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2003-10-02 - 8:22a.m. I'm poor but I'm happy... another morning, just getting home from work, a bit earlier than usual... this may become a habit and already i see I am casually leaving any sort of literary style or interesting opening phrasing to catch your attention out of this diary, which means it is a challenge... what?... if you don't understand, you don't understand... as you wish... ok, so I finally did do a few of those tasks on the list of tasks that never really became a list because I just kinda impromptu blathered them out in a parentheses an entry or few back, but it's all good... yeah, poor but happy, giving and feeling the appreciation, definitely all good... one of these days people I actually know in the physical world will stumble upon this diary and if any of you reading right now know me in the physical world, don't be afraid to say hello and let me know you've been here.;.. you won't see me rambling on any differently if you tell me you are out there, no harm intended, in seriousness or teasing, but honesty will prevail... anything else is less and I am not alive to settle for less... someday we'll all understand... the vegetable diet continues... did I mention I got to feeling bloated enough (finally) to actually pull some of my will power out of the pits of apathy and make a dietary change?... well, except for the evil influence of Sally Rasputin, who stumbled out of his room about 3AM over the weekend as I was holding the can opener with cans of veggies right in front of me and convinced me to order food that was not part of the new dietary plan (pizza and an eggplant parm sub) and then followed up the next day with wings and a veggie sub, I've gone almost ten days eating nothing but vegetables and a few cans of tuna... nothing else... ok, well, a little fat free mayo mixed in with the tuna, but that's it... some black coffee at work doesn't count, much... I feel this body screaming for sugar (my taste buds won't even talk to me... I mean, they love the veggies too, but they are wondering what happened to the daily chocolate fix, other sweets, breads, cheeses, and fatty foods they were quite used to) and trying to figure out which organs to turn on to produce the right chemicals to break down complex carbs in the veggies and stored fat... I don't think my hypothalmus or wherever pressed the panic button yet, but I sense there's an emergency meeting being called in my brain to discuss what to do about the pending starvation (the body is not smart enough to know this sudden change in diet is a conscious decision, so it thinks I suddenly came upon extremely hard times again and must conserve all resources and shut down all unnecessary operations... fatigue is looming, I feel it's dark clouds... I'll head it off tonight or tomorrow with some different food, another splurge of sorts, but hopefully this veggie diet will continue another few weeks until I drop the excess blubber... it's about time... and I know my legs and heart and lungs and nipples will thank me when I next run again (more details about the physical body can be found in the land of the mostly dead cuz that is what this body is, by my standards (which are a few standard deviations east of the norms)... since I was awake a lot yesterday (never did find the bed, fell asleep in the big green chair while talking to Sally about the college football picks we were making this week and when I woke up it was some hours later and everyone was sleeping) and I am challenging this body to eat some of it's own stored fat, I am way past groggy and well nigh on to bleary, which is dangerously close to falling over, so I should probably call this entry done and roll into bed... I just looked at the file name for this entry and took a very deep breath... more later or tomorrow...
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