what was that?

what can I say... I was just sitting there minding my own business when someone waved a flag in my face and set off some fireworks... bombs bursting in air always has a rather odd effect on me... and there I was with no time to get to the computer and upload anything, so it all sat in my head and stewed for the better part of a week until I had time to spill it all out... most of it is banality, drivel, and mental masturbation... but then, maybe there's some worth in mental masturbation too...

certainly it is better than a stroke...

all I know is I feel too much, think too much, and if I don't find something to laugh at every few minutes I'll be a raving lunatic most of the time... luckily, I can laugh at myself, especially when I start raving, so it's a self-perpetuating cycle that remains comfortably amusing because I almost always end the day (or night) in laughter, kind of Pythonesque, I imagine...

or at least in a Douglas Adams kind of irreverence...

since I don't have much to say today and I do want to get on with this catching up and updating thing that we all seem quite addicted to, to which we are all seemingly quite addicted, too, upon which our addiction might be seeming, also, even, ummmm, isn't the language interesting?... or at least odd...

and please be sure to not to forget to bring your piece of smoked glass to the next solar eclipse of the sun...

I had gone over the edge, or rather over to my other journal, the one I began in very early 2001 and promply stopped for a while because I was quite suddenly without a roof or access to the phone lines I was still getting billed for because she had a very different definition of the word friend when she said it from the definition I heard, but that's a long story and rather old by now... I still wonder just what people could possibly mean when they use the word because I sure do have a very different definition than anyone I know... yes, well, enough griping and grumping, time for the solar eclipse of the sun...

no, that's not right...

does anybody really know what time it is?... whatever time it might be, or day, for that matter, we now present the entry written in that other journal because that other journal has some modesty and sophistication about it, or so I've been told by people I choose to believe, and it's a good thing to want to keep it (and modesty and sophistication too) alive...

this is what I wrote:

no time to update my daily diary, yet I come here to wonder why I come here when there's no time to update my daily diary (which is, as you must know by now, or at least I hope you do, elsewhere... for now) even as these little flies buzz around and bug the crap out of any ability to focus and concentrate I might have left in my sleep-deprived and probably more depressed than I let myself know brain...

is it because I want the kind of attention some of you get here at LJ, the appearance of having a lot of wonderful people commenting because they truly care and are interested in knowing you and even meeting up and sharing some time in space and fun?...

is it because I sense the widespread depression in the air and the coming recession and potential for autrocities and madness that might or might not lead to another ressurgence of frivolous enlightenment like the roaring twenties or sixties (and in the face of conservative hatred of change and open minds dominating the human race these days, am I still trying to be the hippie I once was or thought I might have been?)...

or maybe I am just trying to stay alive even as the walls crumble all around me and nobody is actually noticing except for a few of you online who are unfortunately a bit too far away to hold the umbrella or pick up any pieces...

start here and after you find time to read all the way through (even though it's far from complete, especially the commentary), let me know what you think...

maybe I am still wishing I was in with the in crowd of Glasgow (or am I just teasing myself and hoping someone else laughs too)... do you know?... or how about you... lost in all the mysteries, fading into histories, how much time is left, after the theft...

Ryan Adams sings Wonderwall...

I shout out to all my friends there and wonder what the heck is going on in my head (anybody providing any clues will be most appreciated and who knows, you might even win an all expenses paid trip to a swamp, or a theme park, or a nice spot under a tree, even)...

if I wrote here more, I wonder what I would say.

heck, for that matter, or any matter, if I wrote more here I wonder what I would say... I am not here to preach or to teach or to lead you or do anything that might starve you or feed you I do not want to coach you or race you or bleed you and while sex may be fun I do not want to seed you (I am really quite the prude you know, I mean, unless you're a libido fantasy and then we won't discuss just what happens behind closed doors unless you really want to and then I'll definitely have incentive to get into optimal physical condition so we can have grand old stories to tell... after all, I will most likely die in the throes of passion, but at least not for another hundred years or so)...

did someone say loins?...

I may be getting horny again... it's an infrequent occurance for me because I can find satisfaction in a melon, metaphorically, of course, but there are times when I find passionate lust thrust in my face in the form of a face and physique that triggers a serious chemical inbalance in my brain-body function that only rabid kissing of flesh can cure... that's human flesh...

no offense to the melons...

so in conclusion (oh really?), I really had no entry to give you today and apoligize for taking up so much of your time... feel free to obtain a voucher for a free entry next time and don't forget to have your parking ticket and soft core pornography validated by Guido at the door on your way out and above and beyond all else, be sure to stop at the free photo booth to have your private parts photographed for easier entry next time...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)