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2005-02-08 - 9:14 a.m. scraps roaming around the web as I do, I am frequently saving links and inspired to write a little something between entries that does not get pulled into the entry at the time the link or little something I wrote was found or written... this entry was going to be a collection of things I've written or found along the way that are still in the notepad file where I create most of my entries for casa de candoor... some of the following may have been part of previous entries and some not, but for some reason I saved the links or words and it's time to clean out the file... so may this hodge podge give you something to do today... treasured scraps of paper from the corners of my mind... I don't think I know anybody at oddgoogle, so I don't get that vicarious thrill and surprise of being included there... same for 12% Beer and diary quotes and quotes and frozen kiss and any of the other community-type sites (or cliques, elite or not, as some are called)... I might enjoy the feeling of community, comradery, familiarity, even friendship if it ever happened, but it has not so I do not know... at times I feel a little envy, especially when I am feeling lonely... at times I feel the pretentiousness of strangers lavishing superficial praise on people they've never met and don't really know, comments and praise that appears to be sent just to fit into the group... I can, due to a chameleon-like personality trait and other skills, when I choose to, fit in about anywhere... but mostly I am a loner in this life for I do not seek communal relationships, I seek a one-on-one singularity, a monogamous soulmate who merges with me and from that moment on all that is shared in this life is first shared between the two of us... but who doesn't know this about me already?... wow, am I realizing that I talk about myself a lot in this diary?... and it only took seven hundred entries?... ah, but I almost jest... oh?... what do we do how do we know when it is true what is this game call it a name identity who is me? I guess could say it is getting in my way... my hair, that is... everywhere ther's hair... I miss the sixties and I've never really been there... it's the idea of free love, uninhibited love, unconditional love... it's the idea of waking up alive and walking out the door and into a smiling world... it's the idea of saying hello and more to strangers, actively caring about strangers who smile and care back... what are we doing today?... how paranoid, how insecure, how repressed can we get before we self-destruct?... how many people would laugh at my words right now and call me a fool, a dreamer, an out of touch (out of work) actor lost in a fantasy, a delusion, a madhouse of my own making... and how many people would take any of this seriously?... I know at least a few of you do and I am blessed to have you patiently put up with my angst ridden insecurities when the daily loneliness wants to swallow up all the caring there is in the world... it only takes one other to make a perfect union, a true friendship... but it takes many, the collective awareness of a sufficient plurality to change what is true, what is right, what is real... and when loving each other is real, we will wonder why we spent (wasted?) so much time being afraid and alienated and suspicious, why we chose to make the fear more real than the love we feel... and religious icons and prophets and savious and saints and gods and a few said all this before... those who have been the the mountain top and seen the promised land is right here, right now, you and me... it is this moment, the awakening, the realization that we make of it what we want it to be and we can share the best of it, see the beauty in it, feel the wonder of it, embrace the love all around... and let it touch the love within you...
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. . . . . the moment we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)... connections . . . . AND WHATDYA MISS? Can You Laugh At The Sky? DSandDrew It's Been A While Just a Moment (Proof of Mice) A Moment of Forever older still random chance who me? leave a note? (read archived notes) send me mail? you want to know me? soundtrack 101 Things The Sequel The Trilogy 202 Things 200 Things 202 More Things 202 Things Again testing123 have time, love words? sleepwriting (where the heart dreams) and now, in RealTime� and then, (e)thereal and now, briefly, in case it matters and now, the dirt, drama, and details (babbling) DO ME! (Johari Style) DO ME WRONG! (but do me right) SOAP! (EPISODE ONE) (the dark side of candoor) loving linkers other loves A Diaryland Survey other surveys small world your profile matters (search for you & find me) tell others read others applause? favor? gift? get your own! saturn rings and other places googlisms browsing where've ya been? the searchers favorites 911 HEY AMERICA! LOOK AT YOUR CHILD STOP THE ABUSE (GET THE CODE) THOUGHTS ON GOD ( temporary attractions ) BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE! WAS #1 @ MSN! (for a while, now on page (EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS) RSS? who links here blogwise Blogarama Globe of Blogs blogthings ~ BLOGLINKERS ~ ~ BLOGROLLING ~ Blogroll Me! published blogadvance blogazoo blogexplosion blogmad? bloglines (PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS) TSUNAMI INFO fantasy sports? BLOGGIES? sorry everybody Orange Blossom Music Festival Deland Music Festival MIT Survey brilliant idea Celebrate Birthdays FOR FREEDOM CONTINUE... talking dog SAY HELLO 407-325-1482 and if you want to leave take good care hope you make a lot of true friends out there |