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2005-06-29 - 12:37 a.m. loving linkers 2 (part one) if one by one I visit you and find something to say about my experience in reading your words in your web world, then what would the sum of the words I said (or wrote) come to, I wonder...
perhaps you recall some of the banners (or the hints at history as in the entry previous)... there are some diaries who place a few words, sometimes seemly random thoughts, in a small space and their words somehow lure you into clicking again and again, as if you are looking for something, but if you thought about it, you'd be wondering just what it is you are looking for... Eric Anthony comes to mind, as does Bobby Burgess (before this, even), as do the funda (oh, pishaw) and others, but this namedropping is mere slight of hand to introduce itineration, who, besides being one of the golden souls that list me as a favorite, provides just such an irreverent, insightful, oddly familiar entries (oh?) that presents a unique perspective blending an odd obscurity with a friendly, personal touch... or maybe it's the salvia... or television... or some image burned into both of our heads... lol... and except for the ad-crap that SPYBOT will hopefully block, I like this too... and it is time to segue into a different CD for my ears as I segue into a different diary for my eyes... the CD: Unearth, The Oncoming Storm (quite a dramatic change from the previous CD, huh?) and the diary: dulligirl... the reason: the next CD in the CD stack and the next diary in the momentary list of linkers... coincidence?... who knows, but already I am bleary-eyed and I've only got to the second diary in this attempt to visit every diary that lists me as a favorite (oh, is that what this is all about?... now there's a little less senslessness to the entry, aye?)... obviously I've tried this before... obviously I seldom get past a few diaries... what can I expect when I stop to read every entry in each diary?... I still want to update my linkers page, but time, time, time, there never seems enough of it (hey, maybe I'm doing it right now... at least starting to)... just as there's never enough time to actually listen to all the music I want to listen to or do those marathon TV series or movie watching things I would love to do again with friends who would love to do those things again with me... Precious does the Friends marathon now and then... and she'd love to do the 24 marathon if she had the series... the best I can do is come and go between work and sleep and stuff... so much stuff... life is made of too much stuff... and where's George Carlin when we need him?... so for reasons that may seem obvious if you read me often enough or whatever reasons there may be, I relate to dulligirl... and it's not just cuz she mentioned certain TV shows and movies I relate to well (defending your life?... isn't that what life's all about?... or is it justifying your existence?... ah, at least we can laugh)... she writes real... and is that Death Cab for Cutie mentioned there?... hey, you hear that?... now it's not the field hand feet that attracts me to luvabeans writing (though her participation in a wonderful treasure hunt birthday for her friend's birthday is quite endearing, feet and all)... or that she's moving to California and somewhere in the back of my mind the idea of returning to the west has more merit than I give it time... or even the fact that Carvel is an oh wow blast from my past as well (go life, give up more syncronicity you sly jokster you)... and it's surely not cuz she's famous or anything... it's that I can find things to relate to, often deeply, in almost every entry (and we've not left the current entry yet)... and she makes me laugh, that's important... yeah, I can easily say that visiting luva is a pleasure... the music obviously influenced my visits to the sites above and perhaps I should apologize for the manic hyperbolic rambling that the screaming Unearth brought out as opposed to the more sensitive read that the softer duet music inspired... moving on to an Avalon CD now, who was referred to as a religious ABBA by someone recently, we shall see if this entry shifts into yet another mood-ether... you tell me... it was a while back that I fell in love with clarity25 for beyond beautiful, she's got an essential realness and vulnerability in her writing that gives me smiling goose bumps and touches me in places where hope lives and yes, where bittersweet tears sometimes still fall... she, her love, her lover, her life, her sharing is so beautiful (sometimes all I can do is sigh)... and her art inspires me to love her all the more (if I am ever rich again, I shall buy some for my walls)... and if the truth be known I did not say much about my dear clarity because personally, I feel lonely and believing in love this much as I do brings tears to my eyes and then typing is kinda chall;enging ua jo?... sigh, I relate too well sometimes... pause... ok, I'm back... and speaking of relating, once again antipodean writes an entry I've written, if not in words, then in my mind (and right on time for this retrospective reflection I am doing this weekend, or at least so far, today)... and again (as if this retrospective of my linkers was supposed to happen right now, this week) I read myself thinking in someone else's words... again... again... and it continued as I caught up on the past month, as if we were walking in the same shoes through the same experiences in different places (and bodies)... thoughts are like that... eerie, seriously eerie... and connective, touching, warm-fuzzy goose bumps... it's that feeling that somebody understands, even if they don't know me, somebody knows what I think, feels what I feel, even if they don't know I do... companionship from afar... belonging... together alone... I've settled, I've waited, both have pros and cons... and just recently I chose to wait and not settle once again... lonely, but somehow hopeful excitement still shines through the haze of scary despair... and before this entry gets too introspective, Nelly is going to Sweat now... yes, this particular CD Stack might be considered eclectic... and with the roommies coming home I paused a bit and of course they turned the TV on and left the room... now returning, Frankie Laine has my ears... speaking of ecclectic, there's mspsyched1, who probably should trade places in space with me cuz she's a east coaster at heart and I suspect I am a west coaster deep down... after reading her for years (her use of lyrics in titles first grabbed my attention), I sense she understands the challenges of trust and the strength she demonstrates in continuing to share the roller coaster ride of her real life in words with us on the web is a tribute to the human spirit... another log timer here at Dland is moonbaby8u who's another of us pouring her life into words out here on the web (it makes us crazy, it keeps us same, it's like a friend without a name, it's always there when we're alone, we rise, we fall, somehow we've grown... hoping just to be known... writing just to be known)... reminding me that I am out here, especially when I am alone and feeling lonely, hoping someone notices, hoping for a little recognition, a moment's caring, a few kind words... and I when I hear sweet sad songs in my head I feel emperorincxtcan understand (or is at least willing to put up with me, which is good too)... I still think Connecticut because I misread the diary name the first time I saw it and that stuck in the corssed wiring in my brain... we do not get rambling details, we get ponderings and emotions in few words and in brief statements whole stories are told, in small strokes, whole pictures are painted... and dear ariza, amidst updates on life and love and the stuff of being a girl, takes me on magical journeys through words, just look... and we are left to wonder what is real and what is imagination on several levels... we move on to fellow sci-fi fan and link lover (and she does a much better job of finding interesting stuff than I do, except for the diaries I link, of course), catz-eyes... going there is so much fun, but it's also work sometimes to figure out how to open and explore all the stuff on it with this slow little laptop (it's fun work though)... many times I've found cat's kindness in my notes at just the right moment and that is a gift beyond measure, the unexpected caring is precious... now it's not that pureone is dangerous or certifiable, mind you, but be careful giving her socks... of course she has help being strange, I've got to be strange all by myself here... sometimes I look at a profile and find myself there and love what I see written... sometimes I love what I see written, but have my doubts... for instance suenosverde suggests this diary is intelligent musings... intelligent, me... well, it's possible, I did well on tests, made several Dean's Lists, and graduated magna or summa something... but the semi-repetitive off the wall free association babbling I do here?... heck, Kate, I don't even know what is green on suenosverde... still, I am honored and flattered and all this self-depreciation is proof of that... obviously she is a genius to recognize the intelligent musings amidst the babbling nonsense... and hopefully some amusement was found here cuz life's challenging enough so I offer intelligent hugs too... maliger has been gone for a couple of months, but at least DLand hasn't redirected the diary to the error page like it does with so many others... thought provoking and fun poetry can be found in Don's diary... and I am touched that my sensitive, wanting side is recognized (I am longing for more than this world, so true... whatever gender I may be)... bettyalready is not gone (in spite of what some might say, aye?)... she's a clever silly fun writer when she's got stuff to say... or props... she's even a clever silly fun writer when she has nothing to say, which takes real talent (especially with a new baby in the house, she does wonders with sleep deprivation)... but more than clever silly fun, there's an emotional zap in her writing that wakes me up to think (and that takes real talent too)... and caring, the caring is the best part... next, in our progression down the list of linkers with the most recently updated profiles at the top because that's how Andrew, father of DLand (who's been having a pretty tought year) told his software to sort linkers, we come to wolfi3 who just entered a novel in a competition so everybody say break a pencil (hey, break a leg works for actors, right?)... I love looking at the wolf pic... I am not exactly sure when or why wherwhenwhy locked up, but if you have no password then pass on to the next diary... or leave a note and ask how are ya or something... its-a-newday says I give great comments... I love appreciation... big smile here... noticing that she's been gone a few weeks and was sick at the beginning of the month, I hope all is well now and whatever is keeping her from updating is good news... I definitely appreciate an appreciative soul (the world needs more)... once upon a time I was a complete enigma... I know, cuz quotheraven said so and you know, you can quote the raven... I don't know if I am as complete an enigma anymore because, after all, no matter how carefully one plans out enignmaness, carelessly rambling on without inhibition for years just might let some secrets or even information out of the enigmatic bag that would be nondescript brown paper, naturally... what I do know for sure though is that besides being adorable, you'll find wonderful images, poetry, and caring there... and she loves music (no wonder I fell in love way back in candora, huh?)...
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