I went to church yesterday to see Dogma (it was the UUU church... the University Unitarial Universalists... at least I think that's what they call themselves) and I thought of z0tl...

and Melanie...

but before this entry composes itself into the nonsense it might become (since my mind is rather loosely fitting tonight), I give a serious moment to you and someone who deserves more respect and attention and love than this world has given him so far, my friend z0tl... go visit... now, if you don't mind... my babble can wait...

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and then my mind took off and hasn't actually been heard from since (I think I left off somewhere back here or there, but then, it was twenty years ago today that Sgt Peper told his band to play, or something like that)... somewhere between Toronto and Monterey, or perhaps between the lines of Etobicoke and Mississagua and Carmel-by-the-Sea and Seaside, California or Canada, and no wonder I get confused, they both start with a C, but be that as it may be or not be...

oh yeah, we're off to see the wizard now, baby...

the irony of these wide-open moods (did I already tell you this?... I mean, did this paragraph already appear in a previous entry... it would be quite a faux-pas, aye?) is that I can seduce myself (or let myself be seduced) by words and the words have no gender or age or any specific physical identity... heck, I could be falling in love with a thirteen year old boy (laughing?... well, it's true... many do not put real stats online and besides, I don't seek them... I read and feel connected and let the feeling inspire me... this is one of the best wonders about the web, that anyone can write words that connect with someone else and all the usual stereotypes can be minimized, if not eliminated... the posters at work {I work in a psych hospital for abused kids and teens, in case you didn't know that} remind me of the dangers of taking online connections too seriously and especially warn of the potential for abusers to pose as kids, so perhaps a public service announcement reminding us all to be careful giving any real personal information [like a last name or school name can lead someone right up in your face] to anyone online is in order, but with serious precautions in place, let yourself go anonymously and feel the inspirations that you can find online)...

and on the other hand (or is it?)...

some people might not get me, but then, what I am is what i am you what you are or what?... sometimes I think there are people in this world who have nothing better to do with their lives than to spend all their time looking for ways to control other people and force others to think and act like they do... it must be some warped insecurity that turns these people into hypocrits who will condemn anyone who doesn't support them even when they are contradicting themselves... like maybe there's another point of view that has value?... oh no, that would mean I might not be right and I must be right because my wimpy mind could not handle not being right about anything... so now let's attack cookies...

don't let it bring you down, it's only cookies burning...

I absolutely love this idea and I again send more appreciation to she who was mentioned in previous entries, perhaps the previous entry if this entry gets uploaded immediately after the entry in which she was mentioned...

there, I said it again...

I have no idea where this came from (or why it is here)... or
this, for that matter (though I like it) and then this came from the anals of the abnormal and as if this could explain anything, I may be giving you the ladder to the escape hatch or possibly even a stairway to heaven...

anyway, I don't know if linking this will help or hurt business at the said restaurant, but I'd sure not go there... I mean, who knows what they might do to the food in the privacy of the kitchen if they have the audacity to tell people they can not sit together just because they are hugging or otherwise affectionate... of course they were gay... and in Hollywood (California)... and told to sit across from each other or leave the place... shocking, huh?...

and continuing to follow my lost mind, where it will go (maybe we're fixing a hole where the rain got in and kept my mind from wandering... or maybe that how I lost it), I checked my stats the other day and found people got here via the following pages listed here in no particular order:

someday I might comment on each, but then, that might be going a bit too far (indubitibly?)... but the serious question we all want answered is... was Mulder amused?...

it's always (or at least often) weird to find someone with the name or initials of an old friend, or old love, wondering if that person writing their life on the web is the person you once knew... I usually ask and find myself disappointed that it's not the person I knew... lots of people have the same name in this world... it happened again, though I didn't ask because the notes were not turned on... besides, I mean, smith, after all...

I understand so well from experience and yet, perhaps my saving grace or folly, I put little time, energy, or concern into being normal, fitting in with others, or matching myself with the world... maybe I'm amazed at the way I love you all the time...

my sleep patterns might be called insomnia by some textbooks, I call them my sleep patterns... my moods may be called depressive or more likely manic-depressive and perhaps bi-polar, I call them my moods...

have you ever been up?... have you ever been down?... have you ever been lost?... have you ever been found?... aye?...

whatever could we be thinking in our mad rush toward some facade of success as we leave behind the gentle wisdom we know instinctively when we are born, that to love and be loved is the most important thing there is... life would be so beautiful if we only would...

I hope you are enjoying yourself, or at least keeping busy enough to not realize how miserable you are... that's what the rambling is about, you know, and the links, but don't tell yourself or you won't be fooled into forgetting you've forgotten how to have fun...

now can we dance?

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)