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last---past---next---now
�2006 Candor Communications


2004-01-16 - 4:29 p.m.

about stalkings, raps, public diaries, worshipping at odd alters, the preservation of ancient rock stars, love at first site, and the fall...


see, I wish I knew this guy... or that...

I want to create a public diary... the catch phrase will be "these people do not exist" with variations and expansions that might include "but if you use your imagination you might be able to hum and few bars" or possibly therefore neither do you... I had a better catch phrase add-on, but it slipped my mind when the Rolling Stones concert started... Licks The World... what a tongue on that guy... and they said it wouldn't last...

meanwhile, my idea for the other public diary I want to create is still on the drawing board cuz Andrew and Co. is (or is that are?) still fixing this... if that link opens to an actual page of instructions, then it must be fixed... but for the past week or two it has opened to a page that simply said hold on, fixing this... what a time for such delays... seeds die if they are held in germination for too long... or they could, really...

watching the Rolling Stones is really kind of scary... are the words profound enough to be heard over the music and be repeated so often all these years?... is the music so magnifiscently structured as to warrent continued revolutions through our auditory senses?... are the faces really so pretty as to demand our attention and graphic sexual fantasies even now as they wrinkle and shrivel right before our eyes?... maybe the most amazing thing is that they are still together... maybe even more amazing is that they are still alive... drugs?... they fly in the face of all the anti-drug campaigns... they are living evidence that the judicious use of drugs might not be as harmful as all the nay-sayers would have you believe... especially formaldehyde...

I am, of course, joking...

about the formaldehyde... you should always be very careful with drugs... especially drugs you can not spell... that should be a rule you live by... if you can not spell the drug, don't use it without parental supervision... and if you parents can not spell the drug, then they probably didn't follow this rule... you don't have to be like them... you can step away from the generational repetition and be your own people... yes, it might seem like tearing your heart out and leaving your soul behind, but the heart is used as a metaphor to slow actual sensory perception and the soul is used as a metaphor (or it could be a similie or other literary invention) to slow evolutionary enlightenment and awareness... not by me, of course... I'd never do that...

did I mention that the last entry just concluded?... yes, there was virtually no pause (actually, not just virtually) beyond the time it took you to click on next, if you clicked on next... if you did not click on next, then the last entry still just ended but the effct of this paragraph may be lost on you... of course it has a different effect then, even if you do not read the previous entry... or the one before that which is much better, if you like going to the gym and subtle masturbatory fantasies that might or might not climax... but then, there are better entries than that one even, much... n fact, you can participate in the contest as soon as I figure out how to create the contest... I think I need a small text box in which you would enter a page address as your answer to the question what is your favorite page?... or maybe a counter type script on each page that automatically records your vote for that particular page as a favorite page when you click on if this entry is a favorite entry, click here... that would be so cool, I mean, for a feedback junkie such as myself... who knows Perl or some sort of simple scripting that could do that on virtually any page?... come on, you can do it...

until then, just send an email with the page address in it... yes I know the pain in the arse that can be and therein that will skew the results dramatically, but it's a start... DLand stats?... they are skewed too by random surges in popularity and limited accumulations of data... and besides, they are not accessible for free accounts such as this one... what?... you didn't know what to get me for Xmas or Chanukah or Ramsdala or whatever holiday you celebrate with gifts? (I celebrate them all equally, which varies from year to year)... well now you do... the gift link is on the left with all the other links... I won't be so selfish as to put on right here in this paragraph... at least not today...

see, sometimes even the most extreme boredom of a life can be interrupted by fantasies of having friends and sharing some odd rambles and relatively meaningless ramblings with them... as if they cared... you do, right?... care, I mean... ah, my wonderful, lovable, adorable imaginary friends... whatever would we do without each other?...

please allow me to introduce myself I am a man of wealth and taste... or at least I used to be... but then, taste is bought by wealth you know... it's all in the way you carry it off... have no sympathy, we make our own beds and mine is quite comfortable... but then, I can sleep on concrete and be comfortable... comfort is an internal commodity, an inversional creation requiring only synapses firing in unison... the same can be said for peace, security, passion, sensuality, perception, sensation, existence, consciousness, awareness, enlightenment, and virtuosity (among many other words and states of being, big and little)... though the occasional odd dance step might help...

some of us need more help than others though...

some of you may know that I fall in love at the click of a link, I mean, I can glance at a page and spend a few moments visuall drinking a few words and/or images and fall in love... I guess it's kind of like falling in love at first sight (a phenomenon I still believe in even if it never happens to me... it has happened to me, but has never happened to me, if that makes any sense to you... but that's besides the point)... the point is it has happened again (it has happened before, in fact, many times (and eventually you might find dozens of links where these few are now when I look back and remember some more of those who inspired love at first site... actually, that is another name for a diary/page I want to create, but that is even yet still another story)...

I have learned that such instantaneous outpourings of raw emotion scare the crap out of a lot of people and get in the way (often preventing or destroying any sharing that there might have been), so I have learned to just mention it and refrain from any stalking... actually, I don't think I ever actually stalked anybody who did not request to be stalked in writing numerous times, and not before we slept together... and it was fun for all concerned and concluded when it was no longer fun for one of us... my idea of stalking is more like tickling than haunting, unless you enjoy a good haunting as I do... but some do not even like to be tickled by a stranger from afar so I just mention my undying passionate fantasy and move along abruptly as if I was never there... but I digress again...

sometimes it's just genius... and obviously there is a browsing entry bubbling up from the babble in this entry... just when I was salt-petering out, or so we thought... who thought?... did we think?... how thoughtless...

but before we go on another clickathon in search of the holy grail or something like that, let's focus on the task at hand, whatever that may be... this entry was about... ummmm... what the hell is this entry about anyway?... ah yes, ways to pass what for most is a workday afternoon... see, working nights, I either sleep through the rest of the world's workday or I sit here rambling on in a semi-stupor because I am staying up way past my bedtime, sometimes with the assistance of self-induced sugar shock... occasionally caffienated... I long ago gave up formaldehyde, so I may not be as well preserved as Keith or Mick when I reach their ripe old age, but that might be a good think... after all, I am no aging rock star (shhhh, don't tell anyone, you wouldn't want to blow the fantasy... and there are better ones than that if you dare to search... and believe)...

I have not gathered you all here to discuss the upcoming Presidential election, though that gratuitous link phrase might have brought you to this entry via some google search and you are wondering if this is the secret platform of some yet undeclared candidate... well, once Arnold did his think, I knew we were in good hands... after all, who wouldn't want to be looked after by a Kindergarten Cop who can really kick ass?)... but you know all that and can move along now, nothing to see here...

I promise that if you stalk me I will not call the police... I might lure you into a trap and blow your ass off the face of the Earth if you harm me or anybody else, but I really doubt I'd call the police, not even a kindercop, for I don't really think they have time for stalkers and it just fuels the stalker's delusions of gradiour and need for fantasy attention... I might give you a whole lot more actually attention than you ever set out to get, so stalk at your own risk... and if you are a great tease, you just might come to find a well places hand arousing you from sleep... so dream of me, do, and well...

at your own risk, of course...

and speaking of raps... I was never a man to force reproduction so watch your lips and respect their suction as you toy with your own vanity cuz seduction is insanity and there is something you ought to know when playing with a libido remember when you were a kid there are few limits for an id and that could get you in trouble leave you world in a pile of rubble so think twice on the double unless you're Barney Rubble and can live in a cartoon reality... for the rest of us there's no cure for this malady...

we could have mastered a different plan if we understood the ways of man but being one with a poisoned cup we had no choice but to fuck up so listen man with your garbage can full of precious waste that you didn't plan it's a limited time offer to understand the power you have in your hand there is no one gonna save your ass so you better get yourself up fast with a hey hey hi hi ho ho ho get your heart to real or it's time to go...

still, I didn't come here to save the world... at least not that I recall... I didn't come here to preach of love... I came here to fall...






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