yup, another bit of catch up with five entries preceding this one uploaded tonight� there are many more in the pipeline, but my focus has been on relaxing this weekend and so the flow is slow, relatively babbling� there may well be more entries uploaded later, but for now, I pause and leave you the words below�

you write, I write, you read, I read, it is a beautiful symmetry, a wonderful literary dance we share� and when I am not holding up my end, when I am away, you seem to understand that it is not a reflection of my appreciation for you or of my desire to know you and read you� and I believe that when you are away, it is not a reflection of your feelings for me or the enjoyment you experience reading here�

and speaking of the onion blog (was I?), I find wonderful inspiration there whenever I find time to visit as there are some fun people and great writers sharing themselves and their creativity and their insights� that I do not have time to visit there often only inspires me to enjoy my visits there more when I do find time and in turn, I appreciate the writings and the writers there all the more�

which is why they inspired the following thoughts that are shared here because they transcend the onion space and represent me and my motivations and reasons and such so I'd like you to know too:

you are why I am online... you who put words out here, not necessarily to feel published or for any sort of profit, but simply to release your thoughts and feelings so they do not become a burden... and to put yourself into words when no one is around to share so that maybe someday someone will read and know you better...

and this is why I write... to hear myself think, to express my emotions, to record my existence when I am alone in the hope that someone will care to share, but even when no one does, at least I can read the words and know I was...

and where have I been...

I switched shifts at work, from nights to days, and changed jobs... adjusting to the changes continues and leaves a lot less writing time and, though it may just be my perspective, a lot less time period... the new job is fun, in many ways very different and in some ways the same... a good change for me as I enjoy change as it keeps my brain exercising...

and now that I have evenings and nights off (forgetting I do need sleep sometimes), I've been putting off fixing the air conditioning in my car and buying a new computer so I can indulge my love of music, especially my love to explore new music... a list of most of the concerts I've enjoyed and intend to enjoy can be found in the previous entry if you're interested in music...

and my writing habits continue, that is, I write daily and have since I could first hold a crayon, but as I said, I don't have as much time so expanding my writing places has not been continuing as it would if I had more time for writing and uploading... my primary writing spaces see at least a daily entry and there are three that receive frequent entries and then there are the others, like this one, that receive an entry whenever I can find the time...

usually it requires giving up sleep, as it does tonight... I got home from a concert (Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins... Jenny is the lead singer of Rilo Kiley, doing something a little different with her current tour, if that helps)and I wrote an entry and fell asleep in this chair and woke and instead of going to bed I wandered around on line and found myself here...

it is time constraint, not lack of interest that keeps me from visiting more... I have several of you clicked as watched blogs (or whatever it's called) and wish I had time to read more...

I need to get some sleep now as I have another concert this afternoon, about an hour away, so it'll mean being showered, dressed, and out the door by 3pm, which means awake in six hours or so... since starting a flexible 9-5 position, I've averaged 4-5 hours sleep a night, which takes getting used to after averaging 6-8 hours a night for the last three years or so...

ironically, I find that I still don't like to sleep at night (never have), though I am very comfortable sleeping during the day... I've been wondering how much of this preference is habit, how much is natural circadian rhythm, and how much is my personality, particularly in that when I go to bed at night I feel much lonelier and wanting to cuddle than when I go to bed in daylight hours...

for what it's worth, there is a tid bit of insight into me, if only to keep true to trying to share myself and not simply record the events in my online writings... I never know when I little self-insight might pop out...

I appreciate your comments more than I have time to say... I'd respond to each individually here and I'd visit your blogs if I had more time and hope to find some time sometime... maybe Sunday after the concert (if I don't pass out at the keyboard and sleep all day)...

more than anything though, I want to live and share life offline more and that is where I've been, seeking sharing offline... so far I'm having much fun enjoying the music and wandering around, but the sharing is still lacking on many levels...

remaining hopeful is a full time job...

I hope you are finding some of what makes you enjoy happening in your life (and taking steps to make it happen if you are not finding it just now)... and I shall return here when I have time because more than a few of you have intrigued me and I'd like to read and know you more... g'nite and share a smile today...

thank you for being out there J

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)