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2004-02-22 - 5:48 p.m. sleep and... nothing (TV?) time for the writing was traded for sleep... I slept at least twelve hours today, so maybe it was a subconscious reaction to the volume of words posted yesterday (did you notice?) or perhaps an even deeper unconscious reaction to the date which leads back to unfinished business that can only be finished with the help of someone else who is out of touch and whereabouts unknown today and stuff without closer needs more time than a day can hold... and this being a day I must work (in a few hours) and still should get to the gym and do the food thing and the shower thing and so on... laundry?... another weekend slips by, so I am going to attempt to do some tomorrow... the TV is blaring E! with the red carpet show for the SAG Awards, roomies are doing their thing, and I am tired of glancing up at beautiful faces selling themselves and products I don't want while distracted by banal conversation that is supposed to be somehow newsworthy... so little is actually said, yet the show is four hours... I wonder if I ever really enjoyed these award shows... I recall looking forward to them when I was with a life partner that enjoyed them, but I am not as big a fan when I am alone... stupidity = empowering lonelines = lack of enthusiasm... and then the question, given the opportunity, would I jump into the life of celeb?... ambivalently... I'd love the creative aspects, the work, the play, the meaningful sharing that could happen behind the scenes... I'd do my best to tolerate the public pretenses and avoid the superficiality like the plague, much as I di in the non-celeb life I lead... so I might be just as lonely, but the reason for jumping into it would be the potential for more attention and in more interaction, the potential for more depth... and the money... pay me to talk or just stand in front of a camera?... that would be nice work, for a while at least... it is amazing how many highly touted shows and well-known celebrities I have never seen and do not recognize... and am I missing anything?... only the conversation someone real might want to have about some celeb or something on TV... but TV itself, the programming (and the commercials), interests me less and less with each passing year... so here I am rambling on for a few paragraphs in an entry about it for more than an hour instead of getting down to the gym or throwing in a laundry or making a phone call or anything else more personally useful... yes, duh... I'm off to the gym...
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