ok, so as usual I exaggerate... and even there I exaggerated because I don't always exaggerate, just sometimes, so it's not exactly as usual, is it?... yes well, who asked for precise precision language, anyway?... it's like who asked for precise precision identity, for that matter... or whatever matter might matter to you... I am what I am (not a yam, not Popeye, but definitely part toon (as in cartoon character)...



be that as it may be or not to be, I must be asleep any moment now (and could be already, for all the sense I am making, aye?)... it's all his fault... or is he a she... how would I know, we're all genderless and surreal online, after all... even the guy sitting in the Newton chair at Cambridge (or is that Oxford?... I dunno, is that where they make plain black shoes?) could not be absolutely certain of anything from the sub-quark imaginary particles to the belief that there really is a solid object in the sky we call the moon...



I mean, what if it was all done in a studio like Andy Kaufman suggested?... would you go out and start wrestling women too?... we all do what we do for reasons only we know and sometimes even we don't know the reasons we do what we do, but we do it just the same (or perhaps slightly differently accounting for uniquenesses and time zones), but similar enough to be considered a single species...



what would the apes do?...

and would it be great?

so what do I know, the world is a vampire... and speaking of blood sucking leeches, are most people energy vampires or is it just me?... I dunno, I suddenly get this profoundly drained feeling now and then after dealing with people and all I want to do is curl up and play with a puppy... or a baby... or myself... not all simultaneously though... sometimes I just want a mommy...



and just think, the guy sitting in the Newton chair at Cambridge (or Oxford) can't even sit in the Newton chair, so what's the different where it is... it's all relative... yet people focus on just one thing because they are afraid of the big picture... a black man is a black man... a woman in a wheelchair can't walk... a woman comfortable with nudity is easy... a blind man can't see... a child should be seen and not heard... but stop...



nothing is that one dimensional... what if you didn't have a nose... you could still smell really bad... and if Ten-Fingers Louie looses a finger in a boating accident, does that change his identity?... is the sky blue in your world?...



so anyway, I must be awake in some few hours to go back to work and then to breakfast with Bert (yet another excuse not to get to the gym this week, but I did do 546 calories last time and 2.89 imaginary miles in the 30 minutes on the elliptical lifecycle thing, so improvement is better than mudsliding downward into a pathetic blob of horseflesh... or cow, for that matter... but still, I must focus on returning to the gym more often once I get on to the day shift (tentative start date for leaving the dual jobs behind is the 11th...



yay! J



and are we really stuck in a parenthetic tangent again?)... guess not.. but I've got some paths to wander and people to ponder for this weekend if there time... and much appreciation for the telephone time to you wonderful people calling me recently... I wish I had more time for that... and more daytime minutes too (right?)...



so anyway, I just stopped by to tell you I love you and to thank you for being there and here... thank you for messing with my head... I mean, you are too profound and intellectual and brilliant and thinking in ways my brain loves to imagine as it laughs at itself for tripping over it's untied shoes... someday I wanna be an absent minded professor... I've already got the absent minded part down pat... but I love you wherever you are and wish you a heaping big portion or the real in your RealTime� and a whole lotta love too...



and speaking of mental orgasms, serenity (I suddenly hear the Firefly song when I type your name and that's a big grin), thank you so much for giving me the feeling that life is the end of the Wizard of Oz from the epiphany of each of the characters in costume in Oz and in work clothes on the farm (and who's to say one person's costume is not another person's work clothes, come to thing of it)... I am so inspired to believe in love again after reading you that I just wanna go out and hug people at random...



I think I'll start with trees and other things that don't hit back though...



so I am giddy with amusement at myself and high on the ideas and emotions I am reading (and so many others have not been mentioned, some highlighted over on the right) and so full of appreciation than I am dripping syrupy all over myself like a maple tree with a big divot knocked out of it's side... why does that bring a sudden image of Jesus on the cross to mind?... eeek, I am hyperhallucinating hyperbole and juxtaposing the literary visuals in my poor wittul head... what's wittul, like Tweety Bird only smaller...



and perhaps the higher you fly the wider you berth, but z0tl knows too well the beginning, middle, and end of love and the jury remains bound and gagged in deliberation over whether trying again after the first (and deepest) cut is worth it... but the sun will come out tomorrow, annie, and I am blessed to know you know me... and ariza, I hope to hear you play someday...



and I love absotively posilutely LOVE the-moo...



today I am loving RealTime� and everything, so get on with it, people... take hold of your life and spread your wings, unfurl your sails, and reach for the wind... for it is not what you catch that matters as much as what you reach for...



and don�t forget to vote for Meg and Dia for me and for my girls... yeah, my girls in the doghouse, they bad... oh you just have to cuz you just wanna have fun too...



and play... make some time to play today... and believe you are worth it, for that is the secret to the universe... believing you have the right to enjoy yourself and your life... and that is the answer blowing in the wind... believing in something within yourself is connected to everything...



imagine...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)