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2005-01-30 - 6:56 p.m. shine first off, to answer some of the private queries in a public way because others may be asking without actually asking me directly and besides, it can be fun, I am not logophobic... I am not the person writing logophobic either, unless he is me and I don't know it, or perhaps we can harmonize if enough of you really want that... and if she is a she, well, I have been a she in many minds before they looked down my pants, so there is room for amusement in misunderstandings between friends... and hopefully, we can be friends... meanwhile, back to the light and smile that catching up on this year at kilowatt's has brought us so far, I SO believe in this that I capitalized and italicized the word so (as if you didn't notice, being my dear astute readers and all)... and once again I am forced into thinking (did you pick up on the Harry Chapin song reference yet?... maybe I'll tell you which one it is next time if there shall be a next time... I did not intend a separate entry devoted to each of her entries for this year, but the first just got to flowing and here we are at the second, this second, this moment) by her wisdom... I shine sometimes... I used to shine all the time... I rarely shined all by myself because I do not want to feed my ego that much because it seems like such a contradiction to all I want most, which is to share, to shine alone... the star on the pedastal is way too lonely a concept, no less life choice, for me (much to the chagrin of my insatiable ego that looks at Elvis and Einstein and Everest {and pinnacles starting with other letters too} and says, we could do that... luckily, I see my ego as a part of me that I can laugh at and therein taught the self-serving bugger to use the plural pronoun when speaking to me under the guise of deserving it because it is the royal pronoun as well... crafty, arent we?)... I don't expect most people to understand all of me, in fact, I hope to find just one person who comes close to it and spend the rest of eternity trying to perfect it (and vice versa) and when I shine I write just for that one person and lose most of the audience I hope I have, so there's another reason to shine in unison with others and not just for and by myself... so I encourage shine time for my roommates, which is the best I can do in my personal life since I don't have a personal soulmate with whom to share intimate personal shinings... and I encourage shine time professionally cuz that is my job (helping kids, mostly teenage girls figure out what is going on in their heads and how they can leave their traumatic pasts behind... and hopefully give them ideas and inspiration to find motivation to realize they have enough control to choose a better life than they've had so far... and mostly I love it because I can see the positive effect I can have on others in the physical world through their choices during and after our sharings and that, their positive choices, are my rewards)... and I encourage shine time here with you through linking you and sometimes letting your words inspire me to carry on your thoughts and maybe even connect with your feelings and expand the shining you've done into others... hey, we can dream J and here I shine through your eyes, I hope, as I seek words to inspire myself to feel good and reach for wisdoms and enlightenment (as I piggy back on ideas of one much wiser than I) and hopefully, in finding words that inspire me I might also inspire some of you to reach for more from yourself... so lament or mourne, rant or cry, do whatever it takes to release your self, your truth, your energy, your spirit, your soul... do whatever you do, or as Harry would say, do whatcha do to find your reason for being, your passion in life, your purpose for living and let it shine... and if the words do not come, then do it another way... sing it, play it, dance it, paint it, sculpt it, draw it, film it, edit it, create it any way that you can... do it at your desk or in a board room or a court room or a class room... do it in the bedroom or kitchen or the bathroom or a prison... do it with a ledger or a computer or a camera or a shovel, do it with a hard hat or a soft cloth or a jet plane or a puddle... do it on stage or in private or in counseling or in groups... do it under ground or out in space or up a tree or in grass roots... do it with a scalpel or an anvil or a pencil or a pickle... do it with a horse or a cow or a seed or a nickle... do it with a hammer or a feather or a needle and thread... do it with a bat or a ball or a x-ray of a head... do it with a brick or a pillow or a joy stick or a skate... do it with a flower or a rock or a beaker or a plate... do it do it with your mind, your eyes, your mouth, your hands... but above all else, do it with your heart, do it with your whole self with every part... and do it true... that's all I ask of you...
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