being mildly retarded due to sleep deprivation and having laptop problems (that's the laptop computer, in case you were wondering) making email a time consuming pot-luck endeavor to access at the moment, it took me a while to figure out that there were question in my email...

and then there were questions in my notes and I went and responded to notes you left and did not actually respond to those questions... while I have good excuses for the former, the notes excuse is simply mild mental retardation...

there's a fog between me and most of the thoughts floating around my head... it feels like I am drugged... I know, I used to play with drugs... lots of drugs... it feels like I am playing with lots of drugs right now...

anyway, I found these (from nicim):

How do you call a Horse With No Name?

you whinny, you ninny... one must learn to speak horse in order to call a Horse with No Name... or you could give the horse a name and wait until it starts responding, but if you're trying to get out of the rain, you might just want to whinny...

Is a Nod really as Good As A Wink?

not really, for you see, a nod is generally acknowledging agreement whereas a wink is requesting agreement, usually for a more forward or familiar incident... it's kind of like the formal and familiar case in most languages other than English... to use French as an example, Vous would be the nod, while Tu would be the wink... it's quite simple really, you would nod at a stranger, but winking at a stranger might seem too forward, even misconstrued as flirting...

of course if you are flirting, then a nod is only as good as a wink if you are responding to the wink... also, we have not incorporated the smile, or non-smile, or frown into the communication... that could be for next time...

Where is the Stairway to Heaven?

she bought it and took it home and has since moved to Iraq, so it's anybody's guess... maybe we should send over lots of soldiers and search for the STH, because we have it on good authority that the STH is over there and we have every right to go get it because we have the might and the obligation to own and control everything...

and once you get there, are there Cheeseburgers in Paradise?

of course, it wouldn't be Paradise without cheeseburgers... they aren't made of cow though, because it wouldn't be Paradise if we went around killing cows... or even milking them... everything is imaginary in paradise, so it's made of imagination, which doesn't cost and thing and requires no killing or other harmful acts...

and check your email for the question of the day!

so I did, and this is what I found:

Why DID the chicken cross the road.

because a boy scout mistook the chicken for an old person and he was desperate to get his crossing an old person merit badge... there was a rumour going around that the kid actually did know he was crossing a chicken but only told everyone he thought it was an old personb in the hope that he'd get the badge based on the fact that he did successfully cross the chicken and it's the thought that counts, but there was no proof of the accusation... there were a few complains from old people who did not want to cross the road and were pushed across by overzealous scouts, but they weren't chicken...

Which DID come first - the chicken or the egg?

the egg, actually... and nobody knew it was a chicken egg until this strange looking thing popped out...

see, a bunch of ducks were living near a uranium mine and the embryos mutated within their eggs... the ducks all got together and quaked up a fuss about these strange looking things with short pointy beaks and odd feet... but it wasn't until it was time to fly south for the winter that they discovered the odd ducks could not fly... so naturally they flew away laughing at the odd ducks who they assumed were afraid to fly, pointing down and saying, "look at those chickens"...

Why CAN'T we count our chickens before they hatched?

because we don't really know if they mutated back into ducks, which should be obvious by now...

and, why, oh why, are we so fixated on chickens?

since you were going to dinner, maybe you were hungry... or else it could be that we felt sorry for the odd-ducks because the real ducks still fly by laughing at the chickens and we wanted the world to know...

we are blogging for human rights after all...

and as we all know, while few chickens are human, many humans are chicken...

hope that clears things up for us all...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)

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