for any who might understand (and I expect none to), beyond anything words can say I must admit that this is an entry of variety, of deconstruction, of consanguineous zeitgeist...

and that (not the last paragraph, which shall stand on it's own as the briefest and deepest profundity ever recorded in the history of humankind or a Shakespearean tragedy disguised as light comedy, but rather that that that precedes this parentheses refers to the last two entries) was what was still in the part of my brain that was not blogathoning... and now you can find all the blogathon entries, the index and the first, right over there on the left... yes, right on the left... left, right?... right, left...

love that language...

who wants to do an Abbott & Costello marathon with me?... who knows who Abbott & Costello are?... don't scare me, tell me their linguistic comedic genius is still remembered and revered somewhere in the world...

how about The Marx Brothers?...

yeah, the founders of communism... am I getting cynical or what?... well, the weekend was intense (we'll just segue into the distractions of real life in real time as if I never mentioned anything cynical or humorous or historic or whatever, ok?), pushing the envelope of stamina and concentration as I stayed with the blogathon all the way through even though I did not officially sign up� using the desktop computer with the leather chair (with a pillow under my butt) was ok� I didn�t notice it for a while, but the last four hours or so the pillow caved in and because as much of a discomfort as was the hard leather�

getting a new laptop is high on the agenda this month�

unfortunately, so is paying the biannual car insurance, so the laptop might have to tap into savings and I do my best not to tap into savings especially because savings has not gone up in recent years (since Rasputin and Precious moved in, actually� between lifestyle {eating out a whole lot} and extra bills {teenage girl in the house} and needing the bigger place so she can have a bedroom my preference to not count pennies with a roommate, my bills have risen to the point where I do not have extra to add to savings most months� bummer, since I�d like to retire last year� no, that wasn�t a typo)�

sharing life and space with someone who enjoyed home cooked meals and a more reasonable rent would be ideal, though I�d also like to be close to Raspy and Precious since they can use the help� so all I need to do is find the one and move into the apartment next door� or two houses on the same street� and I wonder if I�ll be thinking about other cities once Precious heads off to college�

anyway, that is the primary reason I have not purchased a cutting edge laptop (and also, the last time I purchased a cutting edge laptop, in 1997, it was obtained at cost for $1600 and was no longer cutting edge after a year, or less, and it was virtually obsolete for anything but a glorified word processor within three years... the last laptop I bought, for $100, had more power than that wholesale $1600 one that was once cutting edge...

of course in the 90s, cost was no concern... I wanted what I wanted and went out and got it... usually wholesale... it's so unfair, but in almost any case the more wealth you have, the more you can save on purchases...

like the house I bought in 1990 in half an hour without any credit checks just by plopping twenty five thousand bucks on the builders desk... or the car I bought in 1991 at below dealer costs simply because cash was so appealing to the owner of the dealership...

and even social life is easy when you've got lots of cash to spread around... I'd show up at most clubs in town and they'd wave me in as a VIP while everybody else paid cover charges (and pay for drinks?... they wouldn't have it... if only I had it so good when I actually drank alcohol semi-regularly)...

oh well, memories are sweet sometimes, but they tend to give poverty a bitter taste... not so much because I want wealth... I actually like my mostly existential life... but the sweet memories are flavored with human greed and pretense and corruption and hypocrisy... the rich do just get richer, money does beget money... and those who most need the discounts and freebees and low interest rates have no chance of getting them...

actuary tables... collateral... good business sense... trust the rich, suspect the poor, and respect no one... for respect is not good for business...

yes, I do have a hard streak of cynicism running through me today... it's slipping out in all the entries since blogathon ended... yeah, all three of them... and blogathon just ended just over twenty-four hours ago and I slept and worked between then and now and like a good tsunami, there's just no stopping the flow of words once they get, ummm, flowing... so I guess I'll just spew forth whatever spews forther from whatever corner of my sleeping mind it may come until I am exhausted and have no more words... it happens every now and then... occasionally during a blue moon... for a moment or few...

and then I nodded off, but not for long for I was remembering what I was about to remember and reference for your edification and compromise (as is all that passes before your eyes, a vision of what your mind makes of what my mind makes of what passes before my eyes) a comment inspired by allowing myself to imagine being close within another's mind (an intimacy deeper than any) and releating to what I imagine her priorities to be...

but that's an entry all it's own...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)