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2004-12-20 - 6:19 a.m. the question is rhetorical, in case you didn't know I never did get back to the heart of the matter I was close to just a little while back (and I refer to, in case you haven't followed my meandering paths {meaning more than what's written here in black and white behind the candoor}, the heart of the matter I am, but specifically the heart I lost in the shuffle, left behind in the wallow, tried to forget in the scuffle, sent where no one could follow, words misheard in the muffle, stories too hard to swallow, packed deep in the duffle, left emotionally hollow... and what was lost, what was the cost, and what can be recovered... and can the greatest discovery be rediscovered... yeah, anyway)... some of you may miss entries because you don't check in every day and some of you may miss entries because I sometimes upload a few at a time and you don't read the previous entries you missed... maybe you don't have time... or maybe you're just stopping in for a moment because I left you a note or you saw me mentioned somewhere or you clicked on me from the list of recently updated diaries... or maybe I'm just so good at distracting myself that you fall for it too... in any case, for whatever the words are worth, you know know what you read... yeah, anyway... I was listening to that John mayer song giving good advice about being good to your daughters and thought of Harry's song of a similar (though more blunt, or haunting, as Harry can be) vein?... and is it just me, or is Kelly trying too hard to be Avril?... does anybody else find the John Mellencamp video for his Walk Tall song stretched to play on too many cliche stereotypes just to tug on emotions?... I think that sometimes trying to sell the music can go too far... and what's up with that Nelly and Tim McGraw combination?... but we diversify... or at least digress... the party was quietly fun Saturday night... a bit odd as the party was being thrown by the roommates of my my friends from work and they didn't show up (the friends from work) so there I was with his roommates family, little kids included... Helena and her new friend showed up, at my invite, for an hour or so... they went off searching for a more lively party (and alcohol) and I hung out a while longer... finally it got a little livelier when a musician friend of the roommate showed up and started playing (a standing bass, no less)... we grabbed some congas and other percussion instruments, a kazoo, and a long banboo tube that sounds like a foghorn when it's played but I forgot what it's called and made some music for a while... and that was Saturday night... all that was missing was the passionate love-making... and there I was minding my own business when Keane suddenly played Somewhere Only We Know (thank you and I keep dreaming of sharing such a place and I wonder if I defeat the purpose of the search by sharing everything as it comes to me (in no particular order and without any attempt to make cohesive sense of it) cuz how can anything be something only we know if everybody knows it too... and then, that may be the catch-22, the secret... sharing everything all the time does not mean everyone shares everything all the time... most of the time nobody is paying attention... and only one who does, who is there to share everything all the time, truly knows... and from out of the blue comes Green Day (how many official sites do that have, anyway?)...
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