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2003-12-13 - 10:43 p.m. let's spend the night together after going out last night I decided that staying in tonight was the right thing to do specially since I've had the place to myself and there's some movies on TV I haven't seen... so I ordered dinner and just finished watching One Hour Photo... another weird thoughtful Robin Williams oddity... I hope I never get quite that alone, but then, I am... and I sit here looking at literary one hour photos, diary excerps, imagining actually knowing the people who are writing, sometimes wishing I could be part of the lives I read about... sometimes even imagining what if... eerie, huh?... the difference is I am not into control and do not actively judge other people... that is, I keep my judgments, my opinions, my perspective to myself... even when asked, I will usually say it is not my place to judge... truth, for that is what I believe... I don't feel nor do I want to be god-like... I wish there'd be no harm in the world... I wish people would be true to their words in their actions and faithful to promises they make... but I accept that most people lie and cheat and steal and betray, even if it's on the overlooked level of fudging tax returns or telling someone they look good when they look tired and depressed or not living up to ideals... but I do look through windows here online all the time... I watch people wherever I go... I observe and use my intuition and imagination to fill in the possible missing pieces to create wholer people and lives they might live... sometimes I imagine being part of the lives, but not as often as I used to... I enjoy being a voyeur and it's something to do until some real sharing comes along... still, I am intensely visual in my perspective, life, and fantasies... and I love photography, having worked many weddings and parties and portraits... so it's probably good that I never worked in a photo store... you didn't think I'd leave you all reassured, did ya? earlier I took this carcass to the gym... thirty minutes on the whatchamacallit... that kind of stairmaster except the platforms rotate like bicycle pedals and has poles you push and pull on to for an upper body workout... thirty minutes at level 15... after running about two miles last night (about eighteen hours earlier), the body knows it's getting a wake up call... I did three reps of ten on the weight machine where you pull down on the bar, whimpy weight (might have been a hundred pounds) and then three reps of ten on the recumbent bench press (the one where you sit up and press the bar away from your chest)... and then just over twenty minutes on the treadmill at just over five mph, which is just over two miles... so then I treated myself to dinner at a local Italian place that is under new management... not bad... and the next movie up on the triple feature for tonight (if I stay awake for the third one) is Mr. Deeds... it's been forty five minutes now... I held off writing anything about it because I was looking for good stuff to say... there's some funny bits, but no one is James Stewart and this part was made for Stewart... I can live with Sandler doing Deeds, or at least get used to him... the reporter part, however, is totally miscast... I usually love Winona Ryder, besides being adorable, she's usually fun... but she is definitely over her head in this part... not hungry enough, no professional journalist enough, not cunning enough, not smooth enough in her lies to Deeds, just wrong for the part... unfortunately, she lost me... I actually channel surfed... ok, I enjoyed remembering the story and now want to see the original again, but this remake has the feel of a high school production of a classic film... sad, cuz from my perspective, it's got such a great message... maybe they should have opened a photo store... ok, so later on is Two Weeks Notice, but in the meantime I'm switching over to commercial TV (which allows for much more distraction and wandering, so maybe I'll write something somewhere) for Ghostbusters... I'll come back to post more later... we're hardly spending the night together if I don't post anything until morning, aye?...
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