I just created the perfect cooling system for me and my laptop (and the computer too)... see, the big green chair is about the most comfortable place to sit and write... it's not ideal, but it's the best I've got... it is in direct line of air from the air conditioning duct in the room... this is essential because this place gets like an oven during the day, especially during the summer months and since Florida has about ten summer months, at least, that's a long hot stretch... pushing the theromostat down to sixty five might get the place cooler, but it might also push the bill up over $400 for the months of June, July, August, and September... that's $400+ each of those months... yes, that is how poorly insulated this place is and another reason why my recommendation for living in this apartment community has gone from absotively posolutely the ideal place for me to look around elsewhere before settling on this place over the four years I've lived here...

but that's besides the point...

the point?...

climate control?...

you don't piss into the wind...

yes, well, be that as it may be, one of the most irritating situations of living and writing here was that as comfortable as the big green chair, sitting with the laptop on the pillow on my lap created an extremely over-heated lap... top and bottom... I've toyed with doing things about it but laziness has prevailed...

until today...

today I brought home one of the fans I sometimes use at work when the air conditioning there dies.. I pondered placement, for the power source and the fan itself, because there's a lot of plugs plugged in around the big green chair... the desktop computer, it's monitor, the portable CD burner, the DSL modem, the lamp, the CD player, the speakers, the wireless headphones, the laptop, and probably a thing or two I've forgotten...

and now, the fan...

but where to place the fan for maximum efficiently, comfort, and minimum disruption (a fan blows things, after all, and there's all sorts of paper and stuff around the big green chair that I do not want to blow away... except maybe some minds via words sometimes, but that's besides the point too)...

the fan sits on the footrest part of the big green chair as it turns into a recliner and faces me... it helps prop up the pillow upon which the laptop sits and blows a delightfully cool breeze on the bottom of the pillow, therein helping to cool the laptop and, well, placement of the fan just so completely eliminates the discomfort of overheating groin...

yes, I have a crotch fan...

yes, I am just that hot...

I could probably get that company that makes that ridiculous Cooper accessory commercial to market it... you know the one?... this is the perfect cooling system for me and my laptop... now if I could only find the perfect heating system (double entendre intended)...

I think popularity is a bit of a turn on...

ironically (or is it syncronicity), a few hours before I was asked about how to find referrers to a site, 42 provided the answer... well, maybe not the answer, but an apparently exceptionally adequate one... unfortunately, they may be temporarily unavailable for me, being that they are not accepting new members, which fits right in with my plans to remain lazy and not learn anything new about website management and code today...

the universe provides...

and well, it's no mystery as to what gets the bright and busty hissandtell excited (fifty-three freakin comments, I mean, fifty-three... maybe I should try telling some farmyard goosy tales resonating with witchery and gossip... Life with Hagrid, perhaps?... does she write the Potter stories?... obviously I am trying to attract fans by blatently coupling famous characters of literature and the internet together in casual banter as if I was a familiar... ah, dreams of granduer (or are those delusions) pop up when least expected here in the casa de candoor... next I'll be rambling on about searching the deepest darkest jungles for the long lost dangerspouse or my closet stalking of the rare and precious fan-tailed smoog... that's it, careful placement in search engines, casual sex, I mean, words that search engines seek out more than most, yes, that's the way to hot steamy orgasms, I mean, popularity... I even left a comment, or tried to at least... I don't know if it went through... fifty-three, after all... are we digressing?... or undressing coeds, perhaps?... well, before we sail off into Harry Potter porn {I am obviously obsessed... I just found out that I have 47 entries that mention Harry Potter... forty-seven!... that's almost fifty-three, err, four... and the last six in a row [that's a record]... but the point is that somewhere in those forty seven entries is a link to Potter porn, yes, Hermione sleeps with Snape and has Papa Malfoy's baby... and Harry and the younger Malfoy, well, let's just say they trade their hate for passion and... heard enough?... it's a scary world out there in Potter fanfic... add in Joey Potter and the steam really starts to rise... hmmmm, Harry and Joey?}... anyway, some people just know how to put the community into the internet community... but what about a favorite pair of jeans?)...

the fan is an amazing thing...

obviously I am a fan... ah, the fan, the life blood of ego, gold to the heart... and while I prefer ST:NG for DS9, I love the line I wonder if you appreciate just how unique that imagination of yours really is from an episode of the latter.. and something like that you can have such deep affection for someone you've never met... a species without imagination must be a very sad lot... we can only hope they never know what they are missing...

I imagine being loved and adored by everyone (in spite of the lessons of the garden party)... it's not just the ego trip I love to play with now and then, being obscenely popular, you know... and true love and friends do mean so much more... ah, but to have the fan base that some have, I wonder what that would be like... I'm not Wesley Crusher, after all...

now we can say the fan loves 42, 47, 53 and now, 54...

for whatever that means to you, it's almost as good as 17... and she was just seventeen, if you know what I mean?... oh the way she looked... but that's another story (and way beyond compare, but act naturally, ok?) you've heard many times in many ways from many others and even somewhere in the history of this or other readings, from me... the things we do for love, and all that jazz...

lonely?...

and I don't even pay attention to those matches eharmony and other personal meeting sites send me... as long as I am not ready, need saving, or not taking care of myself and want someone else to motivate me to do it, I don't take hooking up seriously... so I seek friends, but most people seek to want to hook up and that's sad for me, for friends are very challenging to come by...

I guess I'm just so irresistable...

but the best news of all is that lots of Aussies will be needing exactly what I've got between my legs... did I say that?... say what?... I don't mean my endowment... no, I have an even better deal for the Aussies... after reading hissandtell today, I've got inside information that is the key to our fortune... fame too, perhaps... aphrodisiac, even... bang the drum, Waterboys... yes, that's right, I could market my crotch fan down under...

ah, the fan...

imagine the possibilities...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)