alas, I am falling behind again here partly because I am visiting elsewehere more (and new places not yet listed) and spending most of my online time lately at myspace and real time and I even made a stop over at livejournal as the pondering of my navel and other life stuff continues...

still, I hope to continue rambling on here so...

it was an entry at Serenity's Tide (that I'll hope to more specifically link if I find time to return and complete the linkages and expand on this entry as I'd like to) that inspired the kernel that is below... I had barely awakened when I read her wisdomful thoughts on consciousness and I puzzled through my own thoughts by finding officially accepted definitions and then concluding in my own way...

for your edification and enjoyment...

I believe I am unconscious, though my subconscious might be awake, but I am definitely only moments from leaving deep sleep and fluttering on the surface, so perhaps I am semi-conscious... this entry intrigues me though, so I will respond to it another time when I am more awake, or conscious... or even aware... then, perhaps, I will be sentient...

Merriam said:

Main Entry: 1con�scious
Pronunciation: 'k�n(t)-sh&s
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin conscius, from com- + scire to know
1 : perceiving, apprehending, or noticing with a degree of controlled thought or observation "conscious of having succeeded" "was conscious that someone was watching"
2 archaic : sharing another's knowledge or awareness of an inward state or outward fact
3 : personally felt "conscious guilt"
4 : capable of or marked by thought, will, design, or perception
5 : SELF-CONSCIOUS
6 : having mental faculties undulled by sleep, faintness, or stupor : AWAKE "became conscious after the anesthesia wore off"
7 : done or acting with critical awareness "a conscious effort to do better"
8 a : likely to notice, consider, or appraise "a bargain-conscious shopper" b : being concerned or interested "a budget-conscious businessman" c : marked by strong feelings or notions "a race-conscious society"
synonym see AWARE
- con�scious�ly adverb

I so see an entry coming from this pondering (including all the links that Merriam includes) when I am awake and have time... so many different directions, I wonder if this is how Dr. Seuss felt when he was writing Oh The Places We Shall Go (or was it Will Go... is forgetting being unconscious?)...

Main Entry: con�scious�ness
Pronunciation: -n&s
Function: noun
1 a : the quality or state of being aware especially of something within oneself b : the state or fact of being AWARENESS; especially : concern for some social or political cause
2 : the state of being characterized by sensation, emotion, volition, and thought : MIND
3 : the totality of conscious states of an individual
4 : the normal state of conscious life "regained consciousness"
5 : the upper level of mental life of which the person is aware as contrasted with unconscious processes

I've always wondered why people don't use the word sentient more often...

Main Entry: sen�tient
Pronunciation: 'sen(t)-sh(E-)&nt, 'sen-tE-&nt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin sentient-, sentiens, present participle of sentire to perceive, feel
1 : responsive to or conscious of sense impressions "sentient beings"
2 : AWARE
3 : finely sensitive in perception or feeling
- sen�tient�ly adverb

but then, at least according to Merriam, all roads lead to aware...

Main Entry: aware
Pronunciation: &-'wer
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English iwar, from Old English gew�r, from ge- (associative prefix) + w�r wary -- more at CO-, WARY
1 archaic : WATCHFUL, WARY
2 : having or showing realization, perception, or knowledge
- aware�ness noun
synonyms AWARE, COGNIZANT, CONSCIOUS, SENSIBLE, ALIVE, AWAKE mean having knowledge of something. AWARE implies vigilance in observing or alertness in drawing inferences from what one experiences "aware of changes in climate". COGNIZANT implies having special or certain knowledge as from firsthand sources "not fully cognizant of the facts". CONSCIOUS implies that one is focusing one's attention on something or is even preoccupied by it "conscious that my heart was pounding". SENSIBLE implies direct or intuitive perceiving especially of intangibles or of emotional states or qualities "sensible of a teacher's influence". ALIVE adds to SENSIBLE the implication of acute sensitivity to something "alive to the thrill of danger". AWAKE implies that one has become alive to something and is on the alert "a country always awake to the threat of invasion".

I suppose, as Merriam suggests, we could always ask Britannica:

Quality or state of being awareaware.
As applied to the lower animals, consciousness refers to the capacity for sensation and, usually, simple volition. In higher animals, this capacity may also include thinking and emotion. In human beings, consciousness is understood to include �meta-awareness,� an awareness that one is aware. The term also refers broadly to the upper level of mental life of which the person is aware, as contrasted with unconscious processes. Levels of consciousness (e.g., attention vs. sleep) are correlated with patterns of electrical activity in the brain (brain waves). See also philosophy of mind.

and if we have more time, the philosophy of mind sounds intriguing... and right from the start I wanted to click on self-conscious, but wandered all those other places first, so we can conclude our journey for this comment there...

Main Entry: self-con�scious
Pronunciation: -'k�n(t)-sh&s
Function: adjective
1 a : conscious of one's own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself : aware of oneself as an individual b : intensely aware of oneself : CONSCIOUS "a rising and self-conscious social class"; also : produced or done with such awareness "self-conscious art"
2 : uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others : ILL AT EASE
- self-con�scious�ly adverb
- self-con�scious�ness noun

I am self-conscious in the #1 sense of the word, but not so much in the #2 sense... does that mean my conscious is constipated?...

so many words to describe a word... and then we find quite often that we define a word with the word or a derivative of the word... kind of like describing a color to a person blind from birth... blue?... oh yes, it's the state of blueness, the sky on a clear day, the ocean as seen from space (when you can't see all the green you see up close)... and the blind person has a puzzled "look" on his or her face and the person describing blue, who is of course not cognizant (or aware) of what a blind person sees, says to the blind person, "why are you looking at me funny" and the blind person might become angry or sad, depending upon his or her personality (for the purposes of this story, let's say the blind person appeared sad) and so we'll conclude this ridiculous example of two supposedly conscious people conversing but not communicating with the unaware, but conscious person who had functioning eyes (but could not always see) looking at the sad blind person and saying, "what's wrong?... are you blue?"

what color is exasperated?

perhaps I am just becoming senescent...

reaching senescence?...

maybe I should have asked Webster.

and what color is the laughter I should or should not be experiencing at this moment? (or at the moment of concluding that partially written bit of philosophical babble above?)... ah, but you know that I mean no harm if you know me (does that make you cognizant or conscious or aware or something else?) and hopefully you are as confounded and amused as I am...

until this is completed, or next time, be aware that I love you whether you are conscious or not...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)