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2005-02-01 - 10:08 p.m. when the phone stops ringing some things just make me want to go wow... like when Eric Anthony offered small gifts to everyone who wrote to him... or when Bobby hit his 3000th favorites list (I wonder if he still holds the record for being listed on the most favorites lists)... well, something else did that this morning (make me want to go wow), but the connection to the internet crashed (it seems to be doing that way too often since we moved into this new place... I don't know if it's the wiring or the ISP (I think this same thing happened last time we moved and calling the ISP fixed it when they flipped some switch or something... or maybe it was the phone company)... anyway, I had to shut down the computer and do other stuff to get connected again but finally, here we are... but the real question is... where were we?... no, it wasn't Uncle Bob, who used to list his army as if he has hundreds of devout followers and friends (maybe he does... and I finally remembered that bit of meandering in my mind from yesterday)... and I remember that I was pondering the pain of being dropped from a favorites list, of being erased from a diary after being made to feel at home and loved for the words or gifts of self that are shared, as if just because you do not fit some specific criteria, all the positive words are washed away and gone... it happens too often (reaching years back for the first time I experienced it here at DLand) and I know that is an undercurrent memory in me that keeps me cautious in developing any serious trust and faith in the permanence of any connections here or anywhere online... people just keep teaching me little lessons about how easily they drop online relationships (as if being erased from a favorites list in a profile or on the diary itself means nothing)... some people randomly call strangers and put their number right out there on line (who me?)... 407-325-1482) and others try to develop more durable relationships by calling a lot and being there when the phone rings... and some hide away afraid to open themselves to any contact beyond notes (heck, some turn off notes)... I don't want to be afraid, so in spite of the rejections and erasures, I am out here wide open ready, willing, and mostly able to continue sharing (even if it's a struggle to continue sometimes, huh?... sigh... thanks for understanding of patient friends the rest of you know who you are)... but that is not where I was when I was interrupted by the faulty server connections and had to reboot the laptop twice and remove the modem card and unplug the phone line and dance a happy connection dance for the internet gods just to get reconnected this morning... and now I must rack my brain... ok, start again (shhh, I cheated and looked into the history thing... it was a wonder-filled moment and mood that was unfolding and we're approaching it again now)... yeah, some things just make me want to go wow... and while it might be too late to actually benefit from it, this is one of those things... some people just make the world a better place just be being who they are and sharing the way they do... and this is pretty darn special too... people being generous and giving gifts to strangers is a wonderful thing... I'm suddenly in a gawrsh mood (humble goofy)... and just to let you know that I have not completely abandoned the tetrawatt (I know, she just keeps getting brighter in my eyes... but how could any open heart not fall in love, how could any child not sit mesmerized listening to her teach of goodness and beauty and the wonders of life?... and love... I mean, seriously... sigh)... I shall return to the inspirations of her magical mind soon... until then, ramble on... I feel like I've been here before in total agreement (this parentheses is for when I find time to return to my own archives and find the entry I am thinking of wherein I sing the praises of the beautiful flower (thorns and all, as she says with a smile) we've both come to know and love... actually, I believe it was an angel who inspired me to agree and applaud somewhere in the midst of a rambly entry... there, we have our clues for when we want to go find it and link to it, right)... but I do remember that I think everyone should belong somewhere and a beautiful place to belong is creating fun for life, a site dedicated to positivity and health and actualizing all every one of us can be... and to segue into my odd imagination now, if you've read me well, you know I seek my Princess Charming, just like the fairy tales, but in reverse (not that I'm any sort of Sleeping Beauty, but I do have the sleeping part {not to mention the pining over lost loves and loves yet to be} down pat I think)... and every time I visit charming girl I laugh at my dreams (in an affectionate way, ya know) because I love her sense of humor and, well, sometimes just a name can amuse me enough to play in my mind all night... the connections of these browsing entries (which should probably and will eventually go into the browsing diary I created just for such browsing entries {clearing throat at myself... and reminding you that there is a public browsings diary awaiting your words [and links, remember Annie?... ah, the irony of remembering a truly true heart just now warms me all over again] about your wanderings around the web too}, and when I wake up, yes they shall) are sometimes more poignant than anything I could plan... and so few come (and stay) close enough to understand it all (or even most)... and that reminds me of the advice Mary Poppins shared (of course I paraphrase)... when the phone stops ringing (and the suggestion it is because you did something to no longer deserve attention or affection or even the interest of the person who was supposedly adoring you in their own words just last week), think of your favorite things... do what you enjoy doing... like if wandering the web and finding people who write words (or draw art or take pictures or do anything) that inspire you to believe in what you want to believe in is a favorite thing for you (as it is for me, which makes it a perfect example for me in this writing place), then click... and click some more... but you know it's not just the clicking that does it, it's the note leaving and receiving and continuing to connect and believe someone actually cares enough to stick around and explore more varied and deeper sharings... and then to find people who've got what you seek (for me that would be people actively and openly and honestly and completely in love and genuinely happy with themselves and their loved ones)... there are so many beautiful entertaining people who are loved and reading inspires me to believe it's not too late for another chance for me... and so many could be linked in this paragraph (and maybe they will be as this may be another entry that is added to over the course of time... but for the moment, right at the crest of a wondrous wave of ecstatic emotion, I must prepare for work and head out the door... everybody boo (and giggle at the boos)... and then, suddenly, as if on cue with one last click of the mouse button, I fall (hopefully I'll find time soon)...
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. . . . . the moment we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)... connections . . . . AND WHATDYA MISS? Can You Laugh At The Sky? DSandDrew It's Been A While Just a Moment (Proof of Mice) A Moment of Forever older still random chance who me? leave a note? (read archived notes) send me mail? you want to know me? soundtrack 101 Things The Sequel The Trilogy 202 Things 200 Things 202 More Things 202 Things Again testing123 have time, love words? sleepwriting (where the heart dreams) and now, in RealTime� and then, (e)thereal and now, briefly, in case it matters and now, the dirt, drama, and details (babbling) DO ME! (Johari Style) DO ME WRONG! (but do me right) SOAP! (EPISODE ONE) (the dark side of candoor) loving linkers other loves A Diaryland Survey other surveys small world your profile matters (search for you & find me) tell others read others applause? favor? gift? get your own! saturn rings and other places googlisms browsing where've ya been? the searchers favorites 911 HEY AMERICA! LOOK AT YOUR CHILD STOP THE ABUSE (GET THE CODE) THOUGHTS ON GOD ( temporary attractions ) BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE! WAS #1 @ MSN! (for a while, now on page (EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS) RSS? ![]() who links here blogwise Blogarama Globe of Blogs blogthings ~ BLOGLINKERS ~ ~ BLOGROLLING ~ Blogroll Me! published blogadvance blogazoo blogexplosion blogmad? bloglines (PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS) TSUNAMI INFO fantasy sports? BLOGGIES? sorry everybody Orange Blossom Music Festival Deland Music Festival MIT Survey brilliant idea Celebrate Birthdays FOR FREEDOM CONTINUE... talking dog SAY HELLO 407-325-1482 and if you want to leave take good care hope you make a lot of true friends out there |