridge just calling me and I was smiling back at it cuz it had no power over me... it was very good, though Code Red Moutain Dew (did you know about this?) is better and I have a bottle of that too but I didn't open it... and then there was the chocolate... yes, I did but those new Hershey's chocolate cup Pringle-like chip things (except the almond joys, cuz they didn't have any of those... it's news, ya know?)... one of each kind... and I had a few... can we spell wired?... and of course everybody is going to bed around here and I am bouncing off the walls {or is that bouncing around the net} so I'll burn a little energy before falling into sleep mode... and this day-long entry can come to an end... cheering optional)...

apparently (or is that obviously?... hmmm, maybe a-parent-ly is more or less accurate, huh?) the easiest way to an angst free non-whiny altogether positively happiness-filled altruistic entry (like yesterday or the day before, for instance) is to not have enough time to look around the space (or take a deep breath with my olfactory senses turned on)... now if you don't know that I am giddily giggling at my own irreverent self-teasing (euphemistically euphoric over having possibly exposed one of my secrets to eternal life, love, and immortal gleefulness {you don't have to join the glee club, but it might help}, besides the inherent curative powers of parenthetic asides within parenthetic asides, not to mention commas, ad infinitum) then you just haven't really met (or come to know) me yet... stick around, cuz (all together now) there's always hope (I hope)...

shhhh, go play now...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)