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2005-10-07 - 6:42 p.m. I'm not in love (maybe)... you still out there?... I wish the whole world would get together and fix everything because I am really tired of being aware of the troubles in this world and as much as I avoid the news, I still care... one of the guys at work is leaving to work for a sub-contractor helping inspect buildings in Texas... and then there's the obvious and subtle and possible corruption and struggles in Louisiana... and the devastation in Mississippi... so much to rebuild... I'd settle for a little more honesty... somebody stop me... if you are conscientious and really want more news than I do, click the links on the left or read back fifty entries or so and find out what I had to say when I pulled my head out of... my navel... and for the rest of us, I shall now endeavor to continue forgetting there is a real world beyond this literary internet life we share and get back to some irreverent rambling complete with innuendo, sarcasm, and the occasional titilation... and speaking of titilation (are we?), having not slept more than a couple of hours in more than a week might be influencing my vulnerability, but on the other hand I have been viewing images at random all day in between TV and chatting with roommates and assorted other stuff and she is the profound object of sudden lust... first time today... and she's a scorpio rabbit, which I find seriously exciting because of my history with scorpios and rabbits (my first three profound girlfriends)... memories, can be beautiful and yet... and in a related stretch of the imagination, watching baseball playoffs today, I suddenly envision the profundity of the shape of the diamond as two splayed legs brought back together at the feet topped off with a golden triangle and I so want to run around the bases again and again until I wake up inside again and feel the throbbing pumping feeling of blood rushing through this body and then, panting with passion for the love of life, to linger long at second base, but it's not as exciting as a sudden hunger to fondle a complete stranger's crotch... shock value humor from the too sleepy to care if my irreverence is taken well or misunderstood and condemned by smaller minds with high hedges of moral indignation or even something like an overabundance of insecurity that leads to the intrusion of self-respect that tries way too hard for it to actually be real... whatever I just said, it meant something... sometimes you just have to be in my head to get it all... and even then, there's no guarantees... but you know, dear readers, that there a layers within layers and levels of layers and layers of levels and lines between lines and depths within nonsense and nonsense within depths and serious irreverence and irreverent seriousness there is more serious in my irreverence than in most people's seriousness and more irreverence in my seriousness than anyone really wants to explore (at least so far) and so, dear friends, we come here tonight to revere the exposed navel and play with the lint found therein and our eyes or attention or even gentle caresses happen to slip slightly lover (you did realize I meant lower, didntcha?... ah, typos) where the golden diamond becomes the holy triangle, then may we remember to practice safety in pleasure and purity in passion by enjoying the harmlessness of unconditional giving and receiving and sharing and ultimately, the mind where it all begins and ends and comes together... huh?... so about sippy (how's that for a segue?... disjointed, but only if you got lost along with me, and still, I hope it can be jointed somehow)... in all seriousness, I thoroughly enjoyed sippy's literary and video personality and would love to play with her... and I really do mean that ever so innocently, of course... but innocently can be so boring and is usually left for candora, right?... of course right... so here I shall continue to ramble on without censorship (or much thought, actually) and let whatever words come to mind fall right out again with hardly a moment's notice... you think you're surprised by some of the things that come out in my ramblings?... you should be me... but just because I don't pay attention to half or more of what I write does not mean I am not responsible for every word (I take full responsibility, and payments in cash or check) and so if ever anything I put out here on the web anywhere I may put it offends, please read this and accept the truth, that I mean no harm or offense and just wish to amuse and distract myself and you so we might leave the challenges of daily life behind for a while and escape into the insanity of my daily life... how's that for justifying the narcissism?... ah, but if you are not laughing at me, then I must not be funny to you, but I am usually laughing at myself, in case you were holding back laughter to be polite or something... I really would prefer realness and honesty to empty politeness... good grief, I have not made time for hissy (who has been very good not to throw fits) or august in weeks, or at least it feels like weeks... and so many others... hopefully tomorrow, because at the moment I must sleep... while I sleep, please wander where I've wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and this is where I wandered this week... and please take a moment to leave me a note or comment or drop me a mail or just call and let me know if any of the links are not working... that would be a sweet gift you can give... to be continued...
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