ok, so it is another day... first thing I did when I got home from work was check mail and then, finally, check mail on the other computer (the massively SPAMed, but still essential addresses) and I realized that I left two addresses out... I mean, two addresses have not been checked since early September... wouldn'tcha know they were the two addresses attached to my resumes and to other public sites... guess my lack of ambition is fully entrenched in my subconscious as well... so I added those two accounts to the old desktop and they are downloading now... should be an hour or so... the or so part might be a lot longer, but I'm not there watching since I am on Sally's computer munching on carrots and catching up with you...

so after starting the mail download over there (there being at the big green chair), I gave into the munchies and ate some supposedly fat-free turkey... seems like an oxymoron to call any meat fat-free, but the law allows it and it's got the lowest fat of any meat I can find and I am trying to balance my diet with protein cuz that's best for body health (and I might get the evil eye from my caring co-worker) and then some pretzels (salt craving) and then some carrots (filler) and here we are...

oh, I almost forgot... I gave the cats dirty looks for yesterday... they understood, they have been staying away from me this morning, probably content with themselves for finally having snuck into my room and claiming it their own in cat-like fashion... I told them if they go in there again I will feed them their tails... yes, I can be cruel... I prefer to be clean and those two are not... Rasputin has a huge fan on in his room trying to circulate the air so the stench is fading slowly... cats are not my favorite people these days... no worries, hate wears off too fast for me... I really need to take a course in it so I can learn how to do it better... also in how to hold a grudge... I hear it's very human to do so and since I am passing as human, I should try to learn human stuff to fit in better... like that might happen... anyway, how are you?...

now that the mundane tasks of life have been accounted for (did I mention I bathed and read notes (and hopes for more mail... who said that?) and read a bit more of her (after following a banner and seeing the diary name, how could I not?... what?... you're new here and don't know that truth is everything {not just out there} including my highest ideal and ultimate individual goal {sharing truth is my ultimate sharable goal} and anyone who appears to expose the whole truth about themselves {or just truly want to and is willing to put all they've got into the attempt} if a blessing to observe, know, be around, and read?... well, now you know... don't just see the truth, don't just hold the truth, don't just know, express, share the truth... be the truth)...

everyone who flashed back to the spoon in the first Matrix step forward and dance... the rest of you sit down and read some more...

yesterday I was reading Eric Anthony and once again I was not sure whether to laugh or cry or what... once again, I chose what... I'd probably buy a T-Shirt if I had money to burn... I love T-Shirts, especially unique ones with stories behind them... or in them, for that matter... what story is in your T-shirt?...

the funda will be jealous if I continue making pithy comments in short paragraphs... but it'll just be mock jealousy (like the kind I have for gump... not that it's mocking the gump, gump is great... admiration is sometimes phrased as jealousy cuz it's sometimes too corny or embarrassingly uncool to just gush over someone like a schoolgirl... but then, isn't that what life is really all about?... but it's not really jealousy... were Beatles fans jealous of the Beatles?... it is really more like wish I knew ya better and wish you were part of my real life and me part of yours with mutual meaningfullness and wish I had a fuller life and wish I had more attention and love and laughter and responses and fun and most of all, wish I was known and loved by everyone... are you waiting in line for something?... what's a funda, you ask?...

funda says stuff like this: isn't it a strange world where we will agree to happilly, even excitedly wait in line for an hour (or longer) to see some strangers play music or act out parts on a screen, but we will act all offended or even angry if we wait a few minutes for a potential friend or soulmate who was hung up in traffic to arrive for real-world sharing and dinner?...

what funda what?...

meanwhile, the mail still downloads on the other computer and once again I face the challenge of how to set up the filters to get rid of as much junk as possible without losing any meaningful mail... alas, I hope you were not lost in my filters... if you use any of the email addresses on my websites (other than the diaryland addresses), you probably have been lost in the filters... one day when I get a grown up computer and a real website building program I'll tell the program to search my site for all email addresses and change them all to contact page where a SPAM-proofed working email address will await your words... I hope to hear from you then... or now, right here and now... just click on the send me mail? link and remove the parentheses and say something... say anything... let me know you're out there... fall in love with me... stalk me... I don't mean just stalk me, but stalk me good and get me on Letterman... or Oprah... better yet, on Letterman and Oprah...

just don't hurt anybody...

ok, so I am rambling... it's a substitute for food which is a substitute for kissing and sharing intimacy and doing something more meaningful (and less fatenning) with my mouth... what can I say, I am oral... even my fingers are oral... it's a struggle to type these words without sucking my thumb...

actually, it would probably be more of a struggle to type these words while sucking my thumb, but you get the point, don't you?... well, you do if you are oral... and I don't mean roberts... no sermon is gonna cure what ails me, no sirree bob... a surry with a fringe on top and all that goes with it might, but that's a show tune of a different horse... I think it's time to get back to Oz now...

so this is real life?... work, food, water, cats, writing, computers, words, lonely lips, bored fingers, munchies, hunger for music and other sensual experiences, longing for love, quests for internet fame and fortune (did I mention the fortune part?... yes, do please send money at will... fire when ready... charity begins at home... I am home, are you?)... and I ain't too proud to beg, sweet darling... yes, real life... ok, so I stole the title from Robin Williams... it isn't jealousy, it's awe and idolization, dammit!...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)