I am not quite yet sleeping, or even nodding off in the chair... I think it might be because I am not in the big green chair this morning and I am sitting downwind from the air conditioner in a soaking wet T-shirt and nearly soaking wet shorts and socks, even... yes, I returned from the gym and fell into the leather chair that substitutes for a desk chair at the desktop computer at the window box, otherwize known as the solarium... it's what they call an indoor room where other people would have an outdoor balcony... since there's only parking lot noises out in front of this building, we opted for the indoor room instead of the outdoor balcony and so I sit in the solarium (am I becoming repetitive?... must be groggier than I thought)... anyway, now that I think of it, yesterday's entry might be on the laptop after all (there's always hope, though this time I don't think it would be any great loss at all)... but enough about yesterday, on to today... ummmm, welcome again...

I finished Neverwhere and I am now officially seriously enamoured with Neil Gaiman (almost as much as I am in love with Douglas Adams and Richard Bach)... for all the amazing talents filling the works of Charles Dickens, Stephen King, and other favorites, the irreverence (and stong taste of droll) always seems to win me over most (if should surprise no one that the Monty Pythons rank among my favorite writers of the twentieth century)... Sir Gaiman (for certainly he'll ne knighted one day, being British and funny and a bit too off the wall to ignore, besides being a clever little genius at that) has pressed wonderful buttons in me with Neverwhere and I agree whole heartedly with Tori Amos who said "I didn't ever want this book to end...", among other things... and to think, I waited years to get back into reading and fingering through his work... whatever was I doing back in the late nineties when he was making his debue on the full-length novel scene?... oh yes, I was helplessly in love and getting my head (and heart and soul and life and death handed to me for it... if only I had stumbled upon Door instead)...

so what do I really think?... if you enjoy Douglas Adams, Tim Burton, Stephen King, Monty Python, Charles Dickens, and Arlo Gurthie, you should enjoy Neil Gaiman... Alice in Wonderland meets The Gunslinger meets The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and they never have to leave London... well, sorta... it is, much like Hitchhiker a film I would love to be part of (pick me, pick me)... and a life I would trade for this one in a heartbeat... probably... maybe... well, why not...

I'd rather be wandering the galaxy with Zaphod Beetlebrox and Arthur Dent, but I'd love to be honored with safe passage through London below as well... of course I am a sucker for a waif-in-need (much more than I am for a damsel-in-distress, actually... damsels usually appear too entitled for my tastes, whereas waifs seldom actually expect to be saved or helped or cared about, even and usually have much more self-sufficient survival skills than any damsel might have, but this is merely my personal opinions, tastes, and if I let them get out of hand, prejudices so I'll stop feeding the beast now)...

my life for comraderie, apparently...

you know, if you truly believe in the philosophy put into song by Edward Young and Victor Heyman when I fall in love, it will be forever (excuse me, I was distracted by some people I wish I had time to check out more (bookmarked for someday) and then some music that lead me to (or from) her who was also added (to the someday list, doesn't everybody have one?) and somehow I was sidetracked (or was that kidnapped) by them (now you know who them are, don'tcha) when suddenly, I slipped over here for a moment before wanting to hear more music so where were we?)...

ah, yes, for those of you who believe in the Princess Bride (from Disney to Terminator) version of true love, my life for love...

also, I must have food... in fact, I shall pause now to find food, since my blood sugar and life-force is dwindling to naught after working all night and then pushing myself at the gym in the past twelve hours since eating last... you wouldn't want me to dwindle to naught, now would ya?...

I decided on cereal... Kasha is my primary cereal brand, especially since starting to work out... it's high protein, low fat cereal... more carbs than I need if I am not doing endurance workouts, but sometimes that's ok... I have been back to soy milk again too... there's some good chocolate soy milk out there now... it's been years since I lived as a vegetarian (no less a Vegan) and I definitely feel better with a balanced diet, but still am not a big fan of eating animals... besides, cereal is quick and easy...

and what is truth and what is fact and what is truth and what is fact and what is truth and what is fact or is it all fiction... is it all fiction... is it all fiction... every illusion is only as real as belief wants it to be, what do you believe?... if I believe in you will you believe in me?...

later that day...

I nodded off, slept a bit though I more sleep would have been nice but I found the suicide attempt at work this morning on my mind (nothing wakes one up like, in the midst of trying to supervise 26 very troubles teenage girls waking up in all states of moods all wanting more attention than they can be given at the moment, being called into a bathroom to find a staff holding up a kid with a rather purple face due to the cloth tied tight around her neck... grabbing totally inappropriate scissors {because the hospital doesn't provide appropriate scissors} and delicately, but quickly shoving my finger between the cloth and the neck {which cut off all breathing} so I can wedge the long scissor next to my finger and snip the cloth... the purple skin faded, the girl came back to life, and I returned to the hallway where the other twenty-five girls, now agitated and anxious, were waiting for the normal morning routine to return to normal so they could get their medications and personal items like perfume and belts and other clothing they can only wear when supervised... all with three staff and a nurse when we are supposed to have six staff and a nurse, minimum, but don't mention that to administration or in the incident reports because that would be causing trouble and grounds for blackballing and eventual termination for something... the investigation of this incident will be interesting, since only two things can be cited as the cause, one being the staff who was trying to provide 1:1 observation of the kid made a critical mistake and the other being there was not nearly enough staff to appropriately carry out morning services and provide 1:1 to any kid at the time... but anyway, that is what they buy the rugs for) and maybe even more my doctor's appointment scheduled for tomorrow morning and whether the work crap will interfere with my getting out of work on time and then the fact that I have not lost the weight I probably need to lose to drop my blood pressure from the borderline high it's risen to the past couple of years and how I detest taking a pill every day because of it and how much the pills will cost if I must continue taking them after the free pills run out and how all that hinges on the number that the sphyigomo-thing gives in the morning and the tension of thinking about it is enough to give the very number that is just that little buit too high and then there's the last episode of Five Days to Midnight which is on tonight and I want to watch it and still squeeze in a shower and the kitchen is a mess again and the garbage and sink are overflowing and there's four bags of garbage piled by the door and the summer ants are out in force (but haven't found their way in here yet) and some of the CDs are not playing without skips and I'm still lonelier than dirt and ... a lot on my mind?... whatever gave us that impression...

just an ordinary day in the life of a toon...

did I mention that I was a displaced toon?... that is, a cartoon character who suddenly wakes up in the human world of limits and judgments and strangeness where the commonly accepted reality is that everything is not possible and all good things must come to an end... see, I believe anything is possible and happily ever after a the reasonable goal...

amd that's just today...

I'm going to watch TV now...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)