ok then, the laptop died suddenly and the entry in progress was lost because the autosave did not work on the ms bs software� freaking figures, doesn�t it?... whatever is causing it, it is descer� discon� not a good feeling� so i downloaded a free virus software and ran a scan and nothing came up on a basic scan so now it is running a full scan and we shall see� i suspect it is overheating, either the power supply, the hard drive, the something� in any case, it is interfering with the natural flow of babble and keeping me awake longer than i ought to be as i am not trying to reconstruct the mental capacitators that lead to the synaptic expulsion of literary convolutions previously known as the entry not yet named or completely written, but now known as the entry that got away�

it�s not good for the digestive system either�

so i�ve got some configuring of the msbs word program to do, but i at least set the autosave to every two minutes so maybe the next crash will not lose too much� the previous entry that was not yet named or completed, but now known s the entry that got away was much more amusing than this whining bit so far, so what i shall do instead is cheat with a reproduction of the authentic copy of the latest babbling in RealTime� which may be redundant, however may also be amusing in a silly sort of you know i add stuff just for fun and sometimes clarification and sometimes who knows why way, so you miss out at your own peril, risk, and wish even�

i was much younger then, after all�

the musical flavors continue to amuse my auditory taste buds as i work my way through the cd stacks as i unpack the bags of sounds and the semi-randomness of words flit through the synapses invigorating the spirit/soul/anima thing, the ethereal me, as only songs can... (can do� i am sure i meant can do� the grammar Nazis didn�t get me though, so nevermind, i guess)�

even with thousands of recordings up in storage for years and hundreds left behind and stolen over the years, there are still many stacks piling up around me as i find more and more bags of sounds as i gradually (and ever so slowly) unpack (i might be completely unpacked by the time it is time to decide where to move next at the end of this year's lease, but hopefully a bit sooner if i decide to change life around something majorly)...

as i forgot a title a couple or few entries ago in RealTime� and i forgot the whole entry over in (e)thereal tonight, but it was remembered (though something was lost in translation) and so the flowology of the daily moments blending together in thereal continues even as they fly by faster than anyone can keep up (even me?... maybe... i wouldn't know unless someone tried for a while, after all)... ah, the old story, can't tell how fast i can go until someone passes and inspires me to want to catch up... would be a very different perspective for me...

until then, pass the chocolate mousse and fudge sticks and don't forget the chocolate shake... though we skipped the shake tonight, being that the windows are open and it's dropping down to winter temperatures tonight... luckily, i finally bought myself a comforter and the last few nights has been an interesting experience consciously and unconsciously (and subconsciously as well) cuz the body has survived the same year-round temperature changes with no more than a sheet for many years... must be weird on the inside these days...

(and then i started babbling on about babbling, or something like that, as i pondered the nature of the blog there in RealTime� and realized there was this wonderful world behind the candoor that slipped into the literary fringe when nobody was looking a few years back and suddenly rose from the nearly mostly almost dead to bring tidings of comfort and joy and nonsense to everyone just weeks ago and now, well, whatever i said about it before)�

see, this blog (meaning the RealTime� blog, ya see) is not completely babbling, cuz, after all, the curtains have opened behind the candoor (that�s us right here, aye?... just can�t get enough, can he) once again and so the babbler has a home there (here), so there's less compulsion to take over this bit of web space (RealTime�)... could be an identity crisis will be (or perhaps already is based on the changes to the opening introductory descriptive stuff up top and on the right sidebar (not here, there, you see?) happening around here (there) as the human experiment seems to have been having some success, in spite of the scoffing and laughter from the peanut gallery who still think the hero will win in the end and more to the point, that this body will respond as it always did before yesterday when it was young when i finally decide to kick it back into high gear, my gear, oh dear, why fear, just cuz the normal human dies at that energy level beyond a certain age and i have gone so far in becoming what passes as a normal human, i think, but then,. that's my perspective for you and i don't have any other to reflect upon these days...

what?... yes, so anyway, the weekend is just about over... this stupid system of working at tasks that are distractions from the purpose of living for five days a week and then trying to unwind and relax and remember what living is about for two brief days and by the time you just may be getting a fleeting glimpse of yourself and what your life is really all about, it's time to get back to working at those distractions... is really stupid, actually...

and then i got all sorts of philosophical revolutionary on the asses of the masses�

radical, even�

but then (that then, not this then), the owners believe that the slaves would go crazy or something if they were permitted the time to really get in touch with themselves and each other, so the system is set up to keep us all so busy worrying about other stuff that we never even realize we are slaves manipulated by the owners...

the owners probably are right, but that does not make them right...

of course they've got all the moral righteousness and rules and laws and stuff on their side cuz they wrote the books, after all... and god, let's not forget the god they invented to keep us in our place... luckily i am not read much, so i probably won't be noticed or considered any real threat to their power cuz the fact is, if they erased every small voice crying out in the wilderness, then sooner or later they'd slip up and leave some trail of their deeds and the buzz would start and a second coming of a rebel without a cause could upset their apple carts just enough to make them adjust their glasses or actually have to reinvent the wheel as they have a few times in human history and most of them want no part of that task...

did i disclaim the babbler's presence here earlier?... oh, how he delights to prove me wrong, aye?... and the peanut gallery dance and sing ha ha naa naa nyuk nyuk narf... cuz that's their favorite song of celebration for the moment... i suppose it would be quite an unruly world if everybody started getting into themselves and contemplating the meaning of life and letting their peanut galleries start singing their favorite songs of the moment... but then, chaos is the natural order of the universe, even if humans pretend that is beyond their comprehension at this time...

i do appreciate you being round, by the way, even if i write as thought you are not there and nobody's home and it really doesn't matter cuz the fingers have minds of their own and the babbler babbles in an apparent social vacuum... your strength and fortitude and dedication and loyalty and understanding that finds some reason to stay and respond now and then is a credit to your brain, you should know, and you heart too... i suppose i write as if i am not here just as much, as well, even...

so it is later in the evening and i am going to sleep soon and i just wanted to release some of the stuff floating around the grey matter, for whatever it may be worth outside of the head... may you be amused or at least feel like you did not waste your time reading... feel good about yourself and your continued recurring nightmares or visits to this humble human lair, you are amazing...

not everybody recognizes genius, after all...

nyuk nyuk narf :)