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2003-10-26 - 8:01 p.m. just in case I knew this was coming... I seldom sleep during the day on Sunday and drag myself to work Sunday night and then somehow find my way home Monday morning to fall asleep sitting up... this week, however, I have hopes to stay awake tomorrow morning to drive north through Atlanta and on into Tennessee... I suppose I will be drinking a lot of Code Red tomorrow... I still need to pack whatever I will be taking along with me and shower and stop to check mail so any bills that might be in there can be paid on time as I might be gone a few days or longer (though I've got the feeling I'll be back before Halloween)... I never did buy a suit or jacket (I am going up there for a wedding) or any sort of warmer clothes... it's not just laziness and procrastination, it's also very much poverty... blah, blah, blah, it would all be so much more fun if somebody was sharing the love of it all... yeah, same old song... I think I know how to get there... if I was wise, I would not be coming back here every day (or twice a day) to update you on this life for it is rather pathetic to report the same lack of activities, sitting in the big green chair, watching sports on TV, adding up fantasy sports points, ordering delivered food and eating... wait, I left out the shower and bodily functions... and all this done with an extra hour due to the annual clock changing ritual we do in this time zone... can we be having more fun?... ah, but really now (this is the real life diary, remember?... most of the people reading my other sites probably haven't wandered over here yet and if they did they found this sort of dribble and never returned, but I keep hoping there are some people in this world who really do want to know me in the real world, offline-like, and may even be a friend if we'd ever be in the same city or neighbors, even, so in spite of my bleary blues and dimwitted depressions and aimless apathy and almost complete ambivalence, I struggle to show the truth and share here cuz what's the use in trying to know someone if you don't get down to truth, right?), I am exceptionally bored and disillusioned and frustrated with this life and those I have met in the physical world and would very much welcome a major change for the positive toward higher levels of optimistic energy (I keep trying to tell you I am mostly dead, but maybe you don't believe me)... so just in case some happy enlightened eager-for-change person stops by to read this entry, please suggest your idea for a change... more than anything I want (enough to need) a friend in the physical world who can figure out how to turn me on (and I don't mean sexually, though physical stimulation and love would definitely be a wonderful change too)... someone who understands how to and who will actualize unconditional love (how else to be a friend, really?)... someone who might want to share a song, a meal, a movie, a conversation, a game, a walk, a life... and until someone comes along I'll just ramble on, hopefully more positively than I have been recently, hopefully with more energy and better health habits than I have had recently... hopefully taking care of and loving myself more... cuz the hope that someone may come along to see through the crap and shell and muck and mire and find the keys and things I really need and then want to actually connect and actualize them keeps me pouring myself out here in words, even when it is mostly pathos...
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. . . . . the moment we interrupt these seemingly mindless dots for a word from (or at least about our sponsor (hmmm, sponsor?... what's the opposite of sponsor?)... anyway, now, as ado-less as possible, the word for you or andrew)... connections . . . . AND WHATDYA MISS? Can You Laugh At The Sky? DSandDrew It's Been A While Just a Moment (Proof of Mice) A Moment of Forever older still random chance who me? leave a note? (read archived notes) send me mail? you want to know me? soundtrack 101 Things The Sequel The Trilogy 202 Things 200 Things 202 More Things 202 Things Again testing123 have time, love words? sleepwriting (where the heart dreams) and now, in RealTime� and then, (e)thereal and now, briefly, in case it matters and now, the dirt, drama, and details (babbling) DO ME! (Johari Style) DO ME WRONG! (but do me right) SOAP! (EPISODE ONE) (the dark side of candoor) loving linkers other loves A Diaryland Survey other surveys small world your profile matters (search for you & find me) tell others read others applause? favor? gift? get your own! saturn rings and other places googlisms browsing where've ya been? the searchers favorites 911 HEY AMERICA! LOOK AT YOUR CHILD STOP THE ABUSE (GET THE CODE) THOUGHTS ON GOD ( temporary attractions ) BACK TO #1 @ GOOGLE! WAS #1 @ MSN! (for a while, now on page (EXPERIMENTAL PLAYTHINGS) RSS? who links here blogwise Blogarama Globe of Blogs blogthings ~ BLOGLINKERS ~ ~ BLOGROLLING ~ Blogroll Me! published blogadvance blogazoo blogexplosion blogmad? bloglines (PREVIOUS TEMPORARY ATTRACTIONS) TSUNAMI INFO fantasy sports? BLOGGIES? sorry everybody Orange Blossom Music Festival Deland Music Festival MIT Survey brilliant idea Celebrate Birthdays FOR FREEDOM CONTINUE... talking dog SAY HELLO 407-325-1482 and if you want to leave take good care hope you make a lot of true friends out there |