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2004-01-13 - 10:17 p.m. mess of frustration frustration seeps into behind the candoor tonight... the reason is simple, even if I can not find it at the moment... I mean, not finding something is the reason for the frustration... add this frustration to the frustration of not having writing time and compound that frustration with the frustration of not having time to get to the gym tonight (and having to be out the door for work in less than 30 minutes and not having showered yet) brings up a lot of frustration from wherever it lives when it is not seeping and creeping into my nooks and crannies... oh, what a phrase to use when Austin Powers happens to be on the TV just as his girlfriend is in bed with a naked Fat Bastard... aherm, enough distraction... the thing(s) I have not found after spending the few precious hours I have to do anything searching through the crap that piles up and gets stuffed into boxes instead of immediately sorted and trashed are the tickets I got last month (60 in a 45 and guess what, I couldn't find my insurance card or registration in the car to show the nice officer... what a nice surprise on the way home from work one fine December morning)... I immediately (almost) called my insurance company and got a temproary card faxed (and they promised a duplicate card in the mail and that never arrived) and I went to the tag office and got a duplicate registration for $3 and then... and then... holidays and distractions... people coming over so rush to clean house (which means throw all the crap on the tables and counters into boxes for future sorting)... resurgence of exercise leaving only a couple of hours a day for anything else... and lazy do-nothing weekends where I ignored the need to search for the tickets (and faxed insurance card which is probably in the same "safe" place)... hey, I skipped laundry since December too, so I'm talking lazy weekends... except for the gym, I've been focused on taking care of the body and changing extremely lazy habits takes a lot of focus and energy, ya know?... deeper down, all this sorting through papers and semi-cleaning tonight brought up some old notes and numbers and memories of the incredibly horrible things that happened to me in the last decade (and the fact that there's almost nothing to be found from before 2001 and so little worth keeping since is definitely room for depression, which easily follows frustration as you well may know... if I don't get to the gym tomorrow you can be sure that I am leaving the door open for a major pity party this weekend... yelp... feel free to slap me now... so anyway, I think the 30 days have passed and the computer (you know, THE computer... the big brother computer we are all in somewhere out there) might be spitting out a notice of suspension any day now... I am going to search the car tomorrow morning and maybe search a little more around the apartment (I've run out of boxes, so these papers must be in a really safe place, huh?)... and if I don't find any of it I'll call the courts and plead stupidity and ask them how to deal with losing the tickets... I expect a trip to the court might be augmented by a trip somewhere else to get a printout of the tickets (not to mention another call to my insurance company for another faxed copy of the insurance card and a reminder that I never did receive a duplicate actual card in the mail)... wonderful... yeah, instead of sleeping, which means instead of getting to the gym in the evening when I will need to be sleeping... maybe a day off from work is in order... anyway, it's time to splash some water on myself and head to work... and how was your day?...
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