well that went over well (I refer to my previous entry)... I appear to have either losts a few readers or gained a few critics, but that is life in the life of a public diary, huh?... I wake up to find all sorts of opinions in my email, some from fake email addresses so response bounces... courage of convictions, no doubt... for the record, cuz I took the test a few times to see how the answer database might be set up, it appears that leaving answers unanswered (choosing to be agnostic in taking the test) is grounds for condemnation to Level 8, for if you do not agree you must be Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers... so much for keeping an open mind about things beyond our actual comprehension... but then, that's what human religion appears to be about, closing the mind to possibilities... I don't like anything that is primarily based on fear...

I actually received a couple of offers to be saved, but since they did not promise that heaven was made of chocolate, I decided they weren't really serious... I am not here to offend you, in case you didn't know that, so if you find offense please look in the mirror and ask yourself why you choose to try to turn a smile upside down just cuz the smile might not agree with you... I hope this thought and the suggestion helps you through your trials and tribulations... I'm happy, how are you?...

and I did my best not to laugh out loud too...

so what else is new in this world today... laundry is in progress... CDs are being copied for my personal use... I straightened and organizd the kitchen and living room a bit (it'll last until my dear roommies get home (they went south for the weekend and I must admit that as much as I love them and feel lonelier, I love the privacy), but it's nice to see things put away once in a blue moon... this, from a kid who only saw the floor of his bedroom once or twice a year)... there's still way too much stuff in the living room that belongs in their bedrooms, but such is life with roommates who have different ways... the kitchen counters are clean and clear, amazing huh?...

I wonder if they are going to turn me into an OC... naaaa, one look at my table-desk and room assures me that there is not much chance of that happening anytime soon... it's just the bug-food I tend to want cleaned up before the bugs move in... I think that's fair, since they claim to not want to live with bugs either... speaking of which, Men In Black was on again last night and I watched a bit of it before turning off the TV... definitely an alternative perspective on the universe and life on Earth that I can relate to, though I can do without all the violence and power tripping... and here's a question for my sci-fi cartoon afficianatos: is Tripping the Rift as good as Futurama was?...

I probably ought to get a VCR so I can check out the few shows I did want to check out... one was Dead Like Me (the primary attraction was the cute star), but I no longer get Showtime so I don't get to see or tape that one even if I had a VCR... question for anybody watching it: did she stay cute and is it worth watching (and why... rarely is an answer meaningful without a good why, ya know?)... but obviously I do not turn on the TV much or have a VCR (or DVD or TV of my own, for that matter) because I could probably become a complacent couch potato under the right circumstances... cuddling with another couch potato might be one amicable circumstance, though now that I think of it, cuddling with flab (no less rolls of excess fat) is physically repulsive to me when I've tried it... it is almost as if I hear messages from the fat cells that tell me to run as fast as I can so they do not influence my fat cells to want to grow like that... it's a very metaphysical experience, really, some inate instinct I have that I attribute to my good health (or vice versa)... I intellectualize the instinct with the logic of knowing that self-love is taking care of the self, which includes the body, and if someone allows their body to grow to unhealthy proportions then they are not honestly self-loving and that is not the kind of love I seek in my intimacies... like I ask the question in my mind "if you do that to yourself, what would you do to me?...

having a profound love of food myself, I understand that excess fat comes from lack of will power and laziness and apathy and low self-esteem and depression and distorted self-images and perhaps even an aversion to (or fear of) physical intimacy... perhaps the physical discomfort of slouching and carried around all that excess physical baggage is accepted like a cross to bear for the internal baggage of unresolved issues... the fact that there are so many fat people in our culture makes it easier to overlook the serious self-abuse that overeating can be... that is sad, for it is one more step away from elightened conscious awareness and one step closer to extinction...

this is not intended to be a judgment of people (hearts, spirits, anima, beings inside the bodies)... I have known and dearly loved people inside fat bodies (ah, grandma), but I have a very strong aversion to physical intimacy with such bodies...

all this must be a result of my thinking about judgments people make based on sets of rules they accept as right and even more cuz I decided to splurge and order several (four) Italian dinners from a local restaurant last night (no, I did not eat them all... I have at least six more easy to re-heat meals in the freezer now... it's more expensive than buying frozen dinners, but it's much tastier and less processed this way... but I did eat enough {a little of everything... I love smorgasborgs} to feel bloated this morning)... so this entry is really a subtle (like a brick) motivation for me to wake up and get over to the gym and not take a day off from working out this week cleverly disguised as an exploration of my own personal preferences and reactions to the judgmental emails I received in response to what I thought was a silly and fun way to provide you with some irreverent information and fun...

who'da guessed it...

I would love for you to be around here so we could meet at the gym and work out or meet for lunch (and eat healthy, huh?... I do want to get back over to that whole foods healthy store again... the people in there were so much closer to the energy level that is comfortable for me, at least they were on that day... unfortunately, shopping there regularly is way beyond my meager budget at the moment, even though it's rather inexpensive compared to the places I used to shop in the nineties when I was living a Vegan life... it appears I must find a compromise one of these days) or talk a walk in a park (sun is shining again) or swim at the pool or head to the beach or run around the theme parks or catch a movie or check out a street fair or a new neighborhood or something we could both get into and call fun... alas, I do not appear to attract readers from Orlando and the few people I know around here are not into the more active things I am into...

so I shall close this entry and head to the gym all my myself (singing, don't wanna be... and laughing at the blatent begging {or clever [we can hope], but harmless [to be sure], treachery, for that matter} I might stoop to for the right person)... and laughing at the secrets that slip out within multiple parentheses as well (huh?)...

I am having fun sharing these words... hopefully you are too and whatever you do today, honestly love it...

. o O ( NOTES ARE THE NEW HAPPY PILL ) O o .
(just let me know you were here)