I am starting to see patterns in links (it's nothing clear yet, it's like a theory of linkage or some sort of theory of networking on the web)... it seems that we give each other paths to follow when we put links in our entries or even more, when we list links permanently on our pages... my pattern is often haphazard in entries like this one where I ramble on a bit, mostly in general about my wanderings on the web and then repeat and this is where I wandered this week again and again until I have shared all (well, most... there are some places I choose not to share and some that are closed before I remember to copy the address) the places I've wandered on the web since the last entry like this...

it seems that we develop our own network of repeated links and sometimes, like the experimental bloglinkers network in the mostly permanent column on the left, the connections are almost random... people choose me (or I choose them) based on a few words or a few thousand and we feel good enough or connected enough to want to add them to our list... it's similar to the favorites here at DLand in our profiles (though that is more time consuming and more than just a click-to-add thing, which is why many people I consider favorites have not gotten to my favorites lists yet... and if you're already on candora's list (or one of my other diaries) I don't want to duplicate you cuz DLand limits the number of favorites each diary can list and I'll never have room for all of my favorite reads doing it their way)...

anyway, I was wondering if we should reflect on what our lists of favorites and linkers and all that networking stuff means... like how does it effect you, dear readers?... are we swayed by popularity?... are the words we read more amusing or interesting if someone we respect has the diary listed as a favorite?... and how does name-dropping effect how the words are read?...

since I write primarily for myself, to sort through life and my thoughts and emotions and experiences and try to make some sense of them, at the bottom line the public nature of my diaries and the connections and so on are secondary... and yet, just as a second child is not really less important to a parent, or a second work of art is not really less important than a first, the secondary effect of an audience and the potential for and belief in friends in the audience matters a lot to me... I would not be publishing my ramblings if I did not want to be heard, to connect, to touch you and to feel your responses...

so your links do matter to me... your praise matters to me... your criticism and respect matter to me... a lot... in some way, a consistent repetition of specific links creates a sense of web family... there's a level of respect that says, "these are the people I love to read" and then there's a level we may rarely get to that says, "these are the people I love"... the latter is rare because we rarely get to know people well enough through the internet to know them well enough to truly love them beyond the love thy neighbor and all we need is love and I love everyone type of love (that is very important too, just not as personal)...

I used to have levels of relationships in my mind... that is, I used to use words to define the closeness of trust I shared with others... the first level of friend encompassed most anyone who did not deliberately try to harm me... knowing the person was not so necessary... I rarely used the word friend in this life until recent years when my language and habits and whole self diffused into a compromised mix of all that is around me... acquaintence would be more correct for me there... the next level of friend, or where the word friend begins for me, was when mutual knowledge and respect was personal and trust was based on experiencing sharing consistency over time... I've forgotten my own language over the years, being out of touch with myself, but the next level of closeness was gardener... a gardener was a friend who shared unconditional trust on some level, in not all levels on which sharing is possible... closer than family, closer than lover or friend or partner or perhaps even anima or ali or dog or god, a gardener is next to soulmate (and some might be soulmates and some even closer... closer than language ever gets)...

that may be as brief as the personal language of relationships has ever been expressed in my writings and for what it's worth to you, whomever and wherever you are, may it allow us to communicate better if we choose to try...

I would like to communicate better...

meanwhile, I was pondering the relationships we create on the web, specifically pertaining to the links we include in our entries and templates and favorites lists and so on... but alas, I nodded off for a while during the paragraph pondering my personal language and now I am finding think fog (and thick fog too) around my brain and several paths upon which I might continue, though the fog obscures any ideas of why or how... so for the moment, I shall call this part one of wherever it was going and conclude with the week of wanderings for your perusal...

say hello from me too...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)