no such luck, alas, of course, naturally, obviously, we live within human rules, after all... but i am out here waving at you anyway, so if you understand, you can drop a few words of support and whatever any way you'd like, or just smile and let me know we exist after midnight, even if the human rule says all god's children should be home in bed, chaste and pure and fast asleep... i am obviously on the wrong planet...

and just when you thought you read the final version of this entry, here is an expanded part two that you did not see yesterday if you did visit and read yesterday and if you did not visit and read yesterday, you missed yet another multi-layered progression of the babbler's craft, or art, to use the term loosely... pity we do not have the time to share more, or create together, but these are our choices and chosen lives and you are hopefully enjoying yours s much (if not more than) i am enjoying mine so it's all good, no matter how much better it might be if we were together... teasing is a way of life, you know?...

and amused as i am (and sarcastic and irreverent and silly and all that) at my attempts at brevity in (e)thereal and my attempts at bringing you into RealTime�, in other daily writing spaces, this is the real, my way... babbling... especially on a day off where vegetation took precedence over any other activities... you know, here i sit so all alone, nobody to talk to, a silent phone, or something like that... i wrote it in my infancy, for the few who might remember... whippoorwills must be about tonight (as are understatements, aye?... thanks for caring)...

wow, sarcasm, but was it obvious?...

how about my laughter?...

the rub, ah, the bard knew it all along, maybe, or maybe that's just a classical reference for the search engines... in any case, there's the rub.,.. i am so dang independently secure (yeah, more than ever) that i suck at this lonely days stuff even when i am feeling a profound bout of the lonelies drowning me... as the dark ocean of helplessness and worthlessness and death-by-loneliness surrounds me i just imagine growing gills and swimming around with the fish and elanor rigby and whatever else might be under the sea... all the lonely people, ya know?... the weightlessness of under water life would be a great relief from gravity, actually... but i am lonely, dammit, lonely as i've ever been (and as a few of you may know, i have been powerfully lonely in this life)... i just don't feel as mostly dead as i used to though, so the lazy pity party isn't coming, just the silly babble pretending there's no way out of some imaginary death-trap deep dark abyss of depression or something (ever wonder what lives in the black holes?)...

but somebody must hear me and understand and be feeling alone like this... maybe i am just not reaching enough of the seven billion people on the planet... after all, not all seven billion can read and far fewer can probably understand my dialect of usa english... obviously, but even more obviously, i am probably not beaming my personal energy and identity into space for the other planetary peoples to find... i don't get invited to the interplanetary parties much anymore... they must have taken my depressive whining seriously or something and mistaken me for a human... omigosh, what have i done?... no wonder i feel like a who on this planet shouting out i am here i am here i am here over and over again... where's my horton when i need him?... a space horton, obviously...

so what else is new?... maybe i'll wander down for a rare trip to the gym (after being off work for six days, i decide it might be a good time for a 4am visit to the gym on the night i am to return to work... can there be any more obvious signs of the rebel-child being alive and kicking in me?)... yeah, i am obviously going through a phase that few have experienced with me, i think... the child inside is testing the limits again and it gets more dangerous with each passing year... does anybody care, he silently ponders as he looks out on the world from the top of some precarious cliff, balanced ever so casually, as if the fall will be just another adventure...

speaking of death (oh were we?), i was reading the thelemapedia today and was reminded of the last words attributed to rabelais, "I am off to a great perhaps" (or something like that) which inspired my smile and hope for sharing, someday, even in the great perhaps... but most of all, was reminded of the folly of human minds attempting to control other human minds through ritual and rules of behavior and even more ridiculous, through rules of thought, as if the individual human mind could not (or should not) think for itself... as much as there are valuable lessons in the words of every written path, there is mostly folly and detriment in the attempt to write a bible or any sort of rules to live by beyond the first page, or even, the first line... the inevitable conflicts and detrimental effects of such loyalties and enemies, inclusions and exclusions, and complexities of rules divide and weaken the doctrine and therein, the human experience... but from another perspective, just as i seek someone to play with and ultimately, when sleep comes, to curl up with tonight, we all seek what we feel we need at any given moment in life... so to each his or her own, aye?... i still laugh with the concept and wonder of rabelais's quote though... and now, this entry is obviously a classic, even though i didn't mention shakespeare...

obviously...

maybe i meant obliviously?...

well, tomorrow is yet another workday, so have fun :)

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)