yesterday happened, but it might seem like only moments ago if you were paying attention, mostly because I forgot to press upload before I fell over, but be that as it may, it is now today and we are back together again...

isn't that special...

I am a tad frustrated because the Western Union at the supermarket will not open until 10AM which means I must either stay awake and go back out or wake up before they close and I don't know when they close so that means I need to find out and that means thought, like find a number and call and wait on hold and press buttons to ask a computer for a nearest location and call more and repeat the process if the hours of that location are not right... there must be a less time consuming way... but no fear, dear one, the money will get to you soon...

and then there's the email... half my email addresses were flooded with so much SPAM I've stopped using them... that means just about all of the email addresses on in my web world are bouncing... so many lost contacts... maybe even someone wanting to fulfill dreams with me or at least relate to the wantlist, but alas, whatever is meant to be will be and I am not sure I believe that's true but it'll have to do for now I suppose... the other half of the email addresses are coming into my new laptop and the SPAM continues increasing (especially from this DLand site, which sucks because it is giving me thoughts of turning off email from the site which eliminates major contact possibilities and I am here for the contact, after all)...

and then there's the falling in love thing... no, I haven't, but I'm reaching that point where I think i really want to again and that's a royal pain in the, ummmm, just about everywhere because falling in love changes everything and when everything is ready for a change and the change isn't happening then patience wears very thin very fast so what's up with that anyway?...

Lil Bit is curled up in the most cutest most vulnerable position right at my feet preventing movement without disturbing her and that's altogether too restrictive for me when I have a zillion things on my mind and want to do them all at once (perhaps she knows that is impossible and is just trying to help me face reality... of course she could be waiting for me to get up and find her little plastic cap thing that she's apparently quite addicted to as she seldom stops playing with it unless it's slipped under something where she can't reach it)...

there really are not enough hours in a day and that compounds my frustration with everything else that I am frustrated at the moment or these days (few things frustrate me for long, I'm easy like that... most might say too easy, but then, that is my perspective... challenging as that might seem for some to grasp)...

I am very much thinking that I am in need of more interaction, passion, loving caring and honest sharing... does anybody know where I can get some?...

and what's the deal with taxes, anyway... I mean, why are they so high and if it's my money, why can't I have a say in how it's spent?... what if I don't want to buy weapons of mass destruction or even bombs and little bullets to drop on people?... I think we need a new government and I'd like to get started on that right away, but Lil Bit is curled up on my feet so maybe tomorrow...

is anyone else as addicted to sugar and chocolate as I am?...

I think my new old computer needs a sound card, but I haven't tested it yet so I am not sure... if it does, then those speakers hanging from the monitor must feel awfully useless and dumb for hanging on there...

my mind may be racing a few light years a second because it is avoiding certain thoughts that have been buried in the depths for so long that nobody is going to getjme near them without eye contact and a sledgehammer (metaphorically speaking, of course) personality that also happens to be irresistible to me in particular and wants to more than life itself...

maybe I just need to get laid...

actually, I'd rather a few nights of wild passion that set the sheets on fire and I have rarely settled for less, which may be part of the problem...

does anybody sense something rather fundamental about this entry?... must be going through withdrawals or something... like that...

memories have been swarming just below my consciousness for a few days now and they threaten to discard whatever sanity I might have left (at least enough to keep me working and paying bills and eating semi-regularly) for the madness I love so much, but based on the way the last time turned out that could be closer to the edge than this body can survive this time so I could really use a true friend who knows it all right about now...

rather than becoming a cynical bitch, I mean...

as if this entry was not enough, more proof of my being insanity: suddenly I am hearing John Denver in my brain...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)