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2005-10-12 - 10:48 p.m. work crap well, tonight's entry was eaten by the MS computer gods... it was mostly about a rather frustrating night at the hospital (which is officially the worst managed place I've ever worked)... a few rather scathing lyrical ditties were written and now join the rest of the poof that must be some level of hell where corrupted files containing lost words and creative spirit are buried, never to be known again, or the first time, for that matter... alas... burp... SO this and the next few entries are reconstituted, kind of what a computer might call a recovery document... the file containing the entry for this date was corrupted somehow and lost... unfortunately it was a quite cathartic release of frustration over crap happening at work and the gratification of release was erased, along with the peace it brought, by computer error... I saved, I pulled out the disk, I turned the computer off... and the next time I opened the file it was all boxes and symbols, no words, gone, lost, crashed, sucks... with this in mind, the tone of the next few entries may well be darker and less hopeful and horribly downbeat... it is time to work through it... aherm... very frustrating night last night... one of the problemmatic kids decided it was time to wake up some other kids around 3am while I was left alone on the unit (one of those mismanagement decisions the shift charge nurse frequently makes to make her life on her side of the hospital easier)... one of our staff was already floated to the other side of the hospital, leaving us with just two staff for twenty kids... my partner for the night, a news staff who is still not trained in intervention techniques (which means I am basically on my own as all she can do is talk and watch) went on her break... a couple of kids were already awake and that's when the problemmatic kid woke and decided to wake others... I settled things down and called over to the other side of the hospital for assistance... about five minutes later, the shift charge nurse walks over to our side of the hospital all bundled up (I found out later that they had to find her and wake her)... I asked why no one was sent over when I called for assistance... she left to find the nurse who was in charge of our unit... she returned to read me the rulebook, that I must go through protocol, that I must call the nurse first and she is to call the shift charge and the shift charge is to decide if help is needed... wrong... in an emergency or potential emergency you call a 'silent code' at night because using the paging system wouyld wake up kids... I pointed out that there was still no trained staff on the unit beside myself (neither nurse was approved to use the proper intervention techniques should the kids get violent), so she was still allowing a potentially dangerous situation to continue... she repeated the protocol rule (meaningless) so I told her to go to hell (not my most professional moment, but I needed this incident to blow up a bit so I could take it to upper management and I knew she'd use my statement to put it out there herself) and walked away saying we'll discuss the incidents of the night at the next meeting with the director... ultimately we were lucky... I was able to settle the kids down on my own... but if the situation did get out of hand and the kids got violent, it would have been a mess because no one responded to my call... the frustration for me was the typical bureacratic response from the selfish shift charge who made a decision that put kids in jeopary (not sending a staff to respond to an emergency call) and then, while I am still dealing with the kids (without help), read a protocol manual to me... the lack of communication and hiding behind rules to keep from having to deal with the kids is dangerous, but that is the overall mind-set of andministration so I don't expect much support... I will document it at the highest levels and the shift charge will most likely get a reprimand, but little will change (it's happened before)... I doubt the shift charge nurse will actually want administration to look into it, but there's no telling just what power trip she'll try next and she just may be stupid enough to think she was right and her mistakes will be ignored if she twist the report well enough... luckily I have witnesses... she's been getting memos written by higher administration more often lately because some staff on her side of the hospital argued with her too much in recent weeks about rules she tried to put in place (violating federal labors laws in at least one case)... as much support as they'll give her, I doubt they'll support a non-response to an emergency call... in an unrelated frustration, today I was awakened by my phone a few times... my doctor's office confirming an appointment for tomorrow for the second time in two days (communication)... and she wants to do more tests on my liver?... generally work crap like this doesn't hang around in my head, but it's the lingering now because I vented the frustration by writing a bit and felt great to release the stress and express the situation in a creative rhyming way (my therapy) and today I find that the MSWord file is corrupted and poof, all that venting and creative output (a couple of rhymes popped out) are gone... the universe said suck it up and shut up... fuck me.
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