she's a gold mine of music because I seem to like all the music she puts on her website and that, if you know me at all, is the second most exciting thing that can happen to me... so I thank her again for the musical orgasms...

as much as I love the old familiar favorites (and there are songs I've heard many thousands of times, at least, in this life), listening to new music is just as much what music is all about for me... this is why I love my trips to the library where I pick out stuff I've never heard of, like Frank Black Francis (CD of the same name) which includes two CDs... a 15 song bare bones demo CD (guitar and voice) and a 13 song produced (or treated, as it's called) CD... so I slide into new music now, music dating back to the late eighties (mixed with some new stuff he released in 2004)... names dropped (for what name dropping is worth) in the liner notes and demo include: Husker Du, Mirror Man Improv Show, Gary Smith, Two pale Boys, Catholics, Pixies... also places: Boston, LA, London, and Copenhager... unique sound, I like (word-listening will come at some later time)...

and checking emails today I found two people I met through their public events back in 1999 when they were just getting started... Sue started Orlando Connections back then and I attended several of her early 'mixers'... and I remember Michelle before she had the website and toll free numbers... we talked about their ideas and for me, the meeting people was way more important than the shows they were putting on... I admire them both for taking the idea of helping friends meet each other into a business plan and making their respective business plans work for them... they both went for the more affluent dress-to-impress crowd (not my home and somewhere I have not visited in years, not since I had friends who dragged me along, but then, maybe they were just dragging my money and high-end Hugo Boss suits along, after all)... I doubt I'd find the kind of down to earth existential creative people in their business suit and dressy casual outfits, but I sometimes ponder crashing one of their events just to say hello after all these years (not that I'd expect them to remember me)...

and then I think, should I invest $99 bucks for a year of unlimited emails with Michelle's people... or perhaps the $40 (wait, it's gone up to $60) for three months that eHarmony charges... or whatever Tickle is charging these days... or Friendster or any of the other services that promise to match me up with the girl of my dreams?...

should I walk into one of their makeover parties or spa parties and let them cut and do whatever they might do to my hair and poke and prod my psyche for improvements?... I might, as a lark with a friend, but I don't take that whole material world mindset seriously, so for me it's similar to walking into a bar whete people who play with alcohol and cigarettes gather... it's all just disguises and distortions to hide behind and logically does not bode to be places to find real, healthy, pretense-free people more interested in sharing life's true personal meanings, what is really going on in their hearts and heads, than in strutting their latest designer wardrobe or staggering about slurring random phrases or karaoke, even...

cynical?... me?...

I just tired of the social games and fears that hide behind them... and it's been years since anyone actually reached or even fluttered near the energy (oh, there I go getting all metaphysical again, aye?) level where I live in my presense... maybe it would take someone like lastyearsgirl, all musical and social butterfly yet still writing/sharing what's real inside her to convince me to play in those worlds again... and maybe it's boredom or maybe I am ready to put on my dancing shoulds and stroll my act through the party-world without actually getting any on me again...

so maybe this is real cynicism... or maybe I am getting subliminal messages from Frank Black Francis (since the whole second CD just flew into my head and I don't remember anything I heard because I was so focused on reading and writing, that is, until the last kind of haunting refrain faded out and I thought I heard him repeating, fucking around)... it'll get another play now...

but wait, the mail just arrived (with all the energy of Precious and her best friend) and what does it hold for me if not One Beat (Sleater-Kinney)... it plays and the first sounds, the voice, sounds so familiar... vocal flashbacks to Yes?... and others, old friends to my ears... yes, thank you...

and the library is very very good to me too...

zzzzzzzzzzzzz....

yes, I slipped into sweet slumbers (and yes, I can usually sleep with most any music in my ears), waking every time the CD ended because the girls were a bit louder than usual (and I didn't wake enough to press the repeat button on the little CD player) and they are still working on the exterior of this building (and they wonder why I gave the apartment community a poor rating?)...

waking with three hours to get to work, finding Precious still chatty and Rasputin semi-conscious, and needing to shower and cook and eat (and knowing I will watch 24 for an hour), and wanting to make a phone call (but not sure just when), there's not much time to finish this entry... so perhaps I'll leave it as it is or perhaps I'll finish it tomorrow (if there's time, I might be shopping for the weekend and somewhere in the mix I will need to find time for sleep if I am wise)... still, I could really use a good mind dump too...

alas, there never seems to be enough time...

and then there's your writings that I want to read, your creativity I want to enjoy and your lives that I want to keep up with... and most of the time I don't have enough time to take care of everything in my own life (all this time given to work, most of which is make-work work, what a foolish way to live... sometimes I think life would make more sense without physical bodies)...

so it's time to go... but I wanted to mention meetup and other meeting stuff... people of Orlando, respond!... everybody else too J

maybe more tomorrow...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)