still could be sinnar, as you may know, this is something in progress and the formation of a word (though Sinnar may well be a city in Africa, or elsewhere, for that matter, and both words might be commonly used in some language somewhere in the universe, for English, it is new to me and Webster, so it continues to ruminate in my mind for whatever reason exists up there... and a voice says, "pay attention or you might miss something" and thankee sai)...

so the distractions or interruptions or whatever they were were consumed, digested, and passed and on went Jimmy Eat World, though it was background sound that may have fed my subconscious, but as I was not here writing it did not become obvious influence as it played this time... it shall be heard again, one of these days...

what did happen is I ignored the server slow-down (go figure, it's the site I pay supergold membership fees for that is not coming up... some incentive to pay for this one, huh?) and rambled on to cap act one of the return of the fool (a show loosely based on the marbles that keep falling out of my head, or something like that) with a fourth rhyme (or song, if you feel ambitious) and uploaded them to where they belong... the thread of the musical story of the creation of a universe continues to unravel (or, depending on perspective, weave a tapestry)...

and it is time for more music and more writing as the muses call out... feed me...

so I shall continue, again, as I did before, to return... and so I do... from Jimmy Eat World I shift to Chantal Kreviazuk (is she actually using the caps/lower case to print her name?... nevermind), What if it All Means Something... love the question... don't find the CD all that inspiring tonight though, so it could be I have not actually fully digested and passed the distractions or it could be that the lack of sleep (I did just wake from a nap to write the rhymes and previous entries) is catching up with me and it's time for another nap... or it could be the lower case t...

I've been neglecting email... I am not exactly sure why this thought came to me just now... I have not received much in the way of personal email this week, but I have some that has been sitting in my mailboxes for a few weeks, at least... deeper thoughts, closer to the sticky stuff that I call muck and mire, perhaps... while it is true that I have not had enough time to adequately satisfy my creative muses (as the dormancy of my head and heart and other places clearly demonstrates), I will never return to actively communicating in writing on a personal one-to-one basis if I do not continue to return to responding to email in a more timely manner... all this longing for love and music aside, friends are found in the one-on-one...

and wisdom is found between blinks...

and it all comes down to love that was never really given... hmmmm, it seems if you wait long enough into a CD, there's a good chance at least one of the songs will have words that grab... Waiting grabs me... I'll have to give it a one-on-one one of these nights... it didn't grab me quite enough to drop everything and hit repeat right now...

and once again the thought that someone who once knew me well who is currently out of touch, an old lover or friend, might be out there reading just pops up as if out of the blue... I suppose the way the thought kind of sneaks up on me like this might suggest that I do not live in the past nearly as much as I might think I do (since much of my creative inspiration comes from memories)... for as much as I wish to reconnect with most of the people I've known in this life and as much as I wish for more complete closer of some ancient open questions (and wounds), my obsessive desires remain much more focused on playing with my toys (and while I am here, the toys are words) and enjoying the moment and dreaming/wishing/hoping for more sharing (and love, don't forget the love)... this is a good thing, I think...

maybe I was influenced by the music... and ready for your love...

who are you, anyway?

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)