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2004-09-26 - 8:08 p.m. and so I visited new friends ok, now where was I?... ah yes, I was getting bored with being cooped up due to Jeanne (and tired of writing hurricane entries), so I took advantage of being one of the lucky millions who did not loose power this time (as opposed to the unlucky hundreds of thousands who did) and I did one of my favorite solitary in the house activities, I wandered the web a bit... so as I'm reading cat's codes the other day, I am thinking about how I have books of lists of codes like that (that eventually found their way into databases on my old computer that was stolen, though the data may still be retreivable if the stuff in storage hasn't been destroyed by ten years of changing weather on the south side of Lake Ontario) helped me remember what I thought about books and musical recordings and videos and just about everything else... I was sitting here figuring out just what her codes meant and then laughed as I scrolled and found she told... but then my mouth watered for the lists that are only on paper so there's a reason to scan the lists into a computer so they can be shared... I'll tell her that one of these days (in case you haven't read this)... and speaking of one of these days, I just may do another survey (would the answers be inciteful?... or perhaps insightful?... interesting?... for whom, I wonder?... would it teach me anything?... you?... I dunno, maybe I'm just looking for encouragement or maybe I'm just looking for the time to ponder the questions and find some seriously irreverent {but always serious} answers that would be me)... and then, of course, there's this (but that would require a camera, huh?... yeah, well)... and after all the digesting of the household disgusts and human avoidances and while the angst and the despair and the hunger to feel accomplished is compelling, it's the passion for caring and way this entry concludes that inspires me to remember who I am... and to want to hug her for a few hours... even if she did not adore so well (and you should know by now how easily I love someone who can adore), I'd love to call her friend... and then there's the energy she puts into words, well... here's a note I wrote: your way with words is addictive, seductive, entrancing, amazing, but then, I am sometimes fascinated by imaginary navel lint... ummm, ok, confession... that part after the 'but then' was meant to lighten up the compliment and keep me from coming off like some dorky stalker type idjit... too late, I suppose, since I am poured all over the internet in my blatent babble and buffonery (and that is the working title of my supposedly not yet started autobiography, so nobody steal it and shhhh, don't tell)... but no worries, I am harmless and I will fall in love with you tomorrow for I have socks to wash today... and then suddenly, or maybe one day, this found me... knowing why i love, and am loved. finding that destination. searching for eternity. this is my euphoria.... I am not sure if I wrote it or read it, but I wrote it in my head whether I read it first or second or whenever... and that's what I was getting to before we were so rudely interrupted (see previous entry for gorey details)... I think the sky is getting lighter...
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