so where have I been?... treading water... slowly rushing through the same getting-old routine, work, write, sleep, eat, bathe, work, all with the TV on offering sweet libido escapes and banal distractions... the decades weigh heavy on my shoulders... these are the days of the mid-life... these are the nights of ambivalence...

and the TV is on (naturally, with constant coaxing to watch)...

I accomplished nothing today... sometimes I feel like I may have joined the ranks of idiots... repeating the same dumb habits each day with so little creativity, no ethereal qualities, and constantly being distracted by other people (mostly fictitious) playing out the same old scripted lives... so how to make this boring life more interesting for me (and for you, dear few but treasured readers... one way would be to come here much less often... and only when I am in a cleverly irreverent, silly amusing, maybe even interesting to read mood)... perhaps I should browse more and find interesting things to ramble on about (yes, distracting us from the sameness of the daily routine might work, but then, should daily life become spending the few hours of free time I have browsing the web while Tim the Tool Man tries to distract us with subtle silliness)... I suppose I could be caught up in reading so much I don't know what is real anymore... then if I get depressed, I can change channels... somehow, that seems like a less of self...

so there must be other ways... after all, this is not the browsing diary anyway... what's to say after sleeping all day?... not much, especially since I am open to the distractions around me... did I mention that the mail-person is an idiot?... I'm not sure how else to explain why the phone was turned off today... a week before we moved in I filled out address change cards and gave them to the mail-person... the day we moved in I filled out a yellow address card and followed the instructions on it, leaving it in the mailbox... Precious has been picking up the mail each day (obviously I should have been checking myself, but I don't have any need to check mail daily) and for the first week it appeared that the mail was coming to us properly... a week later, after apparently getting our mail correctly forwarded on time for the whole week, there's another yellow card along with our mail... the next day, another, still along with our mail... then a few days or so later Precious tells me there's been no mail for a few days... that's the norm for me, but she said she was expecting a priority package... apparently the mail stopped coming... so I filled out another yellow card last week and gave it to Precious to put in the mailbox and she reported the mailbox remained empty... today, mail arrived... of course the phone bill (and other bills) were in there... the phone bill was mailed on the third...

obviously the local phone company is stocked with idiots as well... when I called this morning, they claimed there was no notation of my three hours on the phone with them just about ten days ago when they were unable to figure out why I didn't get my $200 rebate for the DSL service Rasputin turned on back in September of last year... I've been paying all the utility bills, including DSL, even though I've yet to use the DSL cuz my computers were not hooked up to it cuz they are old... Raspy wanted the DSL (one of these days I'll get the bills together and we'll balance accounts)... I asked the phone company to send me the bills from the start of the account in September and they said they would... no notation on my account that I even spoke to anyone about the rebate or the bills... so the turn off the phone?... well, it took less than five minutes to turn it back on and there was no mention of any fees or anything, so they obviously made yet another error... and once again the CSR apologized for the confusion at their end... oh, the humanity...

so I didn't get much writing done this morning... and the commercial TV babbles on loud and clear around here... one of these nights I'm going to find the question why do we have two TVs for Precious? coming to my lips, but it's not as if I want to watch anything... a little music or silence might be nice once in a while... where are my headphones, anyway?...

I did make copies of a few of the library CDs (so who said I didn't accomplish anything today?... musta been some idiot)... and I think it is time to walk over to the gym...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)