dubbed The Most Honorable z0tl the Haunted of Bow under Bumpstead by this one, the a flash of the fierce passion and basic structure (or hierarchy) of the z0tl context reveals itself briefly in the following text recovered from archives buried somewhere in a land long ago and far away:

teh z?tl board of director:z

dubbedor some such shit and how to get over the eternal repetion of daily nonsense. i think once more i'm over whatever i started yesterday and would like to reiterate for the umpteenth time that go rabbit go and dig another hole and when the work is finally done, go and dig another one!

!!!! THE AKATHESIA OF BEING !!!! life is a neuroleptic disaster !!!! WHALESHITPIGCOCKSUCKING LEECHES !!!!

(insert flaming eight ball in your mind)

Big ball:z of Faya! i don't walk the 8fold path, if i've ever seen a more shitheaded w0rd than 'path' obliterate my wayless way, a pig has a penis resembling a corkscrew, have you seen one?

Sitting around the octogonal conference table, teh z?tl board members discussed the intergalactic future of the present past.

Chairman z8tl was blue in the face. Opaquely Endarkened Sheep z0tl was missing again, lost for another eternity or two, trying to figure out the Great Matter of Wool Shearing. Unsheepishly characteristic of IT, didn't even bother to excuse ITself from the bikalpanian (once a fortzight, substitute aeons for days) board meeting.

Turtle Ninjas z2/3tl were playing their gameboys as usual, waiting for their next mission with a surplus of shurikens stuck in their underwears to last a few lifetime:z.

Death Master z7tl hadn't been using his weapon de riguer since fighting Bodhisattva Manjusri over who can unsheath the scythe/sword faster and cut through the thoughts of unrelenting boredom.

DNA Mangler z4tl, expert decompiler of carbon based helixes and spiraloids in general, thought it was time for a career change, either IT'll be allowed to upgrade everything to 4 stranded dna with 8 base pair:z or perhaps it was time to move on to growing silicon based snail:z!

z6tl was tired of manifesting various demonic ideas of Satan Lucifer van der Fallen One. z5tl was the only one still content doing ITs evyl things, evyl ways were still quite trendy everywhere.

z1tl may have graduated to being 1, but still had zits to deal with, no matter which skin implement IT tried using, going around trying to impress the New Age fairies was becoming quite an impossible task.

with z0tl's chair free, Imperial Financial Officer z$tl of teh z?tl Hegemony bound to IT, happy to not have to give his HoloLazer(tm) presentation while madly spiraling around the room at superluminal speed:z as usual. his quantum restlessness was uncertain at best.

Secretary and Universal Mistress z*tl brought refreshments for everyone. teh b0ard meeting was about to manifest from the begingless beginning!

Chairman z8tl bellowed: "TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW PINHEAD:Z!"

At that, no one could utter a w0rd, however z7tl telepathically told z*tl IT forgot to bring in the salt shaker and some pepper wouldn't hurt either & one more time IT disturbs the ritual:z and IT will finally have a good reason to unsheath the goddam rusty scythe and what the fuck is up with that pansy name IT took, kissy kissy z*tl idjot, i should chop up your cosmic string:z into neutrinos and send you into the x1-cygnus galley:z right NOW! right? right.

z8tl resumed in his usual wrathfool style: "YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING INITIATE A muZiKal chair:z GAME THEN, is THAT what I DON'T HEAR? WHO HERENOW is attached to their chair, raise an attribute and make IT known!"

z*tl fluttered by and murmured into z8tl's ears, "you have been reading way too much of that zelazny's lord of light seahorseshit, relax the rhetoric a bit, step your ass down from your ascended self and ask these bloke:z to raise hands, like normal people do. we are dealing with those peoploid kind and their rampant imaginations, no?"

z8tl: "FUCK YOUR GENETRIX MACHINE, z4tl, & the DAY you let the Rim Stalkers bring back the Tryl. & now what's going to happen? That moron A.A. Attanasio is vegetating on some Hawaiian Island, begging for me to order one of these z2/3tl idiots to bury him in lava and black ninja ashes one of these days, it is all in limbo, he won't write his sequels anyway, his work is done, z7tl i ask you too, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?"

z7tl: "is that a rhetorical question or were you expecting a miracle?"

z8tl: "enough clicks wasted. tell us the situation, mr. z$tl!"

z$tl: "Revenues from z4tl's GENETRIX projects are dropping rapidly. It's not because we don't find enough World Builders to rematerialize from GENETRIX scans, it is because the level of boredom among the Ascended Riders (who are our only customers) is increasing at exponential level:z!

What I'm saying is that these guys have experienced everything we tend to be able to offer, or at least a close variation of what we still have to offer, so they are losing interest. They are content with what we've given them so far and refuse to buy more stuff unless it's significantly different. We either have to luck out and find new stuff to recreate or we have to figure out a way to improve GENETRIX to the point it can recreate from the imagination of the beings that we've brought back and are capable of that."

z8tl: "THE HEGEMONY IS OUT OF BUSINESS! keep your fucking fact:z straight, yo! Now quickly bring everybody up to speed on how this GENETRIX contraption operates."

z$tl: "z4tl is the techie, i'm just the guy running the dog and pony show:z and keep the click count!"

z4tl: "well basically matter beings exist, their light disperses, you put a GENETRIX box 8 million light years away from an interesting region of space with a worthy civilization swimming around there somewhere, you keep scanning for a while, use some quantum entanglement tricks and then rematerialize the whole thing close enough to whoever has a use for that stuff."

z8tl: "why are the Ascended Riders our only customer:z?"

z$tl: "because they are the only non-corporeal species we know of who can overlay their consciousness matrix over any kind of biological life form and actually perceive exactly what their hosts experience; they also feed on the endorphins released by the hosts.

otherwise, for all corporeals we know, all they want is holographic/force field bullshit simulators so they can immerse themselves in movies that give them cheap thrills... they have no use and are scared shitless of what we do anyway. if we were to pop a world into their backyard, that would most definitely not be a harmless movie, it'll be grounds for interspecies conflict.

the Ascended Riders have no use for being in movies. all they want is to experience actual beings and feed on the endorphins their brains release as they go about acting out their lives. even if we were to develop technology to create artificial endorphins to be released by holographic/force field simulation:z, which we can't do anyway so far, most likely they would find that kind of stuff completely unappealing and, well, completely fake too."

z8tl: "i still don't get the problem!"

z$tl: "whatever is out there that we are able to find and scan and recreate with our GENETRIX technology is becoming boring to the Ascended Riders. they have pretty much experienced every fucking experience, every fucking endorphin in every biological being that we've been able to bring to them. they are content with what we've given them and we aren't able to offer anything significantly different for them to want it."

z8tl: "i still don't get the problem! what is it, you are running out of new worlds and civilizations to scan and recreate?"

z$tl: "no, we are running out of time in finding stuff that's novel for them and they are losing patience. this stuff we're doing is very time consuming. we set up a GENETRIX machine, we let it scan, let's say we scan a star system with a few m-class planets that have a diverse biological spectrum of beings. we scan it for 10 years, we can't contract it out to the world builders before we finish the scan and we can't really tell what the hell's going on during that period either.

sometimes we scan for 10 years and after year 1, that particular civilization destroys itself. the Ascended Riders are happy to experience the extinction of a civilization, but they get pissed for having expected a 10 years worth of experiences.

now they've seen enough end of the world scenarios, they've seen enough biological type of beings, they are simply getting bored.

z8tl: "i'm bored to tear:z as well! remind me what is it that these Ascended Riders are doing for us that we're always so anxious to please them? most certainly i could give a flying bloo fuck if the Hegemony vanquished from existence tomorrow."

z7tl: "allow me. no one here gives a fuck whether z$tl's Hegemony survives. as much as i would love to never see that dimwit z0tl sit at this table again, if anyone of us gave up a chair, it would not be z$tl sitting there permanently, that could never change.

however, the Ascended Riders, as much as it pains me to admit, are key to our dreams of learning how to splice timelines and RETURN whence we departed from. as it is, many of us have taken a parallel path and explored different permutations of the future, but no one ever comes back to compare notes.

now i'm not one to whine about risking eternal aloneness and when my boredom reaches unbearable level:z, i too may chance departure and spin off my own universe in hopes i happenstance upon One unbound by Time, but realistically speaking, without help from the Ascended Riders, we'll all spread into the 11 direction:z and THAT'll be THAT."


... to be continued? baaaaaaaaaahahaha, make me laff until i shit ITself!

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
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